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Hi, didn't know there was an Aspergers section

wmc1982

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I have a long story and don't mean to sound desperate for friends; and I'm getting to the point to accept that I only have Christ. But I really could use some support somehow. No one seems to be on the same page I am at church. People have families and hobbies and all I do is obsess over God. I have drank a lot in the past to deal with problems which created even bigger problems. It's just hard being beaten down in so many ways by the world and by evil and having no Christian friends for support. I even made a few Youtube video's but idk, I never connected with anyone.
 

Bookmaker

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Hi Will,

Because it is difficult for those of us on the spectrum to connect with others, and difficult for others to connect with us, it is common to feel like we walk alone. Are you diagnosed AS or HFA? You might consider reading A Field Guide to Earthlings by Ian Ford. It explains well why we have difficulty connecting. I also recommend the book Aspergers From the Inside Out. Both books are written by people on the spectrum.

Richard <><
 
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Sabertooth

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Hi & welcome,

The down side of an ASD (sub-)forum is that we all tend to be introverts, so it takes more effort to get threads going.

One of my skills (that I have previously used on helpdesks) is that I can get a good fix on where somebody is on various issues the more they write (or say, on telephone). Until then, I am pretty clumsy with them using only body language and unclear emphasis in text.

I put my fellowship recommendations in a blogpost, Fellowship Hints for Christian Aspies...!
 
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W

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I am so sorry you feel alone - I've been feeling that way for all of my nearly 40 years. I don't think I've ever truly connected with anyone in church - and I have tried so hard. I went to Bible study after Bible study, but didn't know why I was awkward and couldn't connect. I received my diagnosis in the last year, and am now giving myself permission to stop trying so hard, in the church, and with relationships. As far as this forum goes - I often want to reply to someone, but then I worry that my words won't come out ok, and stop myself from replying. I wish I could help you, but I feel like we're going through the same things. I'm so sorry for your loneliness - I know how that feels.
 
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Sabertooth

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WM,
This is the best place to take that chance.

Australian autism expert, Tony Attwood once observed that if you put a group of Aspies in a room together, all of our symptoms would disappear. We "get" each other.
 
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grandvizier1006

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WM,
If you put a group of Aspies in a room together, all of our symptoms would disappear. We "get" each other.

An interesting and hopeful observation Sabertooth, but let's also remember to think realistically here. Most people aren't on the spectrum, and we can't only think of those who are on it as our friends. If I did that, then I would have missed out on so much in life. The only other person I know on the spectrum is my twin brother, and he's leaving my life now since he wants to be different and separate from me (twin thing, it's hard to explain if you're not a twin).

The best thing you need to do, Will, is get some books and learn what you can about how to manage your issues. Hopefully you've already done that, and if you have then the other thing to do is of course continue studying God's Word. Sometimes you might feel like you can't learn much when you're doing it alone, but a Bible study is good idea if you can find one. I'm trying to get into one right now at my huge, community-based, extroverted church (i.e. the worst kind of church an Aspie could ever hope to attend, and against my will, too). I probably won't make friends with anybody, but that won't stop me from trying. What I'd love to do is just have people to talk to. You'll find that with us, the lines between acquaintance and friend are blurred, which has pros and cons. But that's another topic.

Anyway, my point is simply remember that you are never truly alone. God is with you always, and there are so many people in your church, I'm sure, going through their own issues. Aspies aren't the only ones who feel lonely, anxious, miserable, etc. Our emotions and desires are very human, and sometimes I think we just all call ourselves "aliens" to make ourselves feel better about being different

So just do what you can to help others, using your life experiences as a means of identifying with people. I know that I have certainly found that I identify with a lot of people and situations, more so than I thought I would. I figured it would just be an NT thing, but let me tell you, there is no such thing as "something that only neurotypicals understand". And yes, that includes social cues and body language. We just don't learn it naturally, that's all

Finally, remember that your perceived deficiencies mean nothing to Christ. You are still fearfully and wonderfully made in God's Image, no matter how different you feel. One thing to understand is that the perceived "different-ness" we Aspies face is all in our minds--a trick from the devil to make us think we're worthless. And up until recently, I was believing that.

Eventually, however, I got out of this mindset when I realized that my identity is in Christ, not in my conditions or brain wirings or anything else about me. That may seem like a cop-out to avoid answering the question of what defines you, but the truth is that no one thing really defines you specifically. EVERYTHING about you defines you, and if one thing were to change then you'd be a different person.

Be strong, Will. I know it's hard and painful sometimes, and the world seems like a scary, harsh place, but remember that you are not the only Christian who suffers. We all do. Remember that you are not the only Christian who wonders if he can truly connect with God and His people--many of us do. And remember, of course, that you are certainly not the only Christian with Asperger's. There's just enough of us, I think, to make a difference in the church, if we all pitch and work towards Christ. Remember that we are no less a part of the body of Christ just because the current Protestant churches don't know where to put is and want to cover us. To God, every member of the body of Christ is important.

And I would like to say thank you so much for just making those Youtube videos. I saw them and was so relieved to find that I really wasn't alone. Just knowing that there were other Christians with Asperger's was so comforting, and I could really feel for your struggles about being awkward in church. Thanks so much for helping me along at a low point in my life. It's only naturally that I attempt to return the favor.
 
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Sabertooth

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An interesting and hopeful observation Sabertooth, but let's also remember to think realistically here. Most people aren't on the spectrum, and we can't only think of those who are on it as our friends...
His point was to contrast that with actual mental illness, where symptoms would persist.

It is further evidence for neuro-diversity...
 
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