WM,
If you put a group of Aspies in a room together, all of our symptoms would disappear. We "get" each other.
An interesting and hopeful observation Sabertooth, but let's also remember to think realistically here. Most people aren't on the spectrum, and we can't only think of those who are on it as our friends. If I did that, then I would have missed out on so much in life. The only other person I know on the spectrum is my twin brother, and he's leaving my life now since he wants to be different and separate from me (twin thing, it's hard to explain if you're not a twin).
The best thing you need to do, Will, is get some books and learn what you can about how to manage your issues. Hopefully you've already done that, and if you have then the other thing to do is of course continue studying God's Word. Sometimes you might feel like you can't learn much when you're doing it alone, but a Bible study is good idea if you can find one. I'm trying to get into one right now at my huge, community-based, extroverted church (i.e. the worst kind of church an Aspie could ever hope to attend, and against my will, too
). I probably won't make friends with anybody, but that won't stop me from trying. What I'd love to do is just have people to talk to. You'll find that with us, the lines between acquaintance and friend are blurred, which has pros and cons. But that's another topic.
Anyway, my point is simply remember that you are never truly alone. God is with you always, and there are so many people in your church, I'm sure, going through their own issues. Aspies aren't the only ones who feel lonely, anxious, miserable, etc. Our emotions and desires are very human, and sometimes I think we just all call ourselves "aliens" to make ourselves feel better about being different
So just do what you can to help others, using your life experiences as a means of identifying with people. I know that I have certainly found that I identify with a lot of people and situations, more so than I thought I would. I figured it would just be an NT thing, but let me tell you, there is no such thing as "something that only neurotypicals understand". And yes, that includes social cues and body language. We just don't learn it naturally, that's all
Finally, remember that your perceived deficiencies mean nothing to Christ. You are still fearfully and wonderfully made in God's Image, no matter how different you feel. One thing to understand is that the perceived "different-ness" we Aspies face is all in our minds--a trick from the devil to make us think we're worthless. And up until recently, I was believing that.
Eventually, however, I got out of this mindset when I realized that my identity is in Christ, not in my conditions or brain wirings or anything else about me. That may seem like a cop-out to avoid answering the question of what defines you, but the truth is that no one thing really defines you specifically. EVERYTHING about you defines you, and if one thing were to change then you'd be a different person.
Be strong, Will. I know it's hard and painful sometimes, and the world seems like a scary, harsh place, but remember that you are not the only Christian who suffers. We all do. Remember that you are not the only Christian who wonders if he can truly connect with God and His people--many of us do. And remember, of course, that you are certainly not the only Christian with Asperger's. There's just enough of us, I think, to make a difference in the church, if we all pitch and work towards Christ. Remember that we are no less a part of the body of Christ just because the current Protestant churches don't know where to put is and want to cover us. To God, every member of the body of Christ is important.
And I would like to say thank you so much for just making those Youtube videos. I saw them and was so relieved to find that I really wasn't alone. Just knowing that there were other Christians with Asperger's was so comforting, and I could really feel for your struggles about being awkward in church. Thanks so much for helping me along at a low point in my life. It's only naturally that I attempt to return the favor.