hello and a poem for fellow OCDers

[cabsmom]

I am fairly new to this forum and I wanted to introduce myself and say that there is great hope in Jesus Christ.

I started having OCD symptoms in my late teens and I had no idea what was going on. I went for years like that. I had feelings that maybe I had blasphemed the Holy Spirit. Just reading that there was an unpardonable sin sent me into a tailspin. I also had the urge to make promises to do stupid things. I remember that I promised in my head to at least pick up two pieces of trash a day. I also would feel guilty when I walked by trash and left it there. Imagine being my friend and I am picking up cigarette buts from the sidewalk. There were other things, but I don't want to be too long-winded.

I still have OCD and sometimes it really gets me down. Most the time now I recognize it for what it is and go on. My life is dramatically better than 20 years ago. Still there are dark times, but not LONG dark times. I still feel that my brain gets stuck and too full and tired of all the thinking and re-thinking and over-thinking. I remember at one point when I went for prayer from a guest evangelist at our church. He prayed for the torment to stop and I hadn't told him what the problem was. I was relieved that God knew where I was.

Now on to the poem,

NO MORE

I was oppressed----but no more!

I was locked in depression----but no more!

My God held the key that set me free.

My future was full of darkness---but no more!

My future was filled with bleakness---but no more!

My God had bountiful joy for me.

He saw where I was and said, "NO MORE!"

 

[justpassingthrough21]

Thank you for the poem, it was very uplifting. It reminds me of the authority God has over everything we face. I also had some comfirmation that God knew where I was in my struggles. I hadn't told my Pastor about my struggles before. He pulled me up one sunday to prophecy about something completely unrelated to OCD. And about halfway through he started talking about the struggles in my mind, and then afterwards went right back to what he was prophecying about befor. I have often thought about that service to remind myself of God knows about my struggles, and that he isn't gonna whip me because of my weaknesses.

 

[shelovesChrist]

He prayed for the torment to stop and I hadn't told him what the problem was. I was relieved that God knew where I was. amen

 

[shelovesChrist]

NO MORE

I was oppressed----but no more!

I was locked in depression----but no more!

My God held the key that set me free. yessssssss !

My future was full of darkness---but no more!

My future was filled with bleakness---but no more!

My God had bountiful joy for me.

He saw where I was and said, "NO MORE! yesssssss

im glad that GOD gets His glory out of even our trials.

 

[~PeaceLove]

I really enjoyed your poem.

 

[cabsmom]

One of the things I often used to think was that I would never experience real joy again. "Maybe I will learn to cope with this", "maybe I won't feel as bad", but I never thought, "I will feel hope and joy and peace."

Now, I know that I can because I do experience hope and joy and peace. There are still some problems and sometimes they can start to crush me, BUT God doesn't let it destroy me and it gets lighter and lighter all the time.

The one thing that hurt badly is my son has OCD also. He is doing very well right now and he gives God the credit where it rightly belongs.

 

[Jordina]

Thank you. That made my day!

 

[cabsmom]

Thank you Jordina.

I sporadically write things down in a notebook. Some of it is related to my struggle with this "monster" and some of it is just random thoughts and praises to God. He is faithful and He loves us and will never forsake us.