I know you'll probably think i'm a pushover for being a guy and having an ED but I need real help. I thought i'd got over it a while back but it's coming back. I don't know what do to. I felt really big after having just a cup of hot chocolate and i've got back to counting calories again. I never purged but I used to binge and starve to try and get me down to 60 (I was 5'11 at the time, it would have made me clinically anorexic) but I stopped at 63 because I went to counselling. I used to go 24 hours without eating then purging and it ruined me. I went 50 hours once and it took it out of me again. I don't want to do that again. I'm dreading looking on the scale again - i'll probably weigh 80/90 kg and I don't want to weigh that much. I only feel OK now because i'm hungry. Whenever I eat I automatically seem to feel down. If i'm hungry it just seems to kill the feeling of nothing inside. Please, does anyone have any advice?