Hellllppp... I'm about to lose my temper

quickly...

I posted some time ago about a coworker who assumed many of my most important duties, was kind of being a jerk about it, the whole situation was unfair to me etc. etc.

FF a few months... she's now been officially promoted to the job I was requested in writing to take on a few months ago (they wanted me to sign a commitment paper before they went for the budgeting). I have been TRYING to give her the benefit of the doubt in all her behavior toward me.

She's a Catholic, and I always thought a Christian... we were pretty good friends before. I sent her a congrats email after her promo, which she ignored. Then I saw her in the office and went up and congratulated her (both were sincere... if I can't have the job I want her to have it). That time, she turned and walked away w/o a word, but not huffy -- just walked. Etc etc., I can't solve any work probs without fear of incurring her wrath that I've stepped on her territory.

today I wanted to set up a personal mtg during my lunch hr., so I asked another coworker who usually covers me if a certain time of day would be ok to do that. She said ok and then let Miss Thang know about it. Miss Thang came down to where I work, pulled me out of an important meeting and said that time wasn't good for my break today, etc etc. I told her me and the other girl had worked it out but she insisted on getting another person to do it. She really went off on me rather uncharasterically for a long time, about how my break was too early for this person, etc. etc. I talked to my cover, who said she didn't complain about, just said she'd be away from her desk and at mine for the appointed time.

Anyhow I think this Miss Thang is gonna wind up giving me my review in a few weeks. What should I dooooo? Should I say anything? I'm really mad bc luckily the mtg she pulled me out of, didn't turn out to be a big deal... but if something had come up where I needed to represent my dept and do my job, I wouldn't have been there. If she's so all-fired worried about my poisition not being adequately filled when I'm out, why would she do that???

to clarify (ok I do know this is NOT quick at all LOL) my review is a combo of self-review, peer review and boss review. Don't think she'd really be coming up with the marks herself (God I hope) but I don't know if I can count on her to represent my interests, in terms of can I be honest w/her about my own goals, where I think I am good or need to improve etc. I'm afraid she'll use it against me.

Also I was trying not to get into the whole catfight that our coworkers seemed to anticipate... but it's getting more obvious I think, that we're not getting along.

Am I being paranoid here??

ok hijacking my own thread but I want to make sure I'm telling the whole story...

Miss Thang also said it was "unreasonable" to expect 2 breaks a day... well in a way I know that, but OTOH the way it usually works is that I get a short break at noon or so, then a real lunch break later afternoon, like 3 or 3:30p. I usually get food at noon and just do whatever later on. Since I can't even leave my seat for a bathroom break, I don't feel really bad about it.

Also, I'm supposed to have this relief/help from noon-2p and 2:30-5p. Since I'm so good at my job I don't really need help, I tend to let people go really early -- 1p and 3:30 usually, unless the late people come in at 3p and then I let them go at 4. I have NO PROB doing this. And when those ppl have personal plans, they are free to tell me and I try to work around it -- ok, don't come in today or just come in for 15 mins etc. SO, although I may take a total of 90 minutes in breaks a day some days, these people usually get a free hour off, too!

I do NOT want to complain about these ppl leaving early since I've no prob with it. But it's common knowledge and I feel insulted that I'm accused of taking advantage, and they're not. Also, I wonder if (since I've been taking more breaks this week to visit w/friends from out of town) the same coworkers are complaining bc I'm asking them to stay longer than I usually do. But I don't know if I should ask them, bc it will call attention to this conflict w/Miss Thang.

wow terry13, you really nailed it

Yes I am unusually emotional about this bc M.T. and I were friends, I thought. She's always been very nice to everyone before. Also, the reason I've been giving her the benefit of the doubt is that I know first-hand what it's like to be promoted above my bosses. I dealt with it better, but I think I had better support, too. OTOH to me, there's no excuse for being a jerk.

Yes I'm ambitious and yes part of it is that I'm mad she took my duties. But I'm not really mad at HER, I'm mad at my bosses who gave them to her. I mean, she'd be dumb to have turned it down. So I don't know why she'd feel the need to rub my nose in it.

As for "occupational psychosis", well in my case, this job is pretty much everything. If I quit this co. I would probably have to sell my house and move, to a more expensive city making if I'm lucky, the same amt of money. Right now I'm barely making ends meet supporting my mom, so I do worry about my own fate.

Since, in my upcoming review, I'm sposed to be talking about how to add new duties to my role; and since, with only the duties I have now, I am pretty darn unmarketable in the job field; I do worry about how the conversation will go.

PottersClay: HUMBLE?!? aw man??? No seriously, I am trying and have been very much so to date, but I'm starting to wonder if I should protect myself -- i.e. meet w/her privately about all this (something I DON'T relish the thought of!) or asking her in writing not to drag me out of mtgs, or even consider asking another of my bosses to do my review this year.

ok so today I'm only taking one, 1-hour break and I guess that is what I'll continue to do... GRRRR, I shall starve until 3p!!

ok, I read the Fruits of the Spirit actual passage and had to laugh at the part that said "against these there is no law." I guess I read that like, "nobody can possibly get on your case for doing these things." Nice and safe as well as probably a good course of action.

I made myself feel better by sending a thankyou note to somebody who works for me, bc I found myself wishing she was in today... she has a great sense of humor and is really laid-back and sweet. So I figured I would take the opportunity to say thanks and whaddaya know, I'm the one who enjoyed it.