Hello I am stressed

[Utah Knight]

My wife is due in April and we cannot find anyone at the moment who would be able to watch our daughter when my wife is giveing birth. She has not other support here besides me and a few other friends and she wants me in the delivery room with her when she is givieing birth and it is important to me to be in the room with her.The problem is the only people we trust to watch our daughter are either out of stat and unable to get here or they are busy and there is no possible way they can watch our daughter. Also with no support by me in the delivery room my wife is worried that she may not be able to do it alone. In addition to this the docs and nurses are unable to leave the delivery room to tell me if there are any complications or worse until it is all over. I need to know this stuff so it make it even more important for me to be there with her in the room any prayers and suggestions are welcome. Thanx in advance.

 

[Avatar]

Take your daughter with you.

Problem solved.

 

[Utah Knight]

Take your daughter with you.

Problem solved.

wish it were that simple they do not allow children under 5 in the delivery room and my daughter will only be 3

 

[Avatar]

wish it were that simple they do not allow children under 5 in the delivery room and my daughter will only be 3

Don't give them the option. Show up with your daughter. What are they going to do?

 

[Utah Knight]

Don't give them the option. Show up with your daughter. What are they going to do?

they may not allow me into the delivery room when my wife is giveing birth unless we have someone that can watch my daughter in the waiting room

 

[jgonz]

You could hire a doula... She would be able to help you and your wife with labor while you're still at home, and then she could also help you at the hospital while an assistant doula (or one who's in training) could watch your daughter. Here's DONA's website (Doulas of North America): http://www.dona.org/ If you don't have a doula in the area, ask around... there may be one who just isn't a member of DONA yet...

Sometimes midwives will act as doulas also... or have assistants that you could hire to watch your DD.

Another option would be looking into a birthing center instead of a hospital. You could easily take your DD with you then, and they have assistants who could help watch her if she (or you & your wife for that matter) wasn't comfortable being in the same room with you.

We asked an older lady from our previous church to come to the hospital and watch 2 of our boys when I had my last baby. They wanted to see the birth, but they needed to have an adult supervising them (in case they didn't want to be there after all). I've heard of Many families doing something similar, even if it was just to watch the toddler/child in the waiting room, walk the hall downstairs, or visit the cafeteria. The hospital we were in had a fold-out bed for the boys, so they ended up falling asleep while the older lady dozed in a rocking chair.

 

[Utah Knight]

I'll look into it.

 

[Avatar]

I'll look into it.

I didn't mean to sound flippant before, but I really believe if you show up with your daughter, they're stuck. If you're reasonable about it instead of confrontational, they'll let you in.

They will block you if you're confrontational, but if you ask for human compassion, you'll get it. That's been my experience. People will go out of their way to help you when you ask them nicely. The same people will do all they can against you if you are rude. They're the same as me and you, if someone asks for our help, we'll give it. If someone demands us to do something we don't have to, we won't.

It's all in how we approach people.

 

[Utah Knight]

I didn't mean to sound flippant before, but I really believe if you show up with your daughter, they're stuck. If you're reasonable about it instead of confrontational, they'll let you in.

They will block you if you're confrontational, but if you ask for human compassion, you'll get it. That's been my experience. People will go out of their way to help you when you ask them nicely. The same people will do all they can against you if you are rude. They're the same as me and you, if someone asks for our help, we'll give it. If someone demands us to do something we don't have to, we won't.

It's all in how we approach people.

trust me I am well aware of how to approach people being a cop it may be my life if I am to confrontational to the wrong person at the wrong time. I am just worried that if I take my daughter they will not allow me to be in the delivery room.

 

[Avatar]

trust me I am well aware of how to approach people being a cop it may be my life if I am to confrontational to the wrong person at the wrong time. I am just worried that if I take my daughter they will not allow me to be in the delivery room.

You're a cop? Thank you for what you do. My family is several times over indebted to folks who have chosen to serve others as you have.

I find it hard to believe that even if a hospital would absolutely not let a 3 year old into the delivery room, that they wouldn't have someone look after your daughter for the 40 minutes or so. Women are only taken into the delivery room at the end of labour. The full laour experience is in a 'waiting' hospital room, with family and a bed. Only when the baby is about to arrive is the woman moved to the delivery room.

I can't believe any hospital would deny a husband's right to be in the delivery room, because another child was with him.

I just can't see how that could be if you're dealing with other human beings, who have to be compassionate if they work in health care.

 

[Utah Knight]

You're a cop? Thank you for what you do. My family is several times over indebted to folks who have chosen to serve others as you have.

I find it hard to believe that even if a hospital would absolutely not let a 3 year old into the delivery room, that they wouldn't have someone look after your daughter for the 40 minutes or so. Women are only taken into the delivery room at the end of labour. The full laour experience is in a 'waiting' hospital room, with family and a bed. Only when the baby is about to arrive is the woman moved to the delivery room.

I can't believe any hospital would deny a husband's right to be in the delivery room, because another child was with him.

I just can't see how that could be if you're dealing with other human beings, who have to be compassionate if they work in health care.

The hopital may but in most cases children under 5 are not allowed in the delivery room all I can do is hope for the best. and they stated that they cannot look after peoples kids it is not there responsibility. When my daughter was born we were in the delivery room from the time we arrived there until she had the baby and a bit afterwards. Basically i know for sure that my daughter can be there in the room with us until the actual delivery starts but dureing it is the problem.

 

[Avatar]

The hopital may but in most cases children under 5 are not allowed in the delivery room all I can do is hope for the best. and they stated that they cannot look after peoples kids it is not there responsibility. When my daughter was born we were in the delivery room from the time we arrived there until she had the baby and a bit afterwards. Basically i know for sure that my daughter can be there in the room with us until the actual delivery starts but dureing it is the problem.

You are stuck. You've forced the hospital to nail down its policies, and now it has to fulfill them. That's not good (for you).


You are left with finding care for your 3 year old. I think someone earlier in his thread suggested seeking help from your church. You have three months, I'm sure you can find a good person in that time. Heck, you'll probably have a line-up. If I lived close I'm sure my kids would like a sleepover.

 

[Utah Knight]

You are stuck. You've forced the hospital to nail down its policies, and now it has to fulfill them. That's not good (for you).


You are left with finding care for your 3 year old. I think someone earlier in his thread suggested seeking help from your church. You have three months, I'm sure you can find a good person in that time. Heck, you'll probably have a line-up. If I lived close I'm sure my kids would like a sleepover.

actually i am not lol i did it a smart way and did not leave my name or daughters or my wifes so they do not even know when she is due or if she is the one expecting just called and asked are toddlers are allowed in the delivery room

 

[jgonz]

Avatar~ Most hospitals don't do a separate delivery room thing anymore anyway... The pregnant mom is in one room for labor AND delivery, then moved to another room for her stay.

It's been many years, but when I was having #2, they absolutely Refused to allow my toddler to be in with us. MIL was supposed to come to the hospital to watch her, but she was nowhere to be found when I went into labor. DH ended up calling a friend of his to come sit with her in the waiting room. It was Not the best scenario... Planning ahead is definately better for all concerned (instead of, IMO, just "hoping" the hospital will allow her to be with you).

 

[Utah Knight]

I hope so to because i am going to be my wifes only support and she will definately need me there

 

[sweetangelmum]

I would ring your church or anyone and get them to come to the hospital and mind her. I dont think a 3 year child really should be there without her own support.

Get the person to just wait in the waiting room. I would do it and I dont even know you so I am sure a friend or even an associate would do it.

 

[sweetangelmum]

Also have you thought of just ringing a nanny service or the like. I know that they can do overnighters and things like that.

 

[Utah Knight]

we do not want an over nighter. and i have tried the peole we trust and they cannot do it

 

[Leanna]

I think the doula idea is good

 

[Utah Knight]

i'll check into it i do not know if my insurance would cover it about how much does it cost on average?