Having an Emotional Breakdown rn advice needed

[Angeleyes7715]

Hi,

I am really frusterated with myself. I can't handle anything it seems. I don't have the emotional stability to deal with any stress or failure at all. I must have at one point cause I made it through University with a biochem degree.

But between then and now I lost it. I can't deal at all. I enrolled in a laboratory certification program. Like I mentioned before I felt like I'm one of the more intelligent people or I should be at least after all my experience. I'm just frusterated because I always finish labs last! Alot of it seems to be that I don't prioritize correctly or I just don't process info. Correctly or fast or something I don't know but it's like communicating fast and working fast I can't do.

Either way somehow other people always work quicker than I do even when I'm going as fast as literally possible it seems other people are able to get to impossible amounts of work. No matter what it is I always finish last.


After not finishing testing on 3 of the patient sample (class not real) my professor looked disappointed. I went to lecture but left early because I was going to cry. In my car I broke down.

At this point I don't care I'm ready to just go back to working terrible call center pharmacy jobs because seems like that's all I qualify for and I'm even slow at taking calls they always want 100 calls a day I can't only do 30-50 a day so I can't hold down a job. I tried working for myself and I am terrible at that too. This is one big reason I'm always suicidal is because I feel like I'm good for nothing. I feel like the world is always passing me by no matter how hard I work and if I can't keep up why should I go on because life will just end badly.
And what's worse is I can't maintain a good attitude and not have an Emotional Breakdown in front of people especially when I'm always failing. What am I supposed to do with my life! I can't make it.

I'm debating if I should drop out and just get another full-time job because maybe I just not cut of for this career. I am ready to email the department head and financial aid and let them know I quit, thought I'd ask on here before making my final choice since I'm quick to have a breakdown and give up.

 

[Kevin Snow]

I'm quick to have a breakdown and give up.

I encourage you to keep going. It doesn't matter at all who is first or last because God said,

Thus says the LORD, the King of Israel and his Redeemer, the LORD of hosts: “I am the first and I am the last; besides me there is no god. ~Isaiah 44:6

“Listen to me, O Jacob, and Israel, whom I called! I am he; I am the first, and I am the last.
~Isaiah 48:12

And many other times he said it. So be of good cheer you are certainly not the last and you will never be the first! But give glory to God in all that you do and he will direct your paths.

 

[Swords&Sunflowers]

Hi,

I am really frusterated with myself. I can't handle anything it seems. I don't have the emotional stability to deal with any stress or failure at all. I must have at one point cause I made it through University with a biochem degree.

But between then and now I lost it. I can't deal at all. I enrolled in a laboratory certification program. Like I mentioned before I felt like I'm one of the more intelligent people or I should be at least after all my experience. I'm just frusterated because I always finish labs last! Alot of it seems to be that I don't prioritize correctly or I just don't process info. Correctly or fast or something I don't know but it's like communicating fast and working fast I can't do.

Either way somehow other people always work quicker than I do even when I'm going as fast as literally possible it seems other people are able to get to impossible amounts of work. No matter what it is I always finish last.


After not finishing testing on 3 of the patient sample (class not real) my professor looked disappointed. I went to lecture but left early because I was going to cry. In my car I broke down.

At this point I don't care I'm ready to just go back to working terrible call center pharmacy jobs because seems like that's all I qualify for and I'm even slow at taking calls they always want 100 calls a day I can't only do 30-50 a day so I can't hold down a job. I tried working for myself and I am terrible at that too. This is one big reason I'm always suicidal is because I feel like I'm good for nothing. I feel like the world is always passing me by no matter how hard I work and if I can't keep up why should I go on because life will just end badly.
And what's worse is I can't maintain a good attitude and not have an Emotional Breakdown in front of people especially when I'm always failing. What am I supposed to do with my life! I can't make it.

I'm debating if I should drop out and just get another full-time job because maybe I just not cut of for this career. I am ready to email the department head and financial aid and let them know I quit, thought I'd ask on here before making my final choice since I'm quick to have a breakdown and give up.

I think, you are doing a good job. It sounds like you are capable but might need a boost or some extra help. Maybe speak with your instructor, and just be honest and open up to what you feel is challenging and seek advice on how to improve. Sometimes, things just need time. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are already in the program and seem like you are doing okay, what matters is that you finish, speed will come with more experience. As for the stress, seek resources available to you at your campus, speak with someone, vent out, sometimes, a listening ear can ease a lot of the pressure. Most importantly, don't take things personally, your studies or work does not define you. If you allow it to, you will be miserable, because there will always be bad days. Live your life, with one audience - God, let the world pass you by, because frankly you are not here to please anyone else but Him. And the cool part is, He is kind and understands you, your strengths and weaknesses. There will always be someone better than you and better than me. And you might actually be better than someone. So it's best to just live life without considering where others are in life. Remove unnecessary burdens and focus on your strengths.

I feel this way at times too at work, there are nurses who are smarter or work faster than me. What I do is, I don't compare myself to them, instead, I try to learn their techniques and follow. And I know my limits, and forgive myself for it.

 

[Sam91]

Stress slows one down immensely. I remember my homework at high school taking me all night, every night because of homelife. I moved in with other people and miraculously I was organised, writing was neat and my homework took about an hour, instead of hours.

I do not know what to suggest but prioritise prayer, sleep and diet. Get exercise too. Those should help with being able to manage stress a little better.

Talk to your tutors/school counsellor, doctor, a trusted friend or relative. Share your feelings with someone who can help you. You say you are intelligent so it isn't that you can't do it. You sound overwhelmed and like you have lost the belief that you can do this. You need someone to remind you of your capabilities.

God bless you.

 

[Chinchilla]

Hi,

I am really frusterated with myself. I can't handle anything it seems. I don't have the emotional stability to deal with any stress or failure at all. I must have at one point cause I made it through University with a biochem degree.

But between then and now I lost it. I can't deal at all. I enrolled in a laboratory certification program. Like I mentioned before I felt like I'm one of the more intelligent people or I should be at least after all my experience. I'm just frusterated because I always finish labs last! Alot of it seems to be that I don't prioritize correctly or I just don't process info. Correctly or fast or something I don't know but it's like communicating fast and working fast I can't do.

Either way somehow other people always work quicker than I do even when I'm going as fast as literally possible it seems other people are able to get to impossible amounts of work. No matter what it is I always finish last.


After not finishing testing on 3 of the patient sample (class not real) my professor looked disappointed. I went to lecture but left early because I was going to cry. In my car I broke down.

At this point I don't care I'm ready to just go back to working terrible call center pharmacy jobs because seems like that's all I qualify for and I'm even slow at taking calls they always want 100 calls a day I can't only do 30-50 a day so I can't hold down a job. I tried working for myself and I am terrible at that too. This is one big reason I'm always suicidal is because I feel like I'm good for nothing. I feel like the world is always passing me by no matter how hard I work and if I can't keep up why should I go on because life will just end badly.
And what's worse is I can't maintain a good attitude and not have an Emotional Breakdown in front of people especially when I'm always failing. What am I supposed to do with my life! I can't make it.

I'm debating if I should drop out and just get another full-time job because maybe I just not cut of for this career. I am ready to email the department head and financial aid and let them know I quit, thought I'd ask on here before making my final choice since I'm quick to have a breakdown and give up.

You might have brain fog which is caused of insulin imbalance or just simply eating too much sugar/carbs . Try eating more veggies and less pasta/bread/pancakes ect.

Other than that you might lacking dopamine or L-Tirosine which is used for other hormones and dopamine try buying some L-Tirosine .

I'm not doctor btw .

 

[Tolworth John]

you don't mention anything about what your team leader or section head is saying?
Do they think your work is poor? Are they constantly pressing for you to speed up/achieve more?

I ask because if they are happy with your work, it is then your persception of your work that at fault.

Two suggestions.

Talk to your boss and find out what he/she thinks about your work quality and quantity.

Talk to your doctor, depression is an illness that needs treatment.

I your boss is happy with your work, literally write it on your calender in red ink in capital letters, as something to be pleased with.