- Jun 16, 2016
- 339
- 412
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Others
I have had a hectic past couple days that have been filled with stress and anxiety. My goal for this summer was to be lessen my stressors, but more are building up when dealing with daily life.
I just started going to a women's Bible study where I don't really know any of the girls there and they wanted to discuss deep subjects. The woman leading the Bible study acted a little rude a couple times that I talked to her before we started, so I felt unsure about attending or for how long. I went to the Bible study to at least buy the book we were going to be using along with Scripture and I have attended once. Also, traffic was terrible that day and I'm a nervous driver. I get there and I'm loaded with anxiety I could barely talk when it was my turn to speak. The subject for the day was about friendships discussing the good, bad, and the ugly. I ended up blurting stuff out about very personal things that happened to me which others told about their personal circumstances as well when it came to bad friendship experiences. I eventually was able to get more out when I didn't feel like I was about to have a panic attack or cry. I get very anxious about crying in public or in front of others and I think it's due to abuse. I feel very anxious about this new group since, I don't know personally them, I'm telling them very personal information about myself, I saw during the Bible study that the lead and a couple of the other girls are gossips, and I'm afraid of them telling people in our oc-ed adult group things that we discussed that should remain within our girl's group. I have fears like this due to past experiences that happened long ago and recently.
I also just got rehired at my job which is great, though I think I messed up on my computer training a little bit today. I failed one part of it when being quizzed while the rest I passed. I also pressed the back button which I wasn't supposed to do at one point during the training. I had messed up some last time which frustrated my hiring manager. On top of this thier programs mess up all the time and they blame the employee. So, I'm praying to God for me to either get hired anyway and for His Will to be done. I had a hard time paying attention to all of this training for hours due to me having ADHD, my feminine time of the month beginning soon, and I had trouble sleeping last night due to stress.
The last thing that happened was when I got home and found out that my school has emailed me about being placed on Academic Probation a second time which would result in me going to a study hall which I would have to pay $250 for. My university has been causing problems for other students and myself. I ended up on it a couple semesters ago due to my disabilities counselor neglecting his duties while transferring out and a new counselor coming in. This school has pushed me into taking way too many classes which all of this has resulted in time and money consumption. They also do not communicate amongst departments which has also costed other students. When discussing my new plan to be a part-time student with my new disabilities counsler, she told me that it is going to cost me more money, but when I told her that I had talked to Financial Aid that the way that we are going to do it is actually going to be a cheaper route. I'm hoping that this recent email was a mistake, because I just had a grade come in from a class I had gotten an extension on. I did notice though that the instructor graded it and I still have a GPA below a 2.0 even though I passed all classes, but one. I was pushed to take on too many last semester as well. I should have dropped that one class, but I thought that I would be able to catch up or get an extension on that one, but the instructor declined.
I had recently told my therapist that I may only need to see her once a month, but due to my anxiety going up I'm reconsidering going back to twice a month. I'm also going to call the mental health department to see if I can get reevaluated, since my documents are old.
I just started going to a women's Bible study where I don't really know any of the girls there and they wanted to discuss deep subjects. The woman leading the Bible study acted a little rude a couple times that I talked to her before we started, so I felt unsure about attending or for how long. I went to the Bible study to at least buy the book we were going to be using along with Scripture and I have attended once. Also, traffic was terrible that day and I'm a nervous driver. I get there and I'm loaded with anxiety I could barely talk when it was my turn to speak. The subject for the day was about friendships discussing the good, bad, and the ugly. I ended up blurting stuff out about very personal things that happened to me which others told about their personal circumstances as well when it came to bad friendship experiences. I eventually was able to get more out when I didn't feel like I was about to have a panic attack or cry. I get very anxious about crying in public or in front of others and I think it's due to abuse. I feel very anxious about this new group since, I don't know personally them, I'm telling them very personal information about myself, I saw during the Bible study that the lead and a couple of the other girls are gossips, and I'm afraid of them telling people in our oc-ed adult group things that we discussed that should remain within our girl's group. I have fears like this due to past experiences that happened long ago and recently.
I also just got rehired at my job which is great, though I think I messed up on my computer training a little bit today. I failed one part of it when being quizzed while the rest I passed. I also pressed the back button which I wasn't supposed to do at one point during the training. I had messed up some last time which frustrated my hiring manager. On top of this thier programs mess up all the time and they blame the employee. So, I'm praying to God for me to either get hired anyway and for His Will to be done. I had a hard time paying attention to all of this training for hours due to me having ADHD, my feminine time of the month beginning soon, and I had trouble sleeping last night due to stress.
The last thing that happened was when I got home and found out that my school has emailed me about being placed on Academic Probation a second time which would result in me going to a study hall which I would have to pay $250 for. My university has been causing problems for other students and myself. I ended up on it a couple semesters ago due to my disabilities counselor neglecting his duties while transferring out and a new counselor coming in. This school has pushed me into taking way too many classes which all of this has resulted in time and money consumption. They also do not communicate amongst departments which has also costed other students. When discussing my new plan to be a part-time student with my new disabilities counsler, she told me that it is going to cost me more money, but when I told her that I had talked to Financial Aid that the way that we are going to do it is actually going to be a cheaper route. I'm hoping that this recent email was a mistake, because I just had a grade come in from a class I had gotten an extension on. I did notice though that the instructor graded it and I still have a GPA below a 2.0 even though I passed all classes, but one. I was pushed to take on too many last semester as well. I should have dropped that one class, but I thought that I would be able to catch up or get an extension on that one, but the instructor declined.
I had recently told my therapist that I may only need to see her once a month, but due to my anxiety going up I'm reconsidering going back to twice a month. I'm also going to call the mental health department to see if I can get reevaluated, since my documents are old.
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