2 years ago, I made a rushed promise not to recheck compulsively my boiler heater switch, to see if it is turned off. I did that to force myself out of the compulsion.
Today, I turned on the switch and after, some minutes, I turned it off but I turned it off, fast, without looking, but i was almost, 100% sure that i turned off the right one ( there are many switches in the first row, same like the boiler heater switch)
I started having anxieties if I turned it off or not. I calmed myself down by saying that "even if it is turned on, me or my family, will find out, no big deal"
I remembered when boiler heater is turned on, it makes a noise in the bathroom. since, i was going to get a shower, i would be able to confirm if it is turned off or not from the sound.
I started worrying if that will count as a mockery to Gods because it looks like as if I am rehecking in an other way.
But that was unavoidable. i did not want to analyze anything. I was going to the bathroom like a normal person, knowing that eventually, i will find out from the noise.
as i was near the bathroom my ocd was like
ocd: you act like a normal person huh? you will find out from the sound that it is turned off. thats a mockery to Gods.
and, i freaked, and i stopped outside of the bathroom and said to Gods that I am not mocking them and unavoidable, i will find out from the sound if it is turned on or off because i need to have a shower. so, i will find out. But, instead of entering like a normal person, I, purposely, stopped and acted that now I am hearing if it is turned off or not. I did that to prove to them that, eventually, i will hear it/not hear it. i just did that to prove to them that i am not mocking them.
I freaked because i started worrying what if that counted as rechecking compulsively?
if someone says that "he will stop rechecking compulsively the boiler heater when he knows that it is turned off"
does he break the promise when he, randomly, due to anxiety, says
"look, i will now hear if it is turned on or off just because, i cant avoid it and i am almost, sure that it is turned off. I just do this to prove to you that i am not mocking"
did he broke the promise or not? it depends on how you understand the promise.
"must not recheck compulsively" means that he should ignore his ocd when he knows that it is turned off and must not recheck it again, since he has confirmed that it is turned off.
but, he, driven by ocd, on purpose, while knowing that the boiler heater is turned off, he stopped to hear the sound not because he wanted to confirm it (he already knew that) but to prove to Gods that he will, unavoidable, hear it. instead of acting normal and hear it, he just wanted to show to Gods that he is hearing it now in order not to look like as if he is mocking them, by trying to confirm it in an other way
does that count as rechecking compulsively? i am confused
Today, I turned on the switch and after, some minutes, I turned it off but I turned it off, fast, without looking, but i was almost, 100% sure that i turned off the right one ( there are many switches in the first row, same like the boiler heater switch)
I started having anxieties if I turned it off or not. I calmed myself down by saying that "even if it is turned on, me or my family, will find out, no big deal"
I remembered when boiler heater is turned on, it makes a noise in the bathroom. since, i was going to get a shower, i would be able to confirm if it is turned off or not from the sound.
I started worrying if that will count as a mockery to Gods because it looks like as if I am rehecking in an other way.
But that was unavoidable. i did not want to analyze anything. I was going to the bathroom like a normal person, knowing that eventually, i will find out from the noise.
as i was near the bathroom my ocd was like
ocd: you act like a normal person huh? you will find out from the sound that it is turned off. thats a mockery to Gods.
and, i freaked, and i stopped outside of the bathroom and said to Gods that I am not mocking them and unavoidable, i will find out from the sound if it is turned on or off because i need to have a shower. so, i will find out. But, instead of entering like a normal person, I, purposely, stopped and acted that now I am hearing if it is turned off or not. I did that to prove to them that, eventually, i will hear it/not hear it. i just did that to prove to them that i am not mocking them.
I freaked because i started worrying what if that counted as rechecking compulsively?
if someone says that "he will stop rechecking compulsively the boiler heater when he knows that it is turned off"
does he break the promise when he, randomly, due to anxiety, says
"look, i will now hear if it is turned on or off just because, i cant avoid it and i am almost, sure that it is turned off. I just do this to prove to you that i am not mocking"
did he broke the promise or not? it depends on how you understand the promise.
"must not recheck compulsively" means that he should ignore his ocd when he knows that it is turned off and must not recheck it again, since he has confirmed that it is turned off.
but, he, driven by ocd, on purpose, while knowing that the boiler heater is turned off, he stopped to hear the sound not because he wanted to confirm it (he already knew that) but to prove to Gods that he will, unavoidable, hear it. instead of acting normal and hear it, he just wanted to show to Gods that he is hearing it now in order not to look like as if he is mocking them, by trying to confirm it in an other way
does that count as rechecking compulsively? i am confused
