- Dec 2, 2005
- 21,549
- 3,975
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
Okay, I set a time limit!!! Now I get to give more time to God like I want and I get to cheer people up and be cheered myself. 
I just feel that this is best. I missed everyone though I haven't been off that long. CF makes me feel better but I don't need to spend an excessive amount of time on here. That is for everyone!!!
I was in the hospital all of last week... Something broke within me and I planned a suicide for last Saturday at 10pm. I would have done it to if my Mom and sister hadn't talked me into going in. They gave me Lexapro, took my pens and shoes away for a couple days and put me in support groups and counseling sessions while I was there. They just helped me realize how blessed I am and that I don't need to beat myself up for every mistake that I make and every bad thought that I imagine. They told me that I don't have Dissociation or MPD unlike the other two counselors but said they were ego states and because of my creative imagination I just kind of took it out of control in talking to them. Not demonic, not evil, it is just me and I just have issues I have to work out. That is all. They have me writing affirmations every day and I think it is for the best and I just got discharged yesterday so I am just feeling a whole lot better about everything and myself as an individual. For the first time, I see a light at the end of the tunnel (and I don't mean Heaven!!!).
If mods want to delete that last thread of mine, that "goodbye..." was meant as kind of a suicide thing but I don't mean it now so it doesn't matter I guess. I am just young and I have a lot of life ahead of me. God has something special in my life just like in all of you'lls and I just want to tell you all this; don't give up because you can get through it. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and Depression doesn't last forever!!! Just don't give up. I mean Philippians 4:13; "I CAN do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." I guess for a little while I just forgot that... Lily00
I just feel that this is best. I missed everyone though I haven't been off that long. CF makes me feel better but I don't need to spend an excessive amount of time on here. That is for everyone!!!I was in the hospital all of last week... Something broke within me and I planned a suicide for last Saturday at 10pm. I would have done it to if my Mom and sister hadn't talked me into going in. They gave me Lexapro, took my pens and shoes away for a couple days and put me in support groups and counseling sessions while I was there. They just helped me realize how blessed I am and that I don't need to beat myself up for every mistake that I make and every bad thought that I imagine. They told me that I don't have Dissociation or MPD unlike the other two counselors but said they were ego states and because of my creative imagination I just kind of took it out of control in talking to them. Not demonic, not evil, it is just me and I just have issues I have to work out. That is all. They have me writing affirmations every day and I think it is for the best and I just got discharged yesterday so I am just feeling a whole lot better about everything and myself as an individual. For the first time, I see a light at the end of the tunnel (and I don't mean Heaven!!!).
If mods want to delete that last thread of mine, that "goodbye..." was meant as kind of a suicide thing but I don't mean it now so it doesn't matter I guess. I am just young and I have a lot of life ahead of me. God has something special in my life just like in all of you'lls and I just want to tell you all this; don't give up because you can get through it. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and Depression doesn't last forever!!! Just don't give up. I mean Philippians 4:13; "I CAN do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." I guess for a little while I just forgot that... Lily00 
