Have they lost their minds?

[LostnFound]

[Moderator note: three threads have been merged into one - please be aware of the unavoidable discontinuity - and accept apologies]

I am seething, and I'm not sure where the appropriate forum to post this would be, so here I am.

My DH and kids are spending the holiday in Ohio, with his family. Feeling lonely, and missing my babies, I called them this morning, to wish them a Merry Christmas. The first words out of my mentally ill 13yo's mouth were "Mom, Uncle Carroll bought us GUNS!". Come to find out, good ole Uncle Carroll (dh's uncle) bought a gun each for my boys, ages 9, 11, and 13 (2 of whome have bipolar disorder) and also one for their 6yo cousin.

Due to my own mental health issues, and those of my kids, the last time my husband deployed, I insisted that all his guns go to Ohio, for the duration of his deployment. He complied. So, now, I will be the only member of the family not armed. He sees NOTHING wrong with this. I don't know where they are going to go, but I CANNOT allow those weapons into my home.

I am so angry, I could SPIT!

Any thoughts?

 

[LegacyOfLove]

Wow! I wouldn't allow guns in my home period. Granted, I understand there are some people who are avid hunters and thus, use guns. Fine, but hopefully they are adults or older responsible youngsters who only use them under extreme adult supervision and only after they have completed firearm& hunters safety training and such.

So, why....did this uncle feel this was an appropriate gift for him to get for his nephews? Did your husband advocate for this? Do you think there is any chance that those guns could be left there in Ohio? What does your hubby have to say about all of this?

I don't specifically know what to tell you, but, personally, I wouldn't have them in my home. I agree with BlueImpulse, I think too, that you may want to post this issue in some other areas of the forums to get more feedback. Can you post this in: Womens Discussion, Men's forum, the "Christian Advice" forum or even just the general area of the Marriage forum? This is one of those subjects where the old saying "there is wisdom in the counsel of many" definately applies!!

 

[LostnFound]

It was suggested that I post this in a couple of other places, to get more feedback, so here goes...

I am seething, and I'm not sure where the appropriate forum to post this would be, so here I am.

My DH and kids are spending the holiday in Ohio, with his family. Feeling lonely, and missing my babies, I called them this morning, to wish them a Merry Christmas. The first words out of my mentally ill 13yo's mouth were "Mom, Uncle Carroll bought us GUNS!". Come to find out, good ole Uncle Carroll (dh's uncle) bought a gun each for my boys, ages 9, 11, and 13 (2 of whome have bipolar disorder) and also one for their 6yo cousin.

Due to my own mental health issues, and those of my kids, the last time my husband deployed, I insisted that all his guns go to Ohio, for the duration of his deployment. He complied. So, now, I will be the only member of the family not armed. He sees NOTHING wrong with this. I don't know where they are going to go, but I CANNOT allow those weapons into my home.

I am so angry, I could SPIT!

Any thoughts?

 

[LostnFound]

It was suggested that I post this in a couple of different forums, so I'd get more feedback, so here goes...

I am seething, and I'm not sure where the appropriate forum to post this would be, so here I am.

My DH and kids are spending the holiday in Ohio, with his family. Feeling lonely, and missing my babies, I called them this morning, to wish them a Merry Christmas. The first words out of my mentally ill 13yo's mouth were "Mom, Uncle Carroll bought us GUNS!". Come to find out, good ole Uncle Carroll (dh's uncle) bought a gun each for my boys, ages 9, 11, and 13 (2 of whome have bipolar disorder) and also one for their 6yo cousin.

Due to my own mental health issues, and those of my kids, the last time my husband deployed, I insisted that all his guns go to Ohio, for the duration of his deployment. He complied. So, now, I will be the only member of the family not armed. He sees NOTHING wrong with this. I don't know where they are going to go, but I CANNOT allow those weapons into my home.

I am so angry, I could SPIT!

Any thoughts?

 

[LostnFound]

Thank you so much for your feedback. I did as you both suggested. As far as I know, the guns are little hunting rifles. My 9yo proudly announced that they have interchangeable barrels (woo hoo). I'm still growling.

 

[Melbelle]

Oh wow, I do not see a problem with having one Gun in the home up safe and locked down where only you and your husband knowing the combanation but why do they all need guns and don't they need a license for them?

 

[andiesmama]

Your kids are minors, you are the parent...your husband should understand the situation, especially with your mental history...not to mention, he had complied previously about getting rid of the guns in the house...so I think you (or your husband!) should tell the kids the guns need to stay in Ohio!

Are they flying, or did they drive....because if they flew, how in the world will they get them home?

And I can't believe that the uncle bought the guns without checking with the parents first!!

Like Melissa, I don't see anything wrong with having guns in the house if they are locked up...my husband has a few & they are all under lock & key except the one he keeps out for protection, that one has a trigger lock plus it's kept unloaded (as they all should be).

But everyone is different, and if this is your wish and it's already been adressed previously...I think the guns should stay out of your home!!

Good luck & keep us posted!!

 

[Svt4Him]

What kind of guns?

 

[hollymarie1122]

I also want to know what kind? Are they real life guns? not bb guns or anything, would DH be willing to have the kids leave them there?

 

[lucypevensie]

Sounds kind of nuts to me from the limited info in this thread. What did your husband have to say? I'd be nervous too. I mean Nine and Eleven years old? With bipolar disorder? Now, maybe ther'e something I don't know, but...

 

[heartnsoul]

It sounds like there are a few issues that need to be addressed. Take some time to first cool down from your anger. When your kids come back, I would ask them to show you the guns. Take all the guns away from them and give them away to a pawn shop immediately. Then, sit down with your husband and have a serious conversation with him about how you feel with regard to guns. Then, you may want to call Uncle Carroll and have a honest conversation with him too. The uncle needs to understand your house rules and respect your decision as the "mother" of your kids. Explain to your kids that they can buy their own guns when they turn 18 years old and are moved out of your house. As long as they are living under your roof, they need to honor your rules of the house.

Communication is important here. Good luck with your situation. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[LostnFound]

One of the boys said something about them being 22's. My youngest said they interchangeable barrels.

My husband is MORE than well aware of how I feel about having guns in the house. I have NEVER been in favor of it. It has been a compromise, on my part, that I allow his handgun, knowing that it has not only a trigger guard, but is locked in a case, hidden in a place I have no knowledge of, and the key is in his possession.

I spoke to him today, and he fully intends to bring them home, with triigger guards. He says he had no prior knowledge of it, before they were opened. When I told him that I thought it was HIGHLY inappropriate of his Uncle, he totally disagreed.

This is going to turn into a major blow-out, I'm sure. At the very least, my intent is to insist on buying a gun cabinet, and him keeping the key at his office. This really blows me away. Just further illustrates the serious marital problems we are having. This is a REAL biggie for me!

 

[LostnFound]

of the boys mentioned that they are 22's. Another one said that they have interchangeable barrels.

I spoke to DH tonight, and he fully intends to bring them home with them. They are driving. He said they have trigger locks, but that's not good enough for me. I am going to insist on a gun cabinet.

I told him that I thought it was TOTALLY inappropriate of his Uncle to do that and he disagreed. I can't imagine buying something like that for someone else's kid, and CERTAINLY not without asking first. My mind is just blown!!!

 

[Cordy]

I completely agree with you, Lostnfound – that was extremely inappropriate for “Uncle Carroll” to do. I can’t tell you what to do, but if I was in your situations, those guns would NOT be remaining in the house. After learning the statistics of houses with guns in them etc., especially with mental illness, it is simply not worth the risk!

 

[Leanna]

Are you, your husband, and your children in counseling? Why do we need all these guns? Are you guys hunters? No guns in my house.

 

[LostnFound]

My boys and I have been in ongoing therapy for several years due, primarily to bipolar disorder. My husband refuses marriage counseling, and has not participated in our regular therapy. He blames his military obligations, although he does manage to make to make time for physical health matters in the boys.

Things that make ya go hmmmmmm.

 

[LostnFound]

I sooooo agree. There is absolutely no reason for us to have guns in our home. I have NEVER been in favor of it, and he is well aware of it. I have a good feeling that dear ole Uncle Carroll is also aware of my feelings and is laughing at me as we speak!

 

[desi]

If he's in the military maybe he could take the guns to the armory for safe keeping. I wouldn't want them in my home, unless I lived in a tough neighborhood.

 

[LostnFound]

That's one of the options I was considering. Does the armory allow personally owned weapons? He can't really keep them in his office. He just has a small cubicle in a headquarters building.

 

[Jenna]

I can see where you would be upset. I think that if ignorance is a factor, it would be unreasonable to be too angry with the Uncle. I don't know anyone who buys a Christmas gift with the intention of giving someone something that is unwanted or that would cause problems. However, it would be a concern that your husband isn't more understanding with your stance on the issue. I can understand how it is, dealing with bipolar disorder. It can be very dangerous to have weapons, especially firearms, in the house amongst those will mental health problems. I think that I would talk with him again, and stress that the reason why you feel so strongly is because you recognize that this could lead your family into a dangerous situation. Gun cabinet or not, a person has to be incredibly diligent when keeping weapons away from someone who is deeply depressed and may not be "sane" enough to stear clear of the danger. Stress to your husband that if the gun cabinet key were to ever leave his hand, there is a chance that any one of you could have an episode and take your life, or that of someone else. That would be devistating. It isn't worth the risk. I am an advocate of responsible gun ownership and useage, so I don't say this with any anti-gun sentiment. I do, however, know how dangerous people can be to themselves and others when they suffer debilitating mood swings.