_CJ_ said:
To admit that even if stepped over the line of human eduring capabilities I'm still not anything worth glory .. or to realize I'm not worth what I'd want to be. Maybe.
I asked you what you think God wants from you. Your reply is rather honest. I sense you feel somewhat of a failure toward God. But admitting failure is a major step in getting to what God wants from you.
Our sense of worth is dependent on what we feel others think of us. Perhaps right now you feel somewhat condemned by God because maybe you life is not as you hope that it be. May I say to you that it needn't be that way.
Your look at yourself according to the sins you've committed. Or maybe you think that you can't possibly please God because you would feel hypocritical. You feel condemned in your sin.
But let's look at what sin really is.
Jesus said in Matthew 22:37:
"...Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."
Since sin is breaking one of God's commandments, sin is really about failing to love as we should. I think often times we look at the sin to hard and not at what the effects of that sin is. Even if we try in our might to obey the Ten Commandments, it only amounts to trying not to break the commandments. It only leads to frustration because we are only trying to obey to keep us out of trouble. And this is where we fail, because our motivation is misplaced.
Merely obeying the Ten Commandments will save nobody. In Luke 18:10-14, the Pharasee went into the temple to pray, but he boasted of all the things he done: he tithed, gave to the poor, obeyed the commandments. Yet the publican, who cried out "Have mercy on me a sinner" went away justifed rather Pharasee. Why? the Pharasee "punched all the tickets", but you see, he did it to show his selfish reputation and good standing. He didn't obey out of love. The publican realized his need for God's forgiveness, grace, and mercy and went away changed for he knew of God's love for him.
Down a few verses in Luke 18:18-27, a rich young ruler asked Jesus how he can inherit eternal life. Jesus asked him if he obeyed the commandments, and the rich young ruler said he had. But then Jesus said he lacked one thing, and that was to go out and give all his riches to the poor and follow Him. But he went away sad because he couldn't do that. Really, he lacked love to obey God, because of his selfish greed.
So do you really want to be a Christian? Then obey the Law of Love. When you love others, you will fulfill the law and love will cover a multitude of sins. Get you mind off the sin and onto God and your neighbor. God will take care of the times you fall, Christ died for that purpose. But the important thing is to pick yourself back up and move on. Remember, God gives us His Spirit to help us. But we must be willing to give it a go.
