Helping a Friend

jut199 · Aug 18, 2010

I have a friend who is going down the wrong road with drinking, partying, sex and so on. I don't want to judge and say you shouldn't do this or that, but at the same time I want to say, "hey, did you forget about God or what?" I don't live close to this person (I moved away), so I can't really do a whole lot, but talk. Or, do I just let it be and just pray for this person even though I already do that.
It hurts my heart a lot to know this person whom I care for is no longer living the Christian life. We use to go to church every week together and read the bible a lot together. We both cut out music and dvd's that had cursing and I know this person's heart is so pure, but since this person had a certain event happen, it seems like all faith is lost. I tried at one time to point some stuff out, however, I quickly got the don't judge me response. It's frustrating and it hurts really, really bad. Any help would be awesome!

RobertMerton · Aug 18, 2010

have a read over this article
Should Christians Judge?

PROPHECYKID · Aug 18, 2010

I am sure that article would help allot but we Christians bring that upon ourselves allot. We misuse the whole idea of Judging to mean we can't point out sin and direct someone to a better way. Folks like Joel Osteen who appear on Larry King Live and say keep saying over and over that he can't be the judge when asked if Atheist can be saved and people who do not believe in Jesus. When Christians supposed to be pointing out the right way we are busy saying that we can't judge. The bible says that all scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for (and focus on these 2 things) REPROOF and CORRECTION IN RIGHTEOUSNESS. To reprove would be to correct and to point out error.

Now to the specific situation with your friend. This is someone who already knows the truth but has lost faith. If your attempts to lead that friend onto the right path is met with resistance then there is not much you can do after that besides pray. But be a friend. Someday that friend will realize the mistake they made and will need you. Maybe just have ordinary conversations and maybe bring up current issues in the world and use it to bring up spiritual topics. Maybe you can try to talk about God without saying anything about the life he/she is living. It may not work, maybe you tried before. But my advice would be to be a friend and to pray.

jut199 · Aug 18, 2010

PROPHECYKID said:
I am sure that article would help allot but we Christians bring that upon ourselves allot. We misuse the whole idea of Judging to mean we can't point out sin and direct someone to a better way. Folks like Joel Osteen who appear on Larry King Live and say keep saying over and over that he can't be the judge when asked if Atheist can be saved and people who do not believe in Jesus. When Christians supposed to be pointing out the right way we are busy saying that we can't judge. The bible says that all scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for (and focus on these 2 things) REPROOF and CORRECTION IN RIGHTEOUSNESS. To reprove would be to correct and to point out error.

Now to the specific situation with your friend. This is someone who already knows the truth but has lost faith. If your attempts to lead that friend onto the right path is met with resistance then there is not much you can do after that besides pray. But be a friend. Someday that friend will realize the mistake they made and will need you. Maybe just have ordinary conversations and maybe bring up current issues in the world and use it to bring up spiritual topics. Maybe you can try to talk about God without saying anything about the life he/she is living. It may not work, maybe you tried before. But my advice would be to be a friend and to pray.

You nailed it with that and that is what hurts so much. To know that one day my friend will realize the mistakes and have probably a lot of regret. I just wish I could keep that from happening. However, it is out of my control. I will keep praying daily for my friend.

Scorponok · Aug 18, 2010

I was a lot like your friend not too long ago. I wasn't into partying or anything much like that but my life was going in the wrong direction. The only thing that remained consistent in my life was feeling alone. Your friend may be feeling the same.

Letting it go and not bringing up how you feel their life is going wrong and deciding to just pray for them is great but maybe if they know they have a friend out there things could go better for them. They could realize their mistakes and bad choices sooner without ruining a lot more of their life.

I would have loved for a friend to have come up to me and said "Things are different but I'm still here and will still be here no matter what you do or what you choose to do". And then actually be there to hear me out and not judge me but HELP me.

The feeling of alone is what sometimes keeps us clinging to the wrong choices because there are more options for "friends" into the things we shouldn't be than those who are are on the right path. Sometimes remaining with the wrong crowds and going in the wrong direction becomes a comfort than to be alone and it will go on until you either hit a bottom with it all or accept that being alone isn't so bad.

But this person has a friend, they just need to know it and be reminded of it.

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