Help... *possible trig*

[ninetails390]

Ok, here goes...
Basically, for the last two days, I've been starving... I've barely eaten anything... I feel sick just looking at food. Just about every time I do eat, I end up purging within the next hour... My throat feels sooo sore and raw from throwing up and from my fingernails scratching it... I've purged, like, 4 times in the last two days... and I tried way more times than that, but didn't acually throw up... I feel awful...
It seems I've fallen seriously into an eating disorder... overnight...(literally) I've never been especially worried about my weight or anything... I've been feeling kind of guilty about my snacking on junk food, lately... but still...(I actually eat pretty healthy... I just fail to acnowladge that sometimes...)
I'm working on writing my mom a note explaining to her what's going on with me... I'm gonna leave it on her bedroom door so she can find it tomorrow morning... but, even though my mom is actually a mental health worker, I doubt she's gonna be of much help... other than opening up the opportunity for some sort of professional help...(other than what I already have, as I am currently being treated for depression already...)
I need some advice... or prayers... or comfort... or something... I'm a mess right now! Every part or my body hurts, it seems... Especially my stomach and back (which hurts because of my stomach... and probably from coughing and gaging so much)... and my throat, which is practically in shreads...
~Dane

 

[jen_soccer13]

Hi there sweetie. Boy do I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better or to help you. I am going through the same thing right now.
I think it is a very good think that you are telling your mom. Even if she can't help you too much, it is good to have someone there that knows what you are doing.
Everytime I am in the chat box you seem to be there and usually encouraging someone else. You are such a sweet person, and I don't want to see you going through this. Hopefully you and your mom can figure out what to do. If it is professional help maybe they will find out what is really bothering you.
I care about you and don't want to see you hurt by this. If you ever want to talk anytime just pm me. I may not have too much advice, but I am a good listener.
I am not so good at this whole prayer thing...however I will try to pray for you okay?
~Jennifer

 

[ninetails390]

Thank you so much, Jen...*weak *
Uhg... I just purged, again... My stomach really hurts, right now... I don't have a stomach ache, per say... My stomach just... hurts... I feel awful... Man, I hope I make it through this alright...
~Diane

 

[Andonissaved28]

Please go to a doctor immediately. I am a 16 year old male and I have suffered from an eating disorder and being anorexic. I spent 2 months down at Vanderbilt University at the medical center in Nashville Tennessee. It was no fun. I was scared to eat because I thought I was going to get fat. My doctor had to put a feeding tube down my throat. It was very uncomfortable and hurt my throat. I was away from all of my friends and family. I had the feeding tube for about 4 months. Then in January I got it out. You can do this!! I have confidence in you. You will be suprised of how much calories and food you need a day. Just eat when your hungry and stop when you get full. If you do this then I promise you that you will be ok. Thats what my doctors told me and they were right. I ate and I didn't get fat. So please take my advice. We can Fight This Together!! Now I eat a lot of things that I wouldn't have touched about five months ago and I am eating good. Guess what? No fat stomach!! So if I can do it then so can you. I will keep you in my prayers!! If you ever want to talk then you can PM anytime. GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS!!

 

[SarahB622]

I will say a prayer for you...I know what it's like to have to tell your parents something.... Dear heavenly father I pray for Diane Lord that you would guide her to make good decision, that you would help her mom to know what to do....please help her family to give her the support that she needs as she is going through a difficult time in her Life...I ask all this in Jesus Name AMEN...Diane always remember you are aprecious Child of God and he Loves you SOOO MUCH.....He doesn't want you to hurt yourself.....Hope all goes well let us know how everything turns out....

~Sarah~

 

[goldenviolet]

MY sweet baby nine ... i'm proud of you for seeing you needed mum.
when my kids first come to me with something serious. my mommy radar goes bananas. all my love and good intentions, and worry and upsetness that my child is suffering....
well, exsperts say that kids think it is bad. like they did something wrong;
but the truth is out and things can be worked at. i know mum and dad love you. if anyone is disappionted, it will be because they struggle with you.
you are being so brave and doing what is right... i am very proud of you!
i love you!

 

[ninetails390]

Thank you guys...s My mom talked to me about it this morning... She actually didn't overreact! She says that what I'm doing is actually just another form of self-injury, instead of an actual eating disorder... I think she's right... 'cause I don't worry about, you know, my appearance and weight... but this is still, like, way harder to deal with than what I've had before... I mean, what I did before left scars... cutting myself hurts... and leaves marks... purging tears my throat to shreads, burns it with stomach acid, and leaves my back, ribs , and stomach feeling like I was kicked by a horse...
I managed to eat some breakfast, though. I actually enjoyed eating, for once... that felt good. So far so good, today... though that may be because I'm half scred out of my wits because Mom says I'm gonna be in trouble if self-injure or purge anymore,instead of telling her something's wrong... I mean, yeah, that's a good way to keep me from doing it for a while, but if this is anything like what happened last summer with my cutting, it'll come back and hit me harder than ever in a couple months, no doubt...:o
~Diane

 

[jen_soccer13]

Well I am very glad that you are feeling better for now. I am very glad also that your mom cares so much for you to help you. Keep your head up..you will get by.

 

[SarahB622]

Glad to hear things are working out for you....

 

[goldenviolet]

Onnie loves you!!
yey!! i'm sooooo happy and proud of you!! Give mum a hug!!
God is loving!!

 

[ninetails390]

Aww man! :o I'm gonna be at home alone for a couple hours this evening... and I'm in an extremely sensitive mood on top of that... My mom and brother have been fighting, and a just ate, so I'm a little bit triggered right now... Can you guys please pray that I'll make it through the evening without purging? I feel awful...
~Diane

 

[goldenviolet]

*prayer*
you can do it!!
keep yourself busy sweetie!!
*big snuggle*

 

[ninetails390]

Aww, thank onnie... I suppose it's a bit late for that, though... I got waaay out of control, eating, tonight, after Mom left... I ate a ton of fruit snacks (three packs of them), a few carmel candies, a container of beef stroganoff and noddles, and drank an entire can of citrus punch... all within about a 5-7 minute period... I couldn't stop myself! :o Then, I felt really icky and purged again... Then, I weighed myself... I don't know quite why, but I did... and I weight a pound... yes, 1 pound, more than I had the night before... when I had weighed myself and discovered I was about 7 pounds less than my usual weight (a realization that actually scared me a bit)... Well, for some reason, something in my brain went "click" and I wentto the living room and began sprinting back and forth, forcing myself to keep running until I was so exhausted that I could barely stand (which didn't take much, since I was running on very little energy). Then, I layed down on the armchair, and I, still determined to excercise until every last ounce of energy had left my body, began punching the air. My weight went down 1 and 1/2 pounds... I looked at myself in the mirror tonight and kept trying to tell myself that I'm really quite skinny... normal size! Normal shape! I wouldn't typically even care if I was or wasn't! I don't even really want to be a toothpick-lady! I like my body just the way it is... I actually think I'm quite... cute... and I know full well that if I think that, then I'm perfectly fine. Normally, that would make me perfectly content. I don't care what other people think about my body... never have, and still don't! t's just that... I guess... I don't quite feel fully content with it... Ok, my ranting is going nowhere... I'm sure you all at least get some of the point... *shrugs*

 

[goldenviolet]

*bigger

snuggle*....hun if you get more stressed and triggered please call a family member, friend or counselor to talk to. even if you can't tell them exactly what is going on... you can just ask for a little chat of encouragement.

 

[WhereareyouGod?]

*huge Hugs*

If you need me i am here for you

Love n Hugs

Lizzie