He resents me while quitting smoking.

[clep]

My spouse quit smoking two days ago, as did I. We reconciled in February and I did not smoke when we reconciled. The day we saw each other again I smoked and have been ever since.

I hate it. I hate the smell, taste and feeling of being a smoker. The reason I still do though is because I know I will be sickened by kissing my spouse or being close to him while he is a smoker. He is a heavy smoker.

He told me when we reconciled that he wants to quit smoking, but doesn't do anything about it. I have shared my feelings for five months about the health part, financial part and especially about us losing any physical closeness because he stinks. He doesn't care.

I hate it that he pressures me to smoke. He always wants me to go outside with him to smoke and doesn't want me to leave the garage until he is done. Smoking is our alone time he says.

I quit and finally put my foot down and told him that I am done being with a smoker. He doesn't have to quit if he doesn't want to, and I don't have to be with a smoker.

We have the Alan Carr audio and it works great!!!! I haven't wanted to smoke since. He is being as negative as possible and says it wont' work for him. He has listened to it, but rejects it. He just says he likes it and doesn't want to give it up.

Well now that he has quit to stay with me, he is being pretty nasty. Arguing every chance he can get, talking about how controlling I am, ignoring me now. He has completely ignored me for the past four hours which is completely unacceptable normally. If I ignored him for four hours he would be deeply upset with me.

Either I am a smoker to tolerate how badly he stinks and be able to kiss him, dealing with the health issues, the poor example for our child and the financial downfall, or quit and no longer be close to him physically.

I might as well just tell him to move now. No point being with someone that disgusts me to kiss or get near.

 

[MartyS]

I can feel a lot of pain coming from what you are writing. Satan is obviously controlling your husband and trying to control you too.

If your husband has quit to stay with you, that's good. However, since he's acting the way he's acting, that's obviously not so good. But he may be acting that way because of the physical effects of quitting. I've never had to quit smoking, so I don't know personally, but I know lots of people who have quit. Everyone is different, but maybe your husband needs some time to act like this for a while.

Pray, pray, pray for your husband and yourself. God can work this out. Don't shoulder it all yourself. He knows your situation, He knows your husband, and He knows your needs.

Don't give up on your husband. You may have to feel isolated for a while, maybe longer than you care to, but if you pray, pray, pray, God will help you through it. Read his Word. You'll feel close to God, and He will comfort you.

And please don't give in to the pressure to start smoking again. It's not worth it. Stick with your decision to be a victorious non-smoker. You will be much happier in the long run. That's a victory worth praising God for.

 

[clep]

Yes Satan is trying. Things have been quite terrible. I still don't smoke and have not intention to. It has been five days now. Alan Carr and prayer really did help so I do not miss it at all.

He is smoking again and has quit twice since, behaved quite poorly both times and I let him know he had to move. Our son was actually scared with his behavior. It wasn't just irratibility, it was screaming, swearing and throwing things around our house. He was trying to pick fights with me and was following me all around.

He used to be addicted to drugs and alcohol actively, but has been clean for a couple of years now. He acted this week like he did as an active addict.

He at least made it to church with me and a powerful message was sent about families, divorce and how to stop those things.

Yes I prayed lots and he is going to be more active in his relationship with God and go back to AA.

He is still smoking, but I think God has a greater plan before he quits. Some more healing needs to be done he and I think out of this exercise. I will do what I can to support in that.

Thank you for your response. Your words were just what I needed to hear.

 

[GTLiteChamp]

Just keep it up. Don't smoke. He must not value his health. Remember it is an addiction and I gather some of us take longer than others. My friends & co-workers all smoke around me knowing I'm in the battle to quit. Praying them to understand! The woman I date is a non smoker so it works in a positive way for me. I just quit this month.At my heaviest I was up to 2 packs a day. I'm happy to know I am doing it and sticking with it. Both parents smoke and it's hard to visit.

 

[Evie1980]

I am sorry that you are being treated so badly but you need to remember that everyones quit is different. It sounds like your husband has a chemical addiction to smoking and may need some nicotine replacement therapy such as nirorette patches. I was able to quit smoking without any aids but my brother had some NRT and it worked for him so mush so that his wife is now doing it. It may be a good idea to seek some counsell from a doctor or the like and see what they suggest.

Praying for you all.

 

[clep]

I am sorry that you are being treated so badly but you need to remember that everyones quit is different. It sounds like your husband has a chemical addiction to smoking and may need some nicotine replacement therapy such as nirorette patches. I was able to quit smoking without any aids but my brother had some NRT and it worked for him so mush so that his wife is now doing it. It may be a good idea to seek some counsell from a doctor or the like and see what they suggest.

Praying for you all.

He has tried NRT. He has shared with me that he just doesn't want to quit smoking and I can't make him. He is acting the same as when he was addicted to other substances.

I set up a means for him to smoke out of his own money. We each receive what we call mad money and ALL of his goes to cigarettes and that still isn't enough. It is 250 dollars each a month. His cigarettes and corner store coffee cost 599.

This is exasperating.

 

[devnty06]

If Possible try to bring him back from addiction...
I think it will be a tough one to do, better stay away from him and make him clear that you are in no way interested in smoking, so ask him to leave you alone.

 

[clep]

If Possible try to bring him back from addiction...
I think it will be a tough one to do, better stay away from him and make him clear that you are in no way interested in smoking, so ask him to leave you alone.

I am not responsible for his addictions nor do I have the power to bring him back from them. Maybe I misunderstood you, but it sounds as if you think I can do something for his addictions and if so it is clear to me that you know nothing of addiction

It is pretty hard to say away from someone I live with. I have gone the route that my Al-anon program teaches me and that is working pretty well. I am grateful for that.