Hello, I need some major advice/upliftment.

[mcdanielnc89]

Hello,

During grade school I wasn't a popular kid which didn't really matter to me. The fact that I was made fun of, pushed and shoved around. That's what bothered me. The second semester of 6th grade we had to change schools for we were out of the district and I have to say that the change was the best hting that happened. I didn't get picked on much, but I still did a little bit. I got a nickname i actually liked (mcdaniel), and enjoyed the school. When I reached the 9th grade i amazingly became the catch of the school. Don't ask me hoe, because I don't know. The last part of the 8th grade I was diagnosed with a liver disease which was caused by pain medications form my hip surgeries. Nonetheless to say, to this day I still have the liver disease, but thanking God everyday that I'm here. I am now enrolled in college as an undergraduate Web graphic Design major at DeVry University, Tinkley Park. (online). I'm on a diet to loose weight so I can gain more self-esteem of myself and get out in the world and socialize. I'm not the average male guy. I'm over-weight, shy, i'm not outgoing, but I am easy going. I want to go to a university on campus but am so afriad. The beginning of tenth grade, I came home and told my parent's that I quit because I couldn't handle the walking, but most of all lost interest in the school. So two wweeks later I started HIGH SCHOOl all over agian at PennFoster Career School. It took me a year and 2 months to get my High School Diploma. Now, I am a college dude, and wanna go to a public college. I don't know what to do. I do not wanna get out until i loose weight. I'm so embarrassed and such. Not to mention terrified to go to a public college because I don't want to be made fun of or left out.. I am here for some inspiration, insight, etc.. I don't know what to do.

 

[JeCrois]

Brother, you can be an insipration! You have a humble spirit.

I pray that God will give you a healing touch in your body! It takes a lot of strength to just live day in and day out with medical problems! God is the abundant source of peace and comfort and I encourage that you never forget look to Him when things get hard.


About college...I can't say a lot about public universities (I attend a private college with a much smaller average student body) and I've only attended one 4-week session at a community college this summer...but the college experiance in general is like no other!!

For some folks it's the best time of their lives where they undergo the most dramatic personal development, self-awareness, opening, and an overall come-to-Jesus meeting. There is nothing like being on your own and taking care of yourself and getting an esteemed education while being surrounded by hundreds, even thousands of others who are doing the same. The funny thing is though it's nowhere as intimidating as it sounds. I am like you in that I am quite introverted and overall a shy, quiet observer--in the background....but when I started college and made the best friends I've ever had, I started changing...I developed a sense of spiritual strength and confidence I've never had before.


Others will testify how their experiance in college was a let down from what they expected. What I notice about most of them (and I'm speaking of the ones I know in RL) is that they lack a God-given determination to press on when things come up to put a stop to what God has planned for them. I go to a Christian college where things are tough to deal with at times. But at a secular university things are obviously going to take a little more effort to keep things...for lack of a better term...pure. It can be and is being done by tons of Christian students all over the country though and I commend them for it cause it's hard to keep your faith strong sometimes in the constant midst of worldy attitudes and circumstances.... It could be comparable to public high school I guess, it's just that if you decide to live on campus you are in it 24-7.



Now, I say all that not to pump you up or depress you...I'm laying out the table for you cause folks in your situation deserve to know what you may or may not be getting into. (And please be aware that my take on things is only one of many many variations of others)


I understand your concerns and if they are serious enough you need to get them checked out how they fit in to the schools you look into. For instance my school's campus spans out quite a few acres and last year my dorm was on the very edge of one end at the bottom of a hill while all of my classes were at the other end....quite a hike in the mornings! If you're looking for a good exercise that may actually be very beneficial!! Also I was on the third floor in my dorm with no elevators! My roommate was overweight and he came out an athelete through it all.

About the people.....they will pretty much be the same wherever you are. Overall I think you can make bunches of friends if you put the effort into being nice and friendly. Sometimes it's hard for people like you and me who may not be social butterflies. But the thing to remeber is that pretty much everyone else (that is freshman and transfers) are in the same new environment as you are and are searching for the same things. Most schools have so many activities for freshman and transfers that it's hard to get left out! (Word of advise if you decide to go to a public/private/whatever school get involved in some club or group if you have the time...number one sure-fire way to get to know people really fast!)

What things really boil down to in college will be what you choose to make out of it. That may sound simple and cliche but it really is true. That goes for grades, the social life, interaction with professors...etc.



About your weight...there is a whole team here at Christian Forums who will be glad to chat with you, give you suggestions on maintaining your diet, pray with you, and a whole number of things. If you'd like I can hook you up with them....they are in the Recovery/Mental/Physical Health sections.

Here's a link to those forums if you want to check it out: http://christianforums.com/forumdisplay.php?f=935

 

[mcdanielnc89]

Thank you, JeCrois.

It's hard living the life i am living. I'm dependant, and very very quiet. I keep things bottled in until I cannot handle anymore. I want to go to a university to get out and do thigns, but my weeight and physical appearance keeps me from it.

 

[JeCrois]

Feel free to empty your bottle here....or you can always PM me if you want.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
16May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, 17encourage your hearts and strenthen you in every good deed and word.


Phillipians 4:13
I can do everthing through him who gives me strength.



God has every capability of making you feel and look better! If you have body image problems I encourage you to take it to the Lord. He's the most intimate Confidant we have and sees the needs of His children and cares for them!

Offer up a time each day where you specifically pray for your situation and your appearance. Some people may call it vanity but what it really is an issue about is self-esteem and self-devotion. It's hard to reach out to others in need when you're struggling with your own needs....but it's funny, sometimes that's what brings you the very help you need--by reaching out to others.


College does wonders for many people....those wonders can sometimes overide a lot of issues and baggage we carry onto campus...I've seen it first-hand for myself.

 

[jelvenko]

For me, all the way through grade school and up until I graduated high school, School was nothing but one big fat joke. I was constantly getting picked on, and really didn't have that many friends.

College was completely different... I'm going to a community college now, and it has been a great experience for me. There isn't as much of the drama there was in high school. It is actually enjoyable. I never thought I would make friends in college, because I didn't have that many in grade school or high school. But I have quite a few new friends now, and completely enjoy going to college.

 

[mcdanielnc89]

I'm beginning to believe what others say about a public college, that it's totally 100% different. I can see their points but i still have my doubts.

 

[Thunder Peel]

One thing you can always do is pray for God to give you confidence and strength no matter where you are. Although you may not feel confident or accepted, the new people you meet won't know that; as far as they're concerned you're in the same boat with them. If you're friendly and out-going people will notice. When you meet someone for the first time just try something different, like introducing yourself or find something that you share in common with them. You'll be surprised how many people share your views and interests, although sometimes it takes a bit of work to find them. I had to learn this the hard way but you've got the upper hand from the experience of others.

You have a great opportunity here to start again and be whoever you want, so keep God first and let Him lead you.

 

[mcdanielnc89]

Thank you.. You all do not know how much I appreciate this. I'm starting to like my appearance a bit better. I'm no to self conscious a lot now. I try not to think what others are saying about be and stuff.

 

[JeCrois]

You know Mcdaniel....I've been thinking about it and I would venture to say that the majority of people honestly just don't care at this point about physical appearances. (I say most cause there's always a few out there who fight the currents if you know what I mean)

College is soo much different than high school....at this stage in people's lives, like I've mentioned before, they are reaching a sense of security and self-awareness that they don't get the same kind of pleasure by bringing other people down. Plus they are just so much more concerned with getting their education and setting up their future. There are those weirdos that are just mean-spirited their whole life but as I've said they are all over and you'll find them your whole life.

I may have high hopes in people since I'm at a Christian college but that's really the trend I've noticed.


People are more willing to give you the time of day cause they want to see it returned to themselves!.....what's that cheesy line again from that movie....... "We're all in this together!"

 

[Veritas21]

I can tell you as someone who attends public college, you should not have to worry about the adolescent thoughts and pranks of high schoolers. In high school kids are immature and get thrills and derive popularity from being funny. This is often at the expense of others (like yourself). Curiously, in college most of these people fail out and certainly after your first semester you will be surrounded by fun, open-minded academics that are interested in learning and getting to know you for you. I also think being on campus would be highly beneficial if you have a weight problem, because campus dining (at least at my college) has a very healthy selection, and having to walk literally everywhere will guarentee you at least some excercise.

Additionally, there are usually impressive athletic facilities available at little to no cost for students, so losing weight and getting in shape are real opportunities for you. I'm sure you would probably be a little nervous about this, but let me tell you something. I am a college athlete (played division III basketball and still remain fairly active). As such, I spent considerable time working out and am probably the type of guy most people like you would be afraid would pass judgment about you. While working out, I noticed this guy started coming to the gym to work out too. He was easily 300 lbs, possibly more, and was certainly nothing impressive to look at. However, he became a social highlight for myself and my peers and we began to interact with him directly, by helping to provide him with more effective workouts and support. He lost a ton of weight and made many friends. He was a very nice guy that just happened to be a bit on the heavy side. Perhaps you can draw inspiration from this story.

In essence, public college is what you make it. Never be afraid of yourself physically. Most people other than incoming freshman will have grown out of the childish high school bullying, and the opportunity to be out on your own, get to know new people, and discover yourself are amazing. As a Christian, this would be especially true for you. There are a number of campus Christian groups that accept everyone and would love for your involvement. Give it a try!

 

[mcdanielnc89]

i'm seriously of thinking of transferring ot a public college. I currently am doing online courses and really would like to get out. I just think that when someone looks at me its them laughing inside cuz of my appearance. I know it's not true but, lol...