Heart becoming Cold

[Stone_Lock_Comanche]

As of recently Its becoming harder for me to feel gods grace in my heart. I have strange dreams and uncomftorable sleep. Im usually a man of great spirit but now find my self irritable and uncontent. The burning in my soul seems to be quite. I notice my self sighing for relief and asking for lords mercy. I have also began to drink occasionally for the purpose of getting drunk. Which I didnt do before. And am concerned. I ask for your prayers. Blessed be the name of the lord. Ieysous Christos deliver me

 

[Peter]

Ah, been there, dear brother. Is the first itme this has happened? Remember, we are mortal. And as such, we can lose faith, as it were. Look at the prophet who after a great victory over the enemy, ran away to the desert and hid.

I can relate to the drinking. About six weeks ago I realized I was doing the same thing. As I was standing in the grocery store with my son, I suddenly realized why I was there. I turned around and walked out. I haven't had a drop since. That's not to say I won't ever again. But not until I do so with purer motives.

As hard as it may be to do, keep praying. The mercy of the Lord endures forever.

Peace.

Peter

 

[thereselittleflower]

Stone_Lock_Commanche

David, a man after God's own heart also knew what you experience:

Psa 63:1

A Psalm of David, in his being in the wilderness of Judah. O God, Thou art my God, earnestly do I seek Thee, Thirsted for Thee hath my soul, Longed for Thee hath my flesh, In a land dry and weary, without waters.

You are in the wilderness, the desert my friend, in that dry and weary land where you cannot seem to find water to quench the thirst of your soul for God . . . Though you do not sense it, though you cannot know it, God is closer to you now than He has ever been.

Though, others, in their desert experiences may not turn to drink, I can see why one might do so, as your soul tries to find a way to quench this deep and longing thirst, though it could never satisfy such a thirst.

As hard as it may be to believe, God gives us these times in our spiritual walk to draw us closer to Him, to draw us closer to His heart, to knowing Him.

My prayers are with you that you may find the strength to resist turning to drink to drive way the emptiness of soul you feel, and turn, simply trusting in our Lord as a child would who does not understand, but simply trusts even in the midst of thieir not understanding.


I greet you with the Kiss of Peace

 

[Stone_Lock_Comanche]

Thank you & may God Bless you all. Things are looking a bit clearer I've spent this day meditating, praying & reading. My heart is at peace for the moment. Praised be the glory of God.

 

[Orthodox6]

The grace of God IS stirring within you -- because you express a desire to change your deteriorating situation. Cling to Christ, Who WILL see you through this!!

When I urge you to prepare for, and make a thorough sacramental confession, I am not (!!) recommending this as a punitive measure, nor because I think you are a bad person. Rather, I know from experience -- and you do too, since you are Orthodox -- how purging, cleansing, healing and strengthening is the mystery of confession. A prayerful, compassionate confessor is a superb ally when one is struggling!

There are prayers to be prayed by those who suffer from troubling dreams. Do you have them?

If you have close blood relatives who struggle/d with alcoholism, you are at physical risk, yourself, for vulnerability to the disease. Think through your family tree. If you have been tempted by alcohol in the past -- and perhaps even if this is your first time -- don't hesitate to seek outside (secular) help, as well. "Occasional" easily can shift to "frequent".

Establish what in your life is breeding unhappiness for you: job/lack-of-job, marital relationship, friendship/s, finances, physical/mental health, etc. These things heavily influence our spiritual life. . . . and determine what measures you can/should take to improve your external life.

No matter what happens, DO NOT yield to any temptation to stay away from church services and from the mysteries of confession and Holy Communion. You want to place yourself where you are protected from Satan and his determination to destroy you.

May Christ, the Theotokos, and your patron saint protect you!

[P.S. Keep your prayer rope in your pocket, wherever you go -- and pray!]

 

[Stone_Lock_Comanche]

Yes of course You are right about confession brother The problem is that the closest church to me is 4 hours away. I have discontinued going to my local antiochian Church because the allowance of Copts to partake of Communion and the conduct of the priest. And the services are absent of christ. There is a strange atmosphere. Masons have also interfered with the running of the church. Alcoholism does run in my family but I usually dont drink at all. I appreciate the help.

 

[fiona232]

I know from my own experience as a convert that so many things are out there challenging us. Unfortuately I cant tell you the type of strain I was put under in the first few mths of converting from some of the "old hands" at my local church. From almost the first moment I was called an outsider and the mistreatment just got progressively worse from there. It is indeed unfortunate that there are so few choices in churches for those not living in the really big cities. I ended up taking a months "sabbatical" and then returned to the same church. Things are still not fantastic & have not been resolved with the perpetrators but at least going away from the environment for a while helped recharge my batteries. The thing to remember is that the only place we can receive the sacrements is if we attend the church. Whatever the shortcomings at your local church, try to remember that the sufferings of the moment are not worthy to be compared with the glory later on. (Romans 8) I think, a church community even with all its warts is better than no church at all in which to worship...
Cheers
Fiona

 

[Orthodox6]

The thing to remember is that the only place we can receive the sacrements is if we attend the church. Whatever the shortcomings at your local church, try to remember that the sufferings of the moment are not worthy to be compared with the glory later on. (Romans 8) I think, a church community even with all its warts is better than no church at all in which to worship...

Thank you, Fiona. I wanted someone else to point out these reminders, since I already had posted some "heavy-duty."

The sacraments are valid and salvific, even if the priest himself sins. (and there is no such man as a sinless priest!)

Asking your forgiveness, though, Stone-Lock, your listed concerns do not sound like real deterrents. The more that we focus on our own struggles to live faithfully, the less agitation we feel from other people's shortcomings. Tuning out what seems wrong within ones parish truly can be very, VERY difficult, but generally is worth the effort.

I understand your discomfort with the mysteries being given to Coptic visitors. BUT please remember that the priest undoubtedly has been ordered by his bishop to do so. (I spent eight years in the Antiochian Archdiocese, back when ground started shaking with respect to certain issues.) The priest may or may not be choosing to make a public stand. (Nor do I know his private convictions.) If the priest were making a personal, unilateral decision to commune non-Orthodox, his bishop would swoop down on him as soon as he learned of it!

". . . and the services are absent of Christ. . . ."

--
Again asking your forgiveness, but such is not for us to claim.

I shall pray for you to regain peace of soul.

 

[Stone_Lock_Comanche]

I thank you all again. What I mean by The presence of christ being absent is that feeling one gets when you enter a church. That Warmth in the heart. And the power of the services on the soul.

 

[Reader Nilus]

I highly recommend Met ANTHONY (Bloom's) book Beginning to Pray, he has a chapter in it The Absence of God which is very helpful. Coptic Orthodox are welcome in my parish as well, and should that concern us, I think not.
Statement of the Orthodox Church of Antioch
on the Relations between the Eastern and Syrian Orthodox Churches
is a link about the two Syrian Churches which your parish is part of.
Jeff the Finn

 

[Stone_Lock_Comanche]

I Recieved agreat blessing from the Almighty this Last day.