Help getting my kids to pray

[Redleg]

I need some help. My family started going to church a year and a half ago, and we are now heavily involved in the church. I have become an Elder and my wife is a Sunday school teacher. We each pray, but in private and never made our kids do it. Well it has occured to me that it is my responsibility to raise my kids as good Christians, but they do not want to pray. My 4 year old will without too much of a fight, but my 9 year old daughter is not used to it and is not exactly cooperative. When I asked her to pray last night before bed, she argued about it and finally I gave up realizing that even if I forced her to she would not mean it. My wife and I agreed to start saying Grace before meals and not forcing the kids to do it. I am hoping that our example will teach them. Are there any other ideas out there that others have used that you can suggest? Thanks.

 

[homeofmew]

It's your responsibility to raise them in a certain way but not to force them.
Christianity is by all means a choice and a gift. You don't have to take it.

Doing the right Thees and Thous is too cliche anyway.
Our God is an interpersonal God, doing something to to the "go through and the right words" isn't being authentic. maybe after she was like "God I don't get what what my parents are trying to do." Which is more meaningful then the standard. "Now I lay me down to sleep".

 

[Redleg]

It's your responsibility to raise them in a certain way but not to force them.
Christianity is by all means a choice and a gift. You don't have to take it.

Doing the right Thees and Thous is too cliche anyway.
Our God is an interpersonal God, doing something to to the "go through and the right words" isn't being authentic. maybe after she was like "God I don't get what what my parents are trying to do." Which is more meaningful then the standard. "Now I lay me down to sleep".

I really don't want her to do the whole Now I lay me down to sleep bit, and while I agree that Christianity is a choice. As a father, it is my duty to teach her. If later she decides that Chiristianity is not for her, then that is her decision. I do not wish to force it on her, because that will just turn her off to it later, but I am looking for ideas to convince her. After some research, I realize it is my duty to at least teach her.

Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

 

[homeofmew]

Teach her, not force it down her throat, or make her do things or bargain or take things away if she doesn't do things your way.

Its not a willing choice like my parents do "go to church or you cant live with us"
But I'm willing to be inauthentic to keep my house. Despite my hatred for the modern church. What I mean by this is people that sell Christianity, and the coffe shops and the watersides. There are very few churches here who don't try to sell you something.

Parents attitude needs to be "this is what we believe and why".
I think that Christians over due the motions, but this is a personal opinion of mine.
Not saying you should go murder someone. But some people make it so you HAVE to go to Church.

I might have had many bad experiences with many different churches myself but I am completely understanding of people that get a lot from it, the friendships and stuff.

Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

This is a great verse, because bitterness can turn into hatred which can be more destructive than you can ever imagine.

Every other religion disbands or disown their children if they change to another religion.
Jewish Families won't even acknowledge your existence if you convert from Judaism to Christianity.
Not on Holidays birthdays nothing. Muslims have killed their own children for the same thing.


Christianity should be better than that if it is the right path.
They are your family you should love them irregardless if they are a Christian or not.

The way I live my life is what I choose to do and what I stand for.
It's not about doing the right things at the right times, or the traditional prayer before dinner/bed.
God is a being not a thing with no emotions, being that us humans have emotions he does too.

Lets say you give your daughter a car, she's gonna be like O_O THANK YOU!. But saying thank you over and over again gets repetitive, like lets say a year later, shes still grateful for the car but she doesn't have to say it. And the thing is you aren't God, God can read her mind too xD.

If I ever have kids I am going to expose them to what i believe but I am not going to disown or not help them if they don't choose it. This is something my parents so to me, because they wanted me so badly to be their faith, it's kinda disheartening since its a gift and a choice. The emotional bond as a family means a lot more then all the arguments.

 

[melissamagnus]

with my kids, i just tell them stories about God (bible stories) they always love that, and at the end of the story, I remind them they can talk to God anytime. I also pray with them. I dont force them, but i think they will do it by themselves, if I keep encouraging them. sometimes when I am praying for something or someone, I ask them to join in, and they are happy to. all the best

 

[melsray]

As parents,its our responsibility to guide and lead our children, as long as they are still staying with us or in this case, at least until they are wise enough to make their own choice and i dont think a 4-6 years old children is wise enough to make their own choice. so i'm suggesting that you make a bargain with them, you should know it best on what to bargan.....

 

[homeofmew]

Bargaining your children to be a faith is horrible.
I think even a 4-6 year year old has a right to say no to their parents faith.


"ill give you cookies" to be my faith isn't authentic and it's a mask and a very annoying one.
Being that child is pretending to get the cookies (or bargain/bribe)

For example I think that a Muslim child forced to be Muslim -
should have the right to say no without being disbanded by their parents.

I have seen 4-6 yr olds "talking in tongues" because of their parents faith, this is totally wrong.
Being that the gift of tongues does not exist for every day use.

 

[andyboylester]

You can lead your kids into a relationship with Christ by your example and by talking things over with them, but forcing the issue or bargaining with them will set up difficulties for sure. This is much too important a deal to take it on yourself, so pray about it with your wife, in front of the kids or not, or both.
Thank God I was already a christian before my kids where born. It must be so much harder for your daughter than it was ever for mine. Look at it from her point of view!
Oops, gotta go help the wife get dinner ready! hold that thought, will be back soon!

 

[Darkhorse]

Of course, the importance of kids seeing their parents pray can't be overstated. We used occasions of our kids fears (thunderstorms, the dark, "noises", etc.) to teach our kids about God's protection, and that they can always talk to Him (respestfully) and ask them for protection and help with their fears. It's a start.

We never made bedtime prayers a ritual, but the kids did it themselves, since that's when their fears seemed most prevalent.

 

[hedrick]

But it's not just spending time with your kids helping them pray. It's letting them know about your own spiritual life. I teach 7th and 8th grade Sunday School. Of the parents I've talked with, most don't really talk with their kids about their own spiritual experience. By age 13, you don't necessarily need to sit with them while they pray. But they do need to see other people around them doing it. If prayer looks like something that Sunday School teachers talk about but no one around them does, it's going to be really hard to get them to do it.

 

[OnlyBelieve]

In our family, we pray about everything, this is our example to our children.
If they are sick, the first thing we do is pray,
If they fall and hurt themselves, we pray
If they have abad dream, we pray
We pray for a parking spot at the shops,
It builds good habits for them, I don't force them to pray, I believe they go through different stages, your 9 year old, will be more self consious than the 4 year old. It doesn't mean she is not taking in what you are doing.
Family bible study is good, play games with them to help them learn. We have many bible story DVD's for kids, like david and goliath, they teach what the story is telling them. We have family movie night and watch them together, and then we show the story in their childrens bible and talk about it.
We teach them about lying, stealing, being disobedient, loving each other, sharing, being honest, etc. This gives them a good solid foundation in Gods truth, that we can build upon as we all grow.
Don't worry too much about getting them to DO anything, but instruct them in Gods word and Lead by example.
"As the Old one crows the young one learns"

 

[PrincessWarrior30]

Children have short span attention whenever we minister to children, we make sure we are full tanked in prayer.

Let them know that prayer is not a ritual but an exciting communication with God. You can use conversational prayers when you're together. You can also read them bible stories before bed time to stir their hearts in the word of God. Colorful bible stories in illustrations might help.

You can try giving visuals to your children to help motivate their prayers for issues outside of their own lives and relationships. You can use photos (such as those from magazines or of children in need around the world) and show them real
needs and evoke the kind of emotional response that is necessary to pray prayers from the heart.

But best of all, ask for God's guidance that your child will not get frightened or discouraged because of the suffering of others.

I salute you for stepping forward, your enthusiasm to raise your children in God's standards is rare.

God's grace be with you.

 

[Redleg]

I kind of let this thread die, but since someone posted, a slight update. The other day I was working late and my wife put dinner on the table for my daughters and one of their friends. She stepped out of the room to let the dogs out quick but she over heard my daughter telling their friend that before they could eat, they had to pray. So they said a blessing and made the friend say it too, which she had no problem with. Since then the friend has come to church with us. I was a rather proud Dad at that moment.