I just cursed The Lord out
That is wrong, but God will forgive you if you ask Him to.
I'm angry and depressed
I hate my life I hate it here I wish I was dead or in a coma or non existant
I feel for you, because I have experienced the same thing. I think everybody does at times. But it is not something God can't forgive. Many of the heroes in the Bible, such as David and Job became depressed. I suppose maybe it is a sin, but Jesus has forgiven ALL our sins!
I can't smoke weed even though it helps my bipolar
i would not reccommend that anyway. It took me a loooong time to figure this out but I have come up with two calm down/zone out tricks that don't hurt me. One is to lie in bed and be absolutely still and imagine nothing, and when I get tired of nothing I imagine what it must have looked like at the moment God created the stars. The other thing rhat helps is to start making random drawings. At first it is shapes and really dark marks but then my drawings calm down as I come down. And have you tried writing down all your frustrations? That helps me.
So now I'm all sober and all I want to do is cut myself or destroy something.
Please don't cut yourself. I did that a lot at one point and the scars on my arms still show. Nobody mentions them but I know people see them. It's been over a year but the scars are still clear. As for destroying things-do you have anything that needs destroyed? If not, what about polishing your fingernails and then scratching the color off? I have done that before, and it at least kept my hands busy a while.
Why won't Jesus God heal me
I don't now why, because I am not as great as God is. But my guess is that God wants you to be the way you are for some reason. I don't know why he would make you depressed, but God often works in mysterious ways. I am a very intense person, and for a long time I wished I could feel nothing at all. But God has used my intense personality. It helps me understand other people who are upset. I also have been filled with an intense desire to help others. I am glad I feel things so much!
Where was he when I was being abused and molested
Why did he allow aal that
God often allows us to be put through a lot of pain, but he uses that suffering to make us the people He needs. All the breakups I have been through made me stronger. As a young child I spent quite a bit of time around an adult with a very bad temper. It scared me a lot. Now, I am known for being good at dealing with people who have "anger issues." I am also very careful to NEVER act like that adult.
God wants me to be holy because he is holy
I'm trying to serve The Lord and be holy
And have faith and all that jazz
At this point all I do is sleep all day cause I don't want to sin and end up in hell
I wish God would just kill me
God wants to make you holy.
There is no way for people like us to make ourselves good enough for God. We should try to follow the Bible's commandments, but there is no way we can follow them all. That is why Jesus died on the cross. When Jesus died, He was taking the punishment for all of your sins and all of my sins. Now, all we have to do is ask God to forgive us, and He will! God forgives us over and over again, because He loves us. We don't have to worry about making ourselvrs holy. When we are forgiven, God makes us holy again. God gives us the faith we need to serve Him. Without Jesus we would all end up in Hell. But Jesus has forgiven the sins of everybody that believes in Him. I still sin sometimes. But I ask God do forgive me, and I try to do better. I know that God has accepted me as one of His children.
By the way, God will not "just kill you." God can do something better. Instead of killing you and sending you to Hell, He gives you forgiveness and life.
I will be praying for you, Savannah. I hope you start feeling better. I hope you are forgiven and I hope God gives you life. And I am willing to talk with you any time. Please respond or message me anytime you want. I am very willing to talk and answer questions.
i really am. God knows you are hurting, please dont put pressure on yourself. i know its important to live holy, but its hard to do that in a normal state of mind, and how much more difficult would it be if you're depressed? you should focus on (and i know this is easier said than done) being healed. i will be praying for you, im so very sorry these horrible things have happened to you. God loves you and wants to heal you. 
God bless you, we all are here for you.
