Help! Sinful friends

[zorrokass3]

st this message.

 

[synger]

This is a great place to post such a question. Many of us have been there, and faced similar concerns.

Scripture tells us not to be conformed to the world -- or as some say, we are "in the world, but not of it." For some, this means a complete change of everything in their lives as they grow closer to God's will. But we are also called to live our lives as a witness to the hope that is within us. Sometimes the only "preaching" people ever hear is from their Christian friends. You shouldn't give that opportunity up lightly.

You may need to prayerfully discern what His will is for you in these matters. You have shared time and events with these friends, and you still love and care for them -- perhaps in some ways you love them even more now, because you can see the sadness of their lives.

But don't be fooled. Even new bright-shiny Christian friends will have doubts and sins. That is part of this life.

I guess I'm saying that while I agree with your mentor that you will probably want to seek out godly friendships, so you can be strengthened and nurtured in your Christian walk, you may also be called to remain friends with some of your non-Christian friends. God can use them to challenge you, and urge you to learn more about your faith. And He can use you to minister to them and teach them, as well. It's a two-way street.

Let me give you an example. My husband and I were very active in a sinful lifestyle when we were newly married. We were Chrsitians, but our sin threw up barriers to God's teaching in our lives. Most of our closest friends from that time are neo-Pagan and polyamorous, or at least accepting of such lifestyles. We are the "token Christians" at some of our gatherings.

The questions and challenges they threw our way really drove us to our knees, looking for answers to their inquiries. With God's grace, we learned much more about the history and doctrines of the Church than we probably ever would have had we stayed safely ensconced behind church walls and didn't get out "into the world."

That being said, there were times when the challenges and temptations became too much to handle. And that's when the second part of it kicked in -- we ALSO needed to cultivate new, strongly Christian friends, whom we could learn from and be strengthened and challenged by, and whom we could in turn support and comfort.

In my opinion, it's not an either-or thing -- "either my old friends or my new ones". It's a both-and thing. You definitely need Christian friends and mentors to help you grow in your Christians walk. But you also may want to share the joy you have with those non-Christian friends in your life.

As to how to interact with your old friends... God will lead you, with the knowledge you already have of them, to say what needs to be said. If you want to learn how to "defend the faith" in more detail, I would suggest going to the "Christian Apologetics" forum. (Apologetics is not making an apology for the faith, but defending and explaining it.)

And I would suggest that you prayerfully ask God to give you gentle, loving opportunities to talk with your friends about the sections of their lifestyles and beliefs that you find troubling.

Will you convert them? Only God knows that, for only He can give someone the faith to believe. I'd be lying if I told you that any of my pagan friends have converted to Christianity. However, they understand the gospel much better than they did, and they do not have the same knee-jerk opposition to "organized religion" that they once did. Their hearts have softened somewhat over the years. It is my fervent prayer that God will in time bring them to a saving knowledge of His love and grace.

 

[TransformedByGrace]

Well, first off, i applaud you for asking other Christians about such an important subject!
As a Christian, you have an understanding of following Christ with your words and actions that an unsaved person does not fully understand. You had one question that popped out at me:
Do i have the right to tell him off about that?

As a Christian, we are called to hold other Christians accountable by telling them that they are making bad choices that could lead them away from God. Somebody who is not a Christian would not understand the basis for telling them that they are making bad choices, because they don't use the Bible as a guide for what is wrong and right. In other words, a friend who is not saved would only stop a behavior because it is hurting themselves or somebody that they care about. A Christian would stop a behavior because God has told us to stop. It is my feeling that you would only be able to influence an unsaved friend who is sinning if they were hurting somebody directly by doing that sin, or they became saved and then understood why a Christian wouldn't want to sin (Because God tells us not to). Your best plan of action with all of these friends would be to invite them to church with you or talk with them about God and the way that He has changed your life.
Your mentor is right about finding Christian friends. The people that you spend your time around will always influence your thinking and behavior for better or for worse. This is always going to happen. As Christians, spending time with people who encourage us to walk closer to God and follow that example themselves will strengthen our walk with the Lord and help us for the better. On the other hand, if the majority of your time is spent with people who are not uplifting and encouraging you in your Christian walk, the harder time you will have staying close to God.
The right approach would be to make it number one priority to make friends with people who are close to God, and then minister to your unsaved friends about the change the God has made in your life. Remember that you aren't able to judge your unsaved friends for the sins that they commit, because they don't have any basis for understanding why they wouldn't do those things. What you do have is a much more influential tactic, showing them God's love in you by caring about them and letting them know that there is a better way to live. We have all sinned, the only difference is that we has asked Christ to forgive us and we begin living by God's laws now.
PS.. It should be your number one priority (before dealing with unsaved friends) to get a close knit relationship with a few strong Christians who can help you with questions and keep you strong in your faith, while you help them grow by being their close Christian friend.

I commend you on your choice to live right with God! It is definitely a choice well worth making!

And any time you have a question, we are all here to help you with anything, big or small. Just post where ever you think it fits.

Kenny

 

[VincentBlack]

I've finally made the decision to accept god into every aspect of my life. But I'm having a few problems.

I have a good number of old friends who simply don't fit with the christian ethic and I don't know what to do about our friendship.

Aimee: an old school friend, used to sleep around but has recently got a new boyfriend Jarrod, he's a Jehovah's Whitness and she's decided to covert! Even started to go to prayer goups etc. What do I do? in some respects she's leading a better life (not sleeping around etc) but i worry about her joining a group like that.

Christian: (odd name for a non-christian i know!) he's gay and currently is in a open relationship with a guy named Mark, this means he can sleep with whoever he wants so long as he only does it once with each guy. Do i have the right to tell him off about that? What should i say to him?

Dariya: She's into drugs (extacy, pot, ritalin etc) nothing hardcore but deserves a mention. Plus I lived with her last year, I count her as one of my true friends.

I really just want some advice, my mentor says i should find new christian friends but I don't want to loose my old ones!!! What should I do??? I don't even know if this is the right place to post this message.

Well zorrokass3, let me tell you about two of my friends -

-NOTE: names changed for certain reasons-

DAVE: Is a Satanist, yet also my best friend. He smokes Pot and drinks heavily. Likes Black Metal, and plays in a Trash/Death metal band. Furthermore he has an anger like an inferno, he believes in survival of the fittest and that if your weak then that is your fault.

JAMES: Also a Satanist and is a member of a Black Metal band. Also a heavy drinker and at ties isn't very forgiving about my Christianity. Has NO interest in The Good News and thinks that because I am out numbered I should "give up my faith"


Should I give up on them because I am a Christian? No! I think that these guys need the Good News more than anyone else... especially Dave. The fact is that you are know in a position to directly or in my case INDIRECTLY effect them by as Paul says in 1Timothy 14:12 "Be an example to all in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith and your purity”

I often take chances to talk to Dave about God and The Word, however I approach the subject gentle as not to push or offend. I try to act around them the way Jesus would, after all if Jesus ministered to Tax Collectors and Prostitutes, why should I not minister the same way. Heck i even got Dave to come to my Baptism!

I think you SHOULD try to find some friends who are of like mind about God but you should not give up on your old friends, they maybe the ones who need the most. You may find (like I do) that God will put you into a position where you can minister to them.

“Go and announce to them that the Kingdom of Heaven is near. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy and cast out Demons. Give as freely as you have received.” Matthew 10:7 – 8

At the end of the day we are ALL sinners, you me, Dave, Aimee, and Sin can manifest it's way in different shapes and forms. Just be careful not only how you approach the subject of God around them, but also be careful that you have a fellowship of Christians around you for Advice and Prayer. Ask God to guide you and I stress the point that you meet Christians your age help build you faith!

I hope my rambling helps you and remember that God's love applies to Drug addicts, Homosexuals, Satanists, as well as all other types Sinners. Pray for you friends that they will find God, ask others to pray for them, but also pray for yourself, pray that God may use you in a way that will reach your friends not only physically but also spiritually. I wish you the best of luck with your walk sister.

God bless you and The Spirit guides you!

Vince

 

[zorrokass3]

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[TransformedByGrace]

I'm confused. I posted this same question in the advice forum (i figured it was a better place to put a question like this one) and got a completely different responce, they told me to drop them or minister to my friends and if they didn't convert then I should drop them.

How can I have gotten such different responses???

Can anyone help me with ways I could approach/explain to each of my friends where I think they could be more righeous. I'm really worried about Aimee, if I tell her that I am against her religion she'll call me bigoted and say that her religion is christian as well!!!!!

At least with the others I can explain that their ways aren't healthy.

ok, in the future let's keep it in 1 section, so we can build off of eachother's posts no harm done

For everyone else, here's a copy of the post made in the advice section:
"
Matthew 5:29-30:
29 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

This is referring to "Radical Amputation" in which anything that is holding you back, you must let go or "Cut it off" of your life.

2 Corinthians 6:14:
14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?

If you don't let go, they will hold you back. Don't let that happen.

My advice is to preach the Gospel to them. (Study it of course first. Gain Knowledge of God and right before each session you read the Bible, pray that you receive an understanding) Witness to them. If they convert, Awesome! Stay with those and continue teaching them. But, if they persecute you for what you say and don't listen, leave. "Shake off the dust from your feet." (Matt. 10:14)

Matthew 10:14:
14 And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet.

"


OK, now back to the issue at hand. Radical Amputation is mentioned once in the Bible, in parable form (meaning that it is a story that we learn a lesson from to apply it to a different area in our lives).

The problem with Radical Amputation in this case is that your unsaved friends are NOT holding you back in your faith. Therefore Radical Amputation is the wrong approach.
You unsaved friends are in fact, strengthening your walk by giving you a desire to minister.
Ministering to the unsaved is something that is undebatably founded in the Bible, something we are commanded to do, and is the right path in this instance.

I'm sorry for the confusing responses that you got from all over the forum. I'm going to contact a mod to remove the post in the Christian Advice area and stick with this original one.

Kenny

 

[DarkLegend28]

You can't make them believe the same things you do. It's their own choice. And just because they don't believe the same things you do doesnt mean you can't be friends with them. Push yourself to be that loving example of christ's love like God wants us to be. You can tell them about what you believe without shoving it down their throats and telling them that they are gonna go to hell for it. Jesus would never do that. However, a lot of christians do it anyways. They don't share christ's love and this leads non believers to assume us all to be nothing but hypocrites. I have so many friends who have strayed from their faith because of this very reason. Be the christian example among them. maybe one of them just might see how much more you have in God and decide to change their life for the better.

 

[Chocolatesa]

I've been wondering about this question myself and have been helped by everyone's responses. I also think we have to be careful to discern at what point our non-Christian friend start "holding you back in your faith", how much they influence us. Then we'll be able to decide, with God's help, whether to stay and minister to them, or cut ties with them for our own spiritual safety. Or possibly a compromise of the two, like seeing them less often, no longer doing certain activities, etc. God bless!

 

[dalej42]

I give you one new commandment, "Love one another."

Love your friends and show them a great life through Christ.

 

[visionary]

As with any friendship, the things in comman are the ground that keep the bond of friendship alive. If however the things that your friends are into, have no comon ground for which you in your new life in Him can share, it does get really difficult for you to meet and communicate.

In all fairness to your friendship you do need to witness the radical change and why of your life to them. It is their choice as to how they want to relate to you in your transformation. They will test you to see if you are for real. I would definitely find a serious study group, praying mentors, and social activities with believers to help you grow in your new found faith. I would also be looking to how you can remain a friend and not jepardize your relationship with the Lord. That will take a lot of prayer and patience, trust, and tolerance.

God has placed a void in everyman's heart for Him. He is the only one who can fill this inner need. Trust God that He is already been working on your friends salvation, and your prayers for them will do a lot, even if you do not see it right away. May God bless you with true believers who live their faith, who become your best new friends and help you live a new life in Christ. May God give you the gift of discernment so that you may hear His voice, see His hand in action, know His Will, and help your friends get to know Him and love Him too.

 

[Sketcher]

What you need to do is pray for your friends. Pray for God to draw them to Himself, and to prepare you to share the Good News with them. It may take a while.

I agree that you should find strong Christian friends who you can be open with in your faith, and who will be open to you. Having friends like that buoys your faith up, while hanging out only with the unsaved can bring you down. Out of love for your friends, I wouldn't just drop them unless they are really bringing you down. If they're inviting you to get drunk or get high or whatever, you should not join them in that. If you find yourself not being able to say no, then that is the time to drop them. Short of that, just dropping them would do more harm to your witness than good.

 

[sistakrista]

LOVE them, share your experiences with them, & PROTECT yourself!

 

[synger]

I'm confused. I posted this same question in the advice forum (i figured it was a better place to put a question like this one) and got a completely different responce, they told me to drop them or minister to my friends and if they didn't convert then I should drop them.

How can I have gotten such different responses???

The responses are similar, actually, because your options are limited. It all depends on the person you ask how they will emphasize the answer. You can:

1. Cultivate new Christian friends to the exclusion of your non-Christian friends,
2. Keep your non-Christian friends and not bother about Christian friends, or
3. Cultivate new Christian friends and retain your non-Christian friends

From the responses, most assume you'll do number 3, to one extent or another. And within the framework of that answer, we give various testimony and advice about how to do that and what to watch out for.

Having "hard-core" non-Christian (almost "anti" Christian) friends is never easy. It is especially not easy for a young Christian who is still learning about his faith. So you have warnings about that, and concerns and prayers from the people here who have been through terrible struggles with their non-believing friends.

However, most of us understand that having non-believing friends is just part of how God has called us to minister to a sinful, hurting world. Learning to share without condemning, to be loving without being overly judgemental (and the definition of "overly" is going to change relationship to relationship -- only you and God know how someone is going to take your words of concern), and to pray without being stifling are art forms that may take a whole lifetime to practice.

Can anyone help me with ways I could approach/explain to each of my friends where I think they could be more righeous. I'm really worried about Aimee, if I tell her that I am against her religion she'll call me bigoted and say that her religion is christian as well!!!!!

At least with the others I can explain that their ways aren't healthy.

With any belief system, the first thing I recommend is that you read up on it, so you have a basic understanding of what they believe, teach, and profess. The Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry (CARM) usually is a good place to start, and they have extensive articles about Jehovah's Witnesses. Apologeticsindex.com also has some detailed information.

From my limited understanding, Jehovah's Witnesses are not Trinitarian, specifically, they deny that Jesus is the son of God. One of the primary places where they differ from orthodox Christianity is in salvation -- the heart of the gospel. Jesus is both fully human and fully divine. That is how His sacrifice on the cross is effective for salvation. If He is not God, then the sacrifice means nothing, and we are not saved.

Christiananswers.net has a section on Witnessing to Jehovah's Witnesses. That may be handy for you as you prepare to talk with your friend. Remember that JWs believe that they are the protectors of the one true Church, and that we are misguided souls who have been duped into worshiping a pagan, three-headed god. Come to her with love, and fortify yourself liberally with prayer. God will give you the words to say to speak to her heart.

 

[tinka]

LOVE them, share your experiences with them, & PROTECT yourself!

PRAYING FOR YOU IN AGREEMENT WITH WHAT OUR SISTERS HAS SAID TO DO, YOUR WITNESS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO THEM, HOW ELSE WOULD THEY HEAR WITHOUT A PREACHER.
JESUS SAID GO INTO THE WORLD AND PREACH THE GOSPEL. WE ARE ALL A LIVING TESTOMONY OF JESUS.
PRAYING FOR GODS WILL TO BE DONE AMEN.

 

[dialee16]

If you friend who's into drugs tries to get you into it, ignore her and tell her off if she really pressure you. I would give here time to get over her addictions before you leave her. (if you decide to leave her)

As for your gay friend, i might suggest leaving him. Being gay isn't technicaly a sin, but being in a gay relationship is. If you think you can, tell him christians don't or shouldn't hate gays, but gay relationships are ungodly. He needs to prove his loyalty to god be resiting his gayness.

As for your friend who's becoming a jehovas witness, this could be a good thing. Her BF ovously opened her mine to new posibilties and now she might be able to be swayed to christianity easier than before. If you don;t want to convert her, than stick with her unless the sitchuation gets really serouis.

Keep in mind when you make your decisions that god sayed "Good and evil cannot coexist".

 

[TheCheat1]

I've finally made the decision to accept god into every aspect of my life. But I'm having a few problems.

I have a good number of old friends who simply don't fit with the christian ethic and I don't know what to do about our friendship.

Aimee: an old school friend, used to sleep around but has recently got a new boyfriend Jarrod, he's a Jehovah's Whitness and she's decided to covert! Even started to go to prayer goups etc. What do I do? in some respects she's leading a better life (not sleeping around etc) but i worry about her joining a group like that.

Christian: (odd name for a non-christian i know!) he's gay and currently is in a open relationship with a guy named Mark, this means he can sleep with whoever he wants so long as he only does it once with each guy. Do i have the right to tell him off about that? What should i say to him?

Dariya: She's into drugs (extacy, pot, ritalin etc) nothing hardcore but deserves a mention. Plus I lived with her last year, I count her as one of my true friends.

I really just want some advice, my mentor says i should find new christian friends but I don't want to loose my old ones!!! What should I do??? I don't even know if this is the right place to post this message.

Be there for them but also be intolerant, because some things are just stupid. Jesus didn't tolerate those things, but remember He was there for them (and us) when they (and we) came back to Him from those things.

Before reading on, be sure to pray about this and be open to God.

Aimee: Tell her exactly how you feel, how God feels about her converting, why Jehovah's Witnesses are fakes (I can give you some good resources if you need them), and make sure to do it in love. Tell her you love her, Jesus loves her, and you and He both don't want her going down this path.

Christian: Tell him what he's doing is wrong, but that you love him and so does God.

Dariya: Honestly? A 911 call would be the best option here. A trip to Christian rehab could help.

Make sure to not tolerate any of this behavior and never tell them it's OK that they're doing it. It isn't OK. Be loving but intolerant. Pray for your friends constantly and ask for God to bring wake-up calls.

God bless.

 

[Controverse]

I've finally made the decision to accept god into every aspect of my life. But I'm having a few problems.

I have a good number of old friends who simply don't fit with the christian ethic and I don't know what to do about our friendship.

Aimee: an old school friend, used to sleep around but has recently got a new boyfriend Jarrod, he's a Jehovah's Whitness and she's decided to covert! Even started to go to prayer goups etc. What do I do? in some respects she's leading a better life (not sleeping around etc) but i worry about her joining a group like that.

Christian: (odd name for a non-christian i know!) he's gay and currently is in a open relationship with a guy named Mark, this means he can sleep with whoever he wants so long as he only does it once with each guy. Do i have the right to tell him off about that? What should i say to him?

Dariya: She's into drugs (extacy, pot, ritalin etc) nothing hardcore but deserves a mention. Plus I lived with her last year, I count her as one of my true friends.

I really just want some advice, my mentor says i should find new christian friends but I don't want to loose my old ones!!! What should I do??? I don't even know if this is the right place to post this message.

I'm friends with a Satanist and a Buddhist who are somewhat anti-Christian in some ways, particularly my Buddhist friend who was very hateful and pushy toward me due to my faith (until his Buddhist teacher and sensei taught him that we Christians are not to be disrespected and we are all deserving of respect no matter our faith. Ironic, isn't it?).

Aimee
Alrighty, you should show her why the Johos are a bad group to be around - an example is that they pride themselves on their supposedly good works, but they have yet to realize that good works count for nothing. But honestly, would you rather have a non-Christian friend or a friend who is, as I like to call them, a "Warped Christian", such as a Joho?

Christian
He is not a Christian, so he is not subject to the same general moral structure as us. Understand that before you even attempt to talk to him of your concern for his homosexuality. The fact that he is in an open relationship makes it worse, however. If you must, caringly discuss keeping true to your partner in a relationship as well as the fact that sexually-spread diseases are gonna have a better chance of catching him if he continues to engage in an open relationship. Better he stick to his main partner than do it with others. It won't turn him off homosexuality, but it's a start. Personally, I'd wait for him to start the homosexuality conversation, and this will most likely be one along the lines of "I thought you'd object more soundly to my preference for guys"; this is an open window, so TAKE IT. But also be prepared to rely more on secular logic rather than Biblical logic, as it won't be of much use against a non-Christian. He'll be more accepting of a logical statement that mentions evolution not causing us or animals to evolve certain kinds of features to better accommodate homosexuality as a viable form of intimacy than a statement mentioning God's hatred of homosexuality.

Dariya
This should be simple enough to figure out but don't be condescending or too rough on her.

Hope this helps.

 

[Rowan]

Pray for them and love them (speaking as someone who has pagan friends).

You might want to get Dariya professional help, as well, or tell her family so they can. Drug use is just a slippery slope, and I'm sure you don't want her to get any deeper.

 

[heymikey80]

I've finally made the decision to accept god into every aspect of my life. But I'm having a few problems.

I have a good number of old friends who simply don't fit with the christian ethic and I don't know what to do about our friendship.

Good. Keep 'em as long as they do not interfere with your new life.

If they interfere, you'll need different counsel as to whether it's a significant problem or what. Your mentor should be able to help you work with people from this standpoint. If not, come back & we'll help you through.

In general: think about how you'd react under similar situations. See what you can do to help redeem. Don't try to create conflict. But don't avoid it if you think you can be convincing.

Talk with your mentor about the life events that make people open to the Gospel. Read the Beatitudes (Mt 5), I think that's one of the reasons why it's there. Maybe you could ask your mentor how would they approach each kind of Beatitudes person to tell them about the Gospel, if that person weren't a Christian. Give 'em a few days to get over the shock of your question and research it, though! I think I'd faint if one of my disciples asked me that.

Meanwhile, be a friend. Make comments that are openly Christian, and don't suppress them. But be compassionate. If they know they're going to Hell this way, there's little need for you to reiterate it. But confirm that's what God tells you, if they ask too.

Aimee: an old school friend, used to sleep around but has recently got a new boyfriend Jarrod, he's a Jehovah's Whitness and she's decided to covert! Even started to go to prayer goups etc. What do I do? in some respects she's leading a better life (not sleeping around etc) but i worry about her joining a group like that.

I believe JW's also consider extramarital sex to be a sinful lifestyle, not simply promiscuity. To me that triggers a possibility -- maybe Jarrod is not quite the convinced JW he seems to set out to be.

You can try introducing Jarrod (yes Jarrod) and with him, Aimee, to friends who can address this. This is at once a tough, tough issue and one that may help you grow. Don't let this be some kind of "project" for your friend. Surround them with Christians who will truly love them and be concerned for their salvation. Let their experiences change them.

You can pigeon-hole any new theology. But you can't pigeon-hole an experience of the love and grace of the Gospel.

There are the standard arguments regarding Trinity, their mistaken position on the Cross as Christ being an example we follow and our king and little more; there's the insular nature of JW's as well as their rejection of Christendom.

If you would like to have something that might sideswipe arguments and you're ... willing to dive deep with a mentor, I'd suggest Romans 10 and "who's God, who's the Lord" in this passage. The JW's New World Translation is particularly revealing here. But this passage has creamed so many arguments for me that I've little doubt left that Jesus is God.

Christian: (odd name for a non-christian i know!) he's gay and currently is in a open relationship with a guy named Mark, this means he can sleep with whoever he wants so long as he only does it once with each guy. Do i have the right to tell him off about that? What should i say to him?

I've the same issue, but with someone far less promiscuous.

If you have his confidence as a friend you can relate to him what the Bible says. Does he really not know, though? Do you need to tell him off?

Instead of telling him off -- there are other points. You care, you don't want to lose this friend. Explain that you care, and you want more than this lifetime with him around. That can sometimes catch people by surprise. Again, look for the opportunity. If he's just openly defiant against God, if he already knows, I wouldn't tell him off, no. But if he doesn't know how you see it, sure, point out to him that God says He won't accept this life in sin as okay (cf. 1 Cor 6).

God hasn't killed him yet. I don't see a reason you should seal in his judgment by telling him off, alienating him from the One Person Who can save him.

Be a friend. Yes, one suffering his sin to remain his friend, not an accepting or approving one of his sin, but someone who loves him. And ... you do understand that love doesn't imply lust, right?! I guess it's part of the confusion that homosexuality introduces.

Dariya: She's into drugs (extacy, pot, ritalin etc) nothing hardcore but deserves a mention. Plus I lived with her last year, I count her as one of my true friends.

Um, I assume you just mean it's recreational, not obsessive? Yet? It's gonna hurt her if continued longterm. Why is it there? What's the relational damage that put her into drug use?

"Plus ...!" Can you help her in some way that would draw her to see Christ? How strong is your relationship with her now? Is it a temptation? Is your relationship so strong that you don't think you can keep your distance if you increased the depth of your religion with her?

These are things to think about. Your thoughts don't need to come back to me, but they may help you and your mentor figure out this.

Btw, I hope you will draw together a larger group than just one mentor. A "prime" mentor is good. A group will allow you to see the Spirit at work in all of them, and then you can start to see what's personal preference, and what the Spirit is telling you.

I really just want some advice, my mentor says i should find new christian friends but I don't want to loose my old ones!!! What should I do??? I don't even know if this is the right place to post this message.

It's a great place for the question.

Yes. Do both. You'll need some immediate friends to consult when you need quick answers, let them in on things, learn trust, be accountable.

And I love Rowan's advice. Pray for them -- especially talk with God in your mind while you're around them, often He can give you insight into what you're asked to do.

 

[ephraimanesti]

I've finally made the decision to accept god into every aspect of my life. But I'm having a few problems.
n. Plus I lived with her last year, I count her as one of my true friends.

I really just want some advice, my mentor says i should find new christian friends but I don't want to loose my old ones!!!

SO WHAT I HEAR YOU SAYING THAT THAT YOU REALLY HAVEN'T YET ACCEPTED GOD INTO EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE.

It appears that you are shopping around to find a "mentor" who will tell you what you want to hear--rather than tell you what God wants you to hear.

"Sinful friends" is an oxymoron for a Christian.

ephraim