Help with prayer time?

[Momzilla]

I'm trying to get my older son (3 1/2) to say bedtime prayers. However, I have a very difficult time getting him to settle down to prayers. I don't want to force him to do it, because I think that would do more harm than good. But I also think he's old enough to settle himself down and have a brief prayer time before bed.

Has anyone else encountered this problem? Am I expecting too much?

 

[Tangnefedd]

Please don't make an issue of this he is only three, you can't possibly expect him to have his own prayer time! It is fine for you to say a very brief prayer over him before he goes to sleep. Children of that age don't have much concept of God and why they should pray to him!!!

 

[clairysage]

When my son was small I was kind of "away from God", but with my daughter who is nearly 20 months, I usually say a little prayer when I'm cuddling her in the rocking chair before she goes into her cot. I talk about our day and thank God for the good things that have happened and ask his help if things have been difficult, etc - just simple stuff. I hope that as I continue to do this, when she is old enough, she will join in.
With my son, who's now 5, it would be very strange for him to pray himself. He's not been exposed to praying enough, if you know what I mean. I try and pray with him sometimes, but don't push it as that can have the opposite effect than the one I want! I'm trying to make him see how praying is normal at any time (not just bed time) and if something happens when we're out in the car, like when we saw a nasty accident, I said - I think I need to have a word with God, and said a quick prayer asking God to look after the people who had the accident.

Hope this is making sense - to summarise, I feel that it is important to show our children how normal and helpful prayer is to us, and pray with them, but I wouldn't expect them to pray on their own, unless I had prayed with them for years and they felt ready.

Clairy

 

[Tangnefedd]

It is fine to talk about God and Jesus in a friendly sort of way. Too often God is portrayed like the bogeyman under the bed, who will get you if you step out of line. That definitely is not helpful.

I remember my paternal grandmother, not a very empathetic woman, telling me at two years old that naughty little girls went to hell! She gave a graphic description of what hell was like. I was scared stiff and had nightmares. I think that is child abuse!

 

[HeatherJay]

When my son was small I was kind of "away from God", but with my daughter who is nearly 20 months, I usually say a little prayer when I'm cuddling her in the rocking chair before she goes into her cot. I talk about our day and thank God for the good things that have happened and ask his help if things have been difficult, etc - just simple stuff. I hope that as I continue to do this, when she is old enough, she will join in.
With my son, who's now 5, it would be very strange for him to pray himself. He's not been exposed to praying enough, if you know what I mean. I try and pray with him sometimes, but don't push it as that can have the opposite effect than the one I want! I'm trying to make him see how praying is normal at any time (not just bed time) and if something happens when we're out in the car, like when we saw a nasty accident, I said - I think I need to have a word with God, and said a quick prayer asking God to look after the people who had the accident.

Hope this is making sense - to summarise, I feel that it is important to show our children how normal and helpful prayer is to us, and pray with them, but I wouldn't expect them to pray on their own, unless I had prayed with them for years and they felt ready.

Clairy

I think that's a really positive way to do things, Clairy.


Also, I agree, Tang. No innocent child should have to fear for their immortal soul...especially since I believe ALL children are covered by grace.


At 3, maybe you could kneel down with him and sort of lead his prayer time. Or teach him a simple nursery rhyme type prayer (Now I lay me down to sleep...) and then say it with him. And then maybe do some God Blesses (God Bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy, etc).

At that age, I think he'd be quite an exceptional child if he settled down to prayer time on his own. But, if you incorporate it into a bedtime ritual, then it might be much more effective. Get into PJ's, cuddle up in his bed and read him a story, and then kneel with him and say a simple prayer.

I definitely agree that it's important to teach them (by example) how to pray and that it's not something to be ashamed of, no matter where you are.

Love, Heather

 

[Tangnefedd]

I don't think kneeling necessary, is it?

 

[HeatherJay]

I don't think kneeling necessary, is it?

Well, no, I don't guess so. We don't really kneel...we usually just bow our heads and hold hands while we're sitting on the bed. I guess kneeling beside the bed is just a traditional thing. LOL, with my daughter's room, you'd be hard pressed to find a clean spot to kneel in, anyway.

Love, Heather

 

[Momzilla]

At 3, maybe you could kneel down with him and sort of lead his prayer time. Or teach him a simple nursery rhyme type prayer (Now I lay me down to sleep...) and then say it with him. And then maybe do some God Blesses (God Bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy, etc).

At that age, I think he'd be quite an exceptional child if he settled down to prayer time on his own. But, if you incorporate it into a bedtime ritual, then it might be much more effective. Get into PJ's, cuddle up in his bed and read him a story, and then kneel with him and say a simple prayer.

That's exactly what we do (or try to do), in fact. Stories, then prayers (him & me kneeling next to the bed--short compline prayer, God blesses, and then we say thanks for whatever he wants to say thanks for, like pillow, and kitties, and sand), then lullabies. It's just frustrating because even when he settles down for stories, he often starts bouncing around again when it's time for prayers. Maybe its the transition from cuddling on the bed to kneeling beside the bed... I'll try staying put and see if that works better for him.

As for teaching kids that young to pray... I would never, ever threaten him with damnation if he didn't do it. But, he's certainly not too young to understand that he can talk to God whenever he wants and that it's important to set aside time to talk to God. He "helps" me say my morning prayers, too, even sometimes repeating the words after me.

 

[Tangnefedd]

It's just frustrating because even when he settles down for stories, he often starts bouncing around again when it's time for prayers

The poor little love is only three, I would be really worried if he was mine and wasn't bouncing up and down, that is what little lads do. You can't expect him to have a proper reverence at his age, I would be surprised if God expected it either.

 

[HeatherJay]

It's just frustrating because even when he settles down for stories, he often starts bouncing around again when it's time for prayers

The poor little love is only three, I would be really worried if he was mine and wasn't bouncing up and down, that is what little lads do. You can't expect him to have a proper reverence at his age, I would be surprised if God expected it either.

LOL, I would agree. I'm sure God is just as pleased with his joy and happiness as He would be with a nice quiet well mannered prayer.

 

[Kelly]

you'd be hard pressed to find a clean spot to kneel in, anyway.

Heh heh...no kidding. On the occasions where my daughter (5) falls alseep in the living room, I carry her up the stairs to bed. I shuffle through her room as to not step on a little teacup or other ouchy bit.

 

[mamaneenie]

With my son who is 27 mths, I just sit on the edge of the bed and say a short prayer. He has a few books with prayers in them that live in the loungeroom for us to read throughout the day. I even caught him "reading" one the other day, saying "help me God" I was quite impressed.

We usually just read from his baby Bible together and then I say a short prayer for him. Sometimes I also let him listen to worship music as he goes to sleep.

 

[psychoceramic]

my daughter is seven, she has been saying prayers and reading the word (with our help and support) since she was four. (we have joint custody with her mom, who doesnt believe in God and doesnt see to it that any type of beliefs (except the exact oppisite of ours) is shown to our daughter)

Des has been reading since she was four and we have alway made sure that she read the bible before going to bed....and that she says a prayer before bed.. even at seven she is a jumpy mass of engery at bed time and at first we were to the point of saying ok.... forget it lets not work on praying at bedtime.... but anytime we pray morning noon or night or when she is in sunday school she is a wiggle giggle or moving.
We tried the kneeling thing... and she would just kick or hit us with her feet.
We tried standing with our arms raised to the Lord but that just has her twisting around and then we remembered that the bible says David danced before the Lord when he prayed and worshipped GOD. so we saw that it was ok for her to move and bounce while praying....

we are still teaching her how to revere GOD for who He is and what HE is and has and is going to Do in our lives and it is fun to see ehr show her heart to God when she prays. And that sometimes we all need to just be quiet and sit befroe God and wait on Him.


One thing we did was find a little order that we started in... first thanks.... then forgivness, then pray for loved ones, then for ourselves then thanks again. this gave us and her a structured way and a known way to pray to God, now that she is getting older and has more on her mind.. we have shown her that yes it is Good to pray for forgivness and to thank GOD and to pray for family and friends and ourselves.. but sometimes the LORD just puts something on our hearts to pray for and we should just pray for that.

She is very much a prayer warrior according to her School Teachers and to us, she is praying for a new country every month and for persecuted Christians every where.

There are night when prayers are thanks and forgivenss and then Bless mom and dad and keep me as ai sleep, and Amen. We let her know that those are ok also, that God just wants to talk to us and wants us to bring all we do and desire befroe HIm and i had to learn that a seven year old doesnt desire all that i do for her and that she desires so much more than i want for myself. it is amazing and awesome to say the least.


well thats my two cents,
In HIm,
psycho