Help for long term depression!

[Airdude]

Hi everyone, I've been away from cf for several months but decided to come back and check it out again. I've been terribly depressed for a while. I found a lot of comfort here in the past. Depression has been a big up and down battle for many years now. I've tried several different medications but there were things I didn't like about all of them. I thought I was doing well for quite a while without them, but gradually I have found myself back where I started. I have let my relationships with God, My family, and My church deteriorate. Lately I have been having a hard time imagining the possibility of another 20, 30, or 40 years of life. I know that if I am going to make it I will have to maintain all my relationships. I'm here now asking for support through prayer and any helpful advice that any of you might be able to offer.

Thanks

 

[mikeforjesus]

Do you mean its painful to imagine living this way for 20, 30, or 40 yrs or that you think you will be dead by then

 

[Airdude]

Do you mean its painful to imagine living this way for 20, 30, or 40 yrs or that you think you will be dead by then

I mean its painful to imagine continuing to live this way. I don't have any suicidal intentions. I don't feel that it is a viable option for a christian. On the other hand I sometimes find myself thinking "I wish I could just die." I realize it is not up to me to decide when I should go. That has to be God's decision. I just have to build up my faith and deal with life.

 

[mikeforjesus]

I dont have anything to say right now but that I have felt like that before.. and this verse[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][size=+1]Jeremiah 29:11[/size][/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. (KJV)

[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. (WEB)

I guess your going to try and fix your relationship with God.. this might prove a helpful book for depression I have one
http://russianorthodox.org/conqdepr.html

And these sites I found interesting
http://www.pelagia.org/htm/b02.en.orthodox_psychotherapy.00.htm
http://www.orthodoxphotos.com/readings/psychotherapy/
http://www.fatheralexander.org/booklets/english/orthodox_psychotherapy_d_avdeev_e.htm
[/font]

 

[Airdude]

I dont have anything to say right now but that I have felt like that before.. and this verse[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][size=+1]Jeremiah 29:11[/size][/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. (KJV)

[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. (WEB)

I guess your going to try and fix your relationship with God.. this might prove a helpful book for depression I have one
http://russianorthodox.org/conqdepr.html

And these sites I found interesting
http://www.pelagia.org/htm/b02.en.orthodox_psychotherapy.00.htm
http://www.orthodoxphotos.com/readings/psychotherapy/
http://www.fatheralexander.org/booklets/english/orthodox_psychotherapy_d_avdeev_e.htm
[/font]

Thanks for the encouragement. The books look interesting. I'll check them out. Have a great day.

 

[TheWinterGaze]

Hi everyone, I've been away from cf for several months but decided to come back and check it out again. I've been terribly depressed for a while. I found a lot of comfort here in the past. Depression has been a big up and down battle for many years now. I've tried several different medications but there were things I didn't like about all of them. I thought I was doing well for quite a while without them, but gradually I have found myself back where I started. I have let my relationships with God, My family, and My church deteriorate. Lately I have been having a hard time imagining the possibility of another 20, 30, or 40 years of life. I know that if I am going to make it I will have to maintain all my relationships. I'm here now asking for support through prayer and any helpful advice that any of you might be able to offer.

Airdude, I do not have good advice about long-term depression, because basically I find myself trapped by it as well. I know the frustration - in some days, it seemed like depression is all gone, and just as we were excited about the healing, it slowly creeped back in again. Like a shattered dream. Like disillusioned hope. Like God gave the gift of healing, and now He is taking it back. Something went through my mind just now - "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. May the name of the Lord be praised" - Job 1:21. I am not feeling like praising Him at the moment. But you know what, it is taking my bitterness away. It is taking my sense of unfairness away. It is taking my frustration away. But honestly, God, why can't You take the suffering away from us? Airdude, I do not understand why. I just do not understand what the whole purpose of suffering is. Nobody knows.

Practically, Airdude, what I find it useful recently is that, whenever I 'feel' that people dislike me (or just simply that i am not interested in people), I have to keep my self-esteem in check. I know that as long as I feel like people do not like me (or not interested in me), I will be less friendly with them, and relationship can deteriote this way (self-prophesy, i suppose?). 99.9% of the time, I found out that my feeling is so deceptive and yet it is so real, that it scares me when I find out that people love me. Thinking against my feeling is such a difficult task to do (and sometimes impossible to do, in a sense that I cannot convince myself with my thinking), and I find the task much easier when taking medication...

Let us hope for some 'good days' to come ... Honestly, they will come...

God bless,
Winnie

 

[Anti Existance]

I have a great book for you that saved me from depression and suicide. http://home.quicknet.nl/qn/prive/kes/cycle.pdf

It led me back to God and i have been happy ever since. If you like it you may want to give it to someone else who is depressed someday, anyway *big hugs* hope it works for you.