Help...I am so sad...

[PraiseHim]

My husband and I have been seperated for 2 1/2 years now. I am so close to divorcing him...although I want my marriage to work, it is emotionally killing me. My greatest fear is God being disappointed in me for giving up and therefore, not using me for His glory....waiting for the breakthrough . Sigh, it's hard when you believe in holding on and everyone else doesn't. My husband is backslidden.....oh how I use to pray that this marriage be restored with a deeper foundation in God's Word that nothing can tear us apart.

We met with the pastor the other day. My husband wants me to wait til he is done with his partying, etc. and me, I'm ready for a new move of God in my life and He is doing this. Geez....marriage is such a wonderful thing. At least it was til his family got him back under their control. Sigh....

I have seen him go so down hill...he says I'm the only one that puts him down. Well, I see it as I'm the only one that makes him face the consequences of his actions, such as not being intimate now that I believe he is still having an affair. Is that so wrong? I don't believe God made me for his and his family's treadmill.

I guess I'm looking for encouragement to divorce and believe it is ok. Can anyone relate????

 

[NoahsRaven]

Don't feel that the Father is disappointed in you for loving your husband and wanting him to keep the vows you made together. If you can confirm the fact that he is seeing someone else then the decision, by the Messiah's word, is yours as to whether you want to divorce. Trust in the Father to do what is right. Hold on to YOUR faith first...use it to know that things will turn at for the best...as they always do.

Yahu'shua be with you. Continue to pray.

 

[amie]

I wish I had the power to take away some of the pain...I am going through a heartbreak right now as well, and I know how difficult it is. I want you to know that I will be praying for you, I wish I had the answers for you, although I have learned the hard way, the only way out is through...I want you to know I will be there for you with words of encouragement and prayers. I know what it's like to cry yourself to sleep as I have done many a night..May the love of God comfort you in a time when you are so desperate, and I pray that your husband will be shown the right path in life, I especially pray for your emotional well being and mental health during this difficult time and I will help in any way I can. Much, much love to you and all the prayers in the world! Your friend
Amie

 

[solo66 man]

First, Let me [SHADOW=seagreen]Welcome you to Christian Forums, PraiseHim [/SHADOW] I hope you find solace and enjoyment here.

PraiseHim, two and a half years of seperation seems like a long time to me. I commend you for working so hard to keep this marriage together. I see you went a talked to your pastor with your husband. Take his advice into consideration as you make up your mind. Your husband wants you to wait until he is done partying? Is he addicted to drugs or any other thing he should not be indulging in? I do know this, if you know he is in adultrous affairs, even our Christ says it is alright to divorce.
No, do not let ungodly people use you as a treadmill. But in saying that, we do need to be patient with people as long as they are not blaspheming our God, His Holy Spirit, Christ, or His Word.

Father God in Heaven, I Glorify Your Holy Name. I Bless Your Holy Name.
I bring to You PraiseHim. She is in deep need of Your Holy Spirit
to counsel her. Speak to her through Your Word, through Your Holy Spirit, and through Your servent. Show her what she needs to do and strengthen her throught that which you have counseled her. She does not know if she should get a divorce, Lord God. Find a way to show her. Show her if her husband is commiting adultry. Guide her. Give her peace. This is a difficult thing even when we know what we should do, Father. Show her how to handle her inlaws, Father in Heaven. And give them the spirit of conviction for leading her husband astray.
Give her husband the spirit of conviction for ignoring his godly duties to his wife. And if he does come back to her, give her a loving spirit so as to respond in love to him. Tell her who she needs to go to for counseling, Father God. Hallielujah!
I praise Your Holy name. All in Christ's name.
Amen! Amen! Amen!

 

[PraiseHim]

Thank you for your support. Isn't God awesome!!! Forgive me Father for the comment of treadmill...I know that wasn't from you. I come into agreement with these prayers Lord my Savior, Counselor, Comfort...

 

[DuskDove]

Hello,
my prayers are with you (and amie)
Although I am not going to give an opinion on whether or not to divorce him. I will say however, that if you find out for certain that he is cheating on you, I would move on with your life. You have demonstrated your faithfullness to your husband and your vows, unfortunately, he sounds very immature. You may have gotten married to early ( correct me if I am wrong please) and it sounds like he has never grown up.
You don't deserve to be in a relationship and be cast aside while he is doing as he pleases. You need to ask the Father for assistance so you can see the truth. This has gone on too long, and he is going to learn one way or the other. The Father always disiplines his children. You need to do some research and find out the truth, and if it is what you think, you need to find someone who is more mature and shares your beliefs.
Turn this over to G-d and he will guide you.

 

[Michael]

Originally posted by PraiseHim
My husband and I have been seperated for 2 1/2 years now. I am so close to divorcing him...although I want my marriage to work, it is emotionally killing me. My greatest fear is God being disappointed in me for giving up and therefore, not using me for His glory.

You can only control your own connection with God. If your husband wishes to change he will, if not, you could be miserable for a long time waiting on him.

We met with the pastor the other day. My husband wants me to wait til he is done with his partying, etc. and me, I'm ready for a new move of God in my life and He is doing this.

You can't put God' on hold can you? What are you supposed to do in the mean time? Knit sweaters? That sounds rather presumptious of him if you ask me.

I guess I'm looking for encouragement to divorce and believe it is ok. Can anyone relate????

I'm definitely not a big fan of divorce, and I'm certainly no marriage counselor, but some marriages don't last as long as your "separation". Maybe it's just time to make it official and move on with your life. Is that what you wanted to hear?

 

[Valkryie]

I don't understand this connection to god. When I pray I feel nothing. And I think my prayers aren't usually answered.

 

[StogusMaximus]

When the idea is not right, God says 'NO'
No - when the idea is not the best.
No - when the idea is absolutely wrong.
No - when though it may help you, it would create problems for someone else.

When the time is not right, God says, 'SLOW'.
What a catastrophe it would be if God answered every prayer at the snap of your fingers! Do you know what would happen? God would become your servant, not your master. Suddenly, God would be working for you instead of you working for God.

When you are not right, God says, 'GROW'.
The selfish person has to grow in unselfishness.
The cautious person must grow in courage.
The timid person must grow in confidence.
The dominating person must grow in sensitivity.
The critical person must grow in tolerance.
The negative person must grow in positive attitudes.
The pleasure-seeking person must grow in compassion for suffering people.

When everything is all right, God says, 'GO'.
Then miracles happen:
A hopeless alcoholic is set free.
A drug addict finds release.
A doubter becomes a child in his belief.
Diseased tissue responds to treatment, and healing begins.
The door to your dream suddenly swings open and there stands God saying, 'GO!'

God's delays are not God's denials. God's timing and answers are perfect.

 

[JohnR7]

>>Help...I am so sad...

Why be said, when you can be Glad! It's a rock solid promise from God that those who are righteous before Him are going to have more gladness than those who are not rightesous before Him.

Psalm 45:7 Thou lovest righteousness, and hatest wickedness: therefore God, thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.

>>it is emotionally killing me

If it is "killing" you, that is the work of the serpent. God gives us the shield of faith to protect against his darts, and his garbage thoughts. There are a lot of good teachings out there on how to overcome mind battles. How to put on the mind of Christ and think the divine thoughts of God. You can live a life of victory in Jesus.

>>My greatest fear is God being disappointed in me

God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. Allow God to perfect you in His love and in His faith, and all the fear will go, along with doubts, worry, oppression, depression and so forth. Put on the mind of Christ, and think the divine thoughts of God. You can sour with the eagles and leave the serpent on the ground.

>>how I use to pray that this marriage be restored

I am sure God would like to do JUST that. BUT your husband has free will. God will not cross his free will. But He can do a wonderful work in your life. He can give you glandness, contentment, and even Godly pleasure beyond what your husband will ever know out in the world in the den of iniquity. When your husband sees that what you have is better than what he has, maybe it will bring him back to God. You can battle the spirit of rebellion through the blood and the power of prayer and that may help him.

>>I'm ready for a new move of God in my life

Then get on with it. You can not let anyone get in your way, between you and God and the work He is wanting to do in your life. If your husband does not want to repent, then sooner or later, you will have to seperate from him permanently, because your destination is different than his. He may think he can sow his wild seeds and not reap a harvest of corruption, but that would only mean that he is deceived. We do reap what we sow. It's the truth that sets people free. The Bible says that people are destroyed for a lack of understanding.

Of course we are to love the enemy, and your husband is a enemy of God. We hope and pray and do all we can so that they will repent and come to a saving knowledge of the truth. But we can not let them get in our way of growing with God and being all that God wants us to be. He promises us that ALL things work out for the best, for them that love God and are called according to His purpose. So no matter what choices your husband makes, if your walking with God, then the greatness of God will cause it all to work out for the best for you.

What I am telling you is all Bible, Bible, Bible. We have to live it, eat it, dream it, study it. We should never depart from it. It is our life, our health, our well being, our hope and our future. God is wonderful Thanks, JohnR7

 

[JohnR7]

>>My husband wants me to wait til he is done with his partying

Your husband is deceived. Today is the day of salvation and now is time to repent and get right with God. This moment in time that we are currently in, is the moment God is wanting to do a work in our life.

God does not give us any promise of tomorrow at all. Today is the day, and now is the time we are given to get right with God. It is a lie of the enemy that I can do what I want today and I will be given a chance later.

There is no later with God, now is the time and today is the day we are given. If we do not make the best of what we have today, who is to say God will give us a tomorrow?

 

[amie]

Hope your mind has eased up on your sadness, I know this is hard... I agree with Duskdove and no matter what, GOD LOVES YOU! If you stayed, God loves you and if you make the jump, God will catch you...God loves you and will be there for you, and so will we...Praying endlessly!
Your friend,
Amie

 

[VOW]

To PraiseHim:

The hardest thing in the world for anyone to learn is that YOU can't change anyone else. The only person you can affect is YOURSELF. Nobody else in the world has the power to make you miserable either. You LET that person do it to you.

Sounds like your husband is a big kid, and he knows exactly which buttons to push. Don't give him that kind of control over your life!

If your sadness is taking over every waking moment, if you have trouble doing anything because you are so sad, if it is interfering with sleep, with work, see your doctor. Incredible grief can mess with the chemistry of the brain, and Thank God, there are medications which can correct the imbalance. If you get a prescription for an anti-depressant, it will take TIME for the brain chemistry to adapt, sometimes as long as three weeks. Stay with it.

When you are wallowing in your grief, it seems like God is on a vacation. He's not, He's right there. You are so blinded with pain, you can't see Him. Don't give up. Continue with the medication, get some counseling, above all, take your TIME, be good to yourself! Once you get over the big HUMP of grief, the sun will shine again and you'll see that God was holding you in His hand all along.

After you pull yourself together, and your husband sees he doesn't have the power to make you miserable, maybe he'll grow up and act like an adult. (don't hold your breath waiting, though, some jerks never do!) If he learns how to act like a responsible man, then you can get some guidance on how to glue the marriage back together.

You are SPECIAL, though. A wonderful, unique woman, created by God, and life will be good again!



Peace be with you,
~VOW

 

[Mandy]

PraiseHim,
I too am praying for you during this difficult time. I pray that the Lord will give you comfort and guidance. You will not be sinning if you decide to divorce.

 

[ZiSunka]

If I had it to do all over again, I would stick it out longer and try hard to stay married. I think it's great that you are doing what I wish I had done.

 

[Blynn]

Hi PraiseHim,


I too am praying for you, your husband and for God's guidance in your situation.



God bless you,
Roberta

 

[GreenEyedLady]

My hubbie had a drinking problem. He always accused ME being the source of his drinking problem because I complained all the time about it. So you know what I did? I told him that I am NO LONGER going to interfer with his "problem" I told him it is his problem and not mine and never mentioned it again. Oh boy did I have to bite my tongue for a month. What happened was he WAS responsible for his actions and could NO longer blame me. He had nothing else more to blame that himself. It didn;t take long before he looked in the mirror and decided to change the image instead of the mirror. I urge you if you have children to GET councleing. Remember....If you have kkids...YOU MUST EARN your way out of the marriage. I think as long as you give it your best shot even if your hubbie is unwilling, you have nothing to feel guitly about when the divorce is final. I will pray for you dear. I am sure it hurts alot.
GEL

 

[PraiseHim]

Thank you all so much for your prayers and sharing. Today is a better day. Praise God. I thank Him for sending those who care. I certainly was having a pity party last night...and needed to put on the garment of Praise. I believe that God works everything to our good who love Him and I look forward to this. He is continously showing me where I need correction, discipline and obedience in my own life too. God bless you all.

 

[solo66 man]

Originally posted by PraiseHim
Thank you for your support. Isn't God awesome!!! Forgive me Father for the comment of treadmill...I know that wasn't from you. I come into agreement with these prayers Lord my Savior, Counselor, Comfort...

AMEN

 

[DuskDove]

Originally posted by GreenEyedLady
Remember....If you have kkids...YOU MUST EARN your way out of the marriage.
GEL

Just a quick question, what did you mean by that you have to EARN your way out of the marriage? I was confused.