I am glad to have found this page. I have been feeling very alone. I have struggled with eating since I was a teenager and I am 28 now. I have gotten worse and better a lot of times. I got quite poorly last year. Think it was triggered by me being made redundant. My husband was studying and we couldn't manage so we had to move into my parents house. I had started the whole not eating/purging cycle. I got really desperate and went to a healing centre where they prayed for me and I really thought I was healed and I was for about a month but as soon as I went home it came back again. I kind of managed to get on top of it and I now have a good part time job and we have our own flat again so things are going well. But I have started to make myself sick again and I am cutting back on food. I feel very tired of things and angry at myself for being so ungrateful. I keep crying suddenly and don't know why. I have moved location 3 times in the last year and now although things are on the up I can't understand why I feel down. I am a bit scared of messing up my job I suppose and I haven't made any real friends as such here. I don't want to talk about this stuff to anyone that I just meet and I feel that if I talk to older friends I will have let them down by being ill again and it must be so BORING as I am bored by myself. All I feel like doing is sleeping. And I feel like I have let God down. I am so tired of fighting this all the time. Do you think it is possible to actually be totally free of it?
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Nan1
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Welcome.
And God bless you for finding the courage to talk about your situation here. I think the million dollar question is what you presented...can anyone be totally free from it? The bible says "all things are possible through Christ Jesus" so that answer would lead me to believe yes you can! If we're not free of it, then we must be comforted by the Holy Spirit and find ways to cope in the world we live in. Coping skills will be your best friend next to Jesus and a support system.
You have put a lot of pressure on you which might explain your tailspin into your ED. It it GREAT that you're becoming aware of what may trigger you (ie home, not wanting to mess up at work, etc.). The plain fact of the matter is we all stumble and fall. We need to not beat ourselves up, but dust ourselves off and start again. My personal opinion is that we aren't really starting but continuing in the journey. Sometimes it's hard and sometimes it's manageable. I highly encourage you to find someone close to you to support you in this time. I often hear from girls/women that they don't want to say anything, but once they do confide it's like putting light in a darkened room. It can be liberating (along with a little scary).
People here on the forum do understand and go through what you're going through. You are not alone.
In Christ,
Nan
And God bless you for finding the courage to talk about your situation here. I think the million dollar question is what you presented...can anyone be totally free from it? The bible says "all things are possible through Christ Jesus" so that answer would lead me to believe yes you can! If we're not free of it, then we must be comforted by the Holy Spirit and find ways to cope in the world we live in. Coping skills will be your best friend next to Jesus and a support system.You have put a lot of pressure on you which might explain your tailspin into your ED. It it GREAT that you're becoming aware of what may trigger you (ie home, not wanting to mess up at work, etc.). The plain fact of the matter is we all stumble and fall. We need to not beat ourselves up, but dust ourselves off and start again. My personal opinion is that we aren't really starting but continuing in the journey. Sometimes it's hard and sometimes it's manageable. I highly encourage you to find someone close to you to support you in this time. I often hear from girls/women that they don't want to say anything, but once they do confide it's like putting light in a darkened room. It can be liberating (along with a little scary).
People here on the forum do understand and go through what you're going through. You are not alone.
In Christ,
Nan
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Of course it's possible to be free of it I know exactly how you feel, I was in your shoes a few years ago. I felt so alone, I hated myself, my goal was to look good by any means neccessary. I look back in the past and I try to think of why I made those choices, the choices of dying to fit in. I guess I wanted acceptance from people, and back then I didn't even think of God and I didn't know that He loves me for who I am.
Right now I don't really think about how I look. The body is just clothing for the soul. I try and concentrate on the qualities of my soul, and how to improve them. And I look unto Christ for that.
But if I didn't suffer all those times back in the day, then I would have never looked for God or found Christ which lead me to be saved. I would have still lived in ignorance and still sinned, not caring for the sake of others.
Suffering produces perseverence, and its' work must finish so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything. Now I'm not saying that I want you to suffer or anything. I want you to get out of it of course. And I guess you have to look deeper within yourself and see the motivations of you putting yourself through the pain that an ED brings.
I think we all succomb to the standards of society that is potrayed in the media. We admire and envy how the beautiful celebrities look. We want to be not only accepted, but welcomed by other people. We want our self-esteem back, we want love back.
I think the best place to look for that love is in God and Christ. Search and you will find, ask and you will recieve. Have faith in your prayers that you will be healed, because of course, you will
God bless,
I know exactly how you feel, I was in your shoes a few years ago. I felt so alone, I hated myself, my goal was to look good by any means neccessary. I look back in the past and I try to think of why I made those choices, the choices of dying to fit in. I guess I wanted acceptance from people, and back then I didn't even think of God and I didn't know that He loves me for who I am. Right now I don't really think about how I look. The body is just clothing for the soul. I try and concentrate on the qualities of my soul, and how to improve them. And I look unto Christ for that.
But if I didn't suffer all those times back in the day, then I would have never looked for God or found Christ which lead me to be saved. I would have still lived in ignorance and still sinned, not caring for the sake of others.
Suffering produces perseverence, and its' work must finish so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything. Now I'm not saying that I want you to suffer or anything. I want you to get out of it of course. And I guess you have to look deeper within yourself and see the motivations of you putting yourself through the pain that an ED brings.
I think we all succomb to the standards of society that is potrayed in the media. We admire and envy how the beautiful celebrities look. We want to be not only accepted, but welcomed by other people. We want our self-esteem back, we want love back.
I think the best place to look for that love is in God and Christ. Search and you will find, ask and you will recieve. Have faith in your prayers that you will be healed, because of course, you will
God bless,
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pixieprincess
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you can recover from this. at one time in my life, i almost became anorexic. its scary. but just lean on God AND your friends, because they can support you and help you on the road to recovery.
Christ is always there,
pixieprincess
Christ is always there,
pixieprincess
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Christdefinesme
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Beth1,
Yes, you can be free. Doesn't mean you won't be tempted, but the Lord
can break you free from bondage. It takes time, and effort, and ups
and downs, though. It is a journey. But you NEED people around you to
talk with and be accountable to. And, you should definitely get into some
kind of counselling, it sounds like you are depressed (which goes hand in
hand with most eds), and you NEED some good prayer, and time in the
WORD, you need the Lord to help you change your MIND, and that mind needs some good healing. Take care, I'll pray for you.
Yes, you can be free. Doesn't mean you won't be tempted, but the Lord
can break you free from bondage. It takes time, and effort, and ups
and downs, though. It is a journey. But you NEED people around you to
talk with and be accountable to. And, you should definitely get into some
kind of counselling, it sounds like you are depressed (which goes hand in
hand with most eds), and you NEED some good prayer, and time in the
WORD, you need the Lord to help you change your MIND, and that mind needs some good healing. Take care, I'll pray for you.
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blessedmomof5
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No wonderful words of wisdom, but wanted you to know i will pray for you, and i will be in thoughts......may the Lord keep you safe.
Denise
Denise
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Aww sweetie I hear your cries! At 26yrs and 12yrs of anorexia I too wondered if full recovery or recovery in general were ever possible, but I can loudly proclaim that it is! I do not claim to have recovered in full yet, but I am walking in the very real possibility and hope of this. For the first time in many many years I have gone 4 months behaviour free and have finally reached a near-normal weight. Behaviourally things are under control but i'm aware that i'm yet to uncover those underlying beliefs I have about myself, the hurts, fears, and rejections, yet I do not doubt that in God's strength I can overcome these and triumph to claim the life I have been created for. I am going in to one of the Mercy Ministry homes in Australia in less than three weeks now, and it is here where these difficult issues will be addressed. I am excited, scared, nervous etc about this next step, but if it means I will find freedom both in and of myself then it has to be worth it. I would encourage you to seek out counselling in your new town, and if possible find and read the book Be Ye Transformed by Chuck and Nancy Missler- this book is on the understanding of God's Truth and without it's principles i'd have not reached this place today.
Much love
Sharee xoxo
Much love
Sharee xoxo
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Thank you so much for your encouragement and sharing, it really helps. I have recently moved and don't know many people in the church I have been going to but I have taken the step to ask my pastor how I can pray confidentially with someone and he is going to sort it out for me. I know its a little step but it's something.
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