Her parents

[Stephen8]

Hi guys,

I'm new to the forums here so let me do a bit of an introduction.

I am 22 and about to graduate from University. Although I have not been raised in a Christian home, I have always been exposed to Christianity through my aunt's family. Anyway, since I used to follow my aunt's family to church, I have always known in my heart that I would one day find God and accept Jesus into my heart. A few years ago however, I kinda fell out of touch with all that with work and school being as tough as it is (I know... no excuse).

Anyway, my problem is I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 1 and a half years. We've known each other since high school.

She's taught me so many things and I feel like I've taught her many things. We build off each others strength really. She even convinced me to find God and rebuild my relationship with Him.

Everything between us is always fine but the problem is that her parents seem to think that we're wrong for each other.

From what she tells me, her parents don't like that I am not as committed to God as they are and that I don't spend enough time with her. In short, they think I'm wrong for her.

In my opinion, this cannot be further from the truth. I don't know what I'm missing here. I feel that I have made strides to get to know God more, and I feel that I do spend enough time with my girlfriend and Im not doing enough for her. (I missed her concert last Christmas and apparently that didn't go over so well. I had plans I couldn't back out of...) Her mother also thinks that my intentions are questionable (eg. I am cheating or I don't actually care about her). This is also not true. I could not be more devoted to her.

She is torn because she, like I, believe we are totally right for each other. We would do anything for each other. I'm going over to talk to her mother this week. Try to communicate my intentions.

Anyway, I guess I would like a little insight from you guys.

Thanks very much for reading!

Stephen

Cliffs:
-girlfriends parents believe we are wrong for each other.
-girlfriend and I both want to stay together
-meeting with her mother later this week

 

[explodingboy]

Cliffs:
-girlfriends parents believe we are wrong for each other.
-girlfriend and I both want to stay together
-meeting with her mother later this week

Well, Gf parents don't like me much most of the time of late. Used to get on fairly well with them but we had some differences of opinion that makes getting allong with them rather difficult now (ie: on almost 3 occasions now they have deliberatly tried to break up the relationship between me and my Gf, and in particularly nasty emotional blackmaily ways.)

Now I realize that I don't have the whole Christian thing going in my favor these days but I can still offer advice, at least I try anyway.

Parents offer advice and thats the way it should stay. I assume your GF is around your age too, so really she has all the adult rights to make up her own mind on issues as to who she dates or not. In an ideal world you wan't your parents to accept who you choose but parents can be particularly picky and sometimes they just need to be ignored and given time to come to terms with it all. (Although sometimes love makes you do daft things so the picky parents help counter balance, but it is best kept as a counter balance rather than dictating driver.)

To try and curb my ramblings, I'll cover all response in one go.
If you and your Gf want to stay together and really believe that your right for each other in the long run, then thats what you need to tell her parents. Explain your honest intentions, and remind them that although the decision is entirely between you and Gf you would like to have there support/approval/blessings/etc. Rationaly, talk through anything that is concerning them, and really let them feel like what they say is being heard even if it is just being taken into consideration and not necisserily the final decision.

(apollogise for the spelling near the end, beer making me forget words again. )

 

[peanutbutter12]

Well, you're taking the right steps and meeting them head on instead of avoiding it. Have a good talk with her parents and maybe they will see how committed you truly are.

Not much else can be said.

 

[JasperJackson]

Is God at the centre of your relationship? Have you accepted Jesus into your heart? What is of most importance in your life?

If your answers are "yes" "yes" and "God". Anything else and your not right for each other, at least not yet.

 

[waxlion10]

Letting her parents get to know you better could help (I'm not sure how well you already know them) so they can see, firsthand, your commitment to their daughter and to the Lord.

Remember that they are parents who are simply trying to make sure their daughter wants/gets nothing less than God's best. Especially when it comes to a life partner.

In the end, however, you must be yourself. You cannot force her parents to change their minds. Hopefully they will have open, prayerful hearts, but you can't do any magic dance or work out a magic formula to win them over. Keep striving after the Lord and placing Him first, keep adoring and caring for your wonderful girlfriend, and keep your own heart and mind open to her parents and also to anything God may have in store for you, either as an individual or as a couple along with your girlfriend.


I've been in your spot before. It's not fun. PM box always open. Blessings to you and your gf!

 

[dobieman0488]

respect her parents and end it. you'll both move on to find families you both fit into.