handling sibling conflicts

[Evening Mist]

I'm just wondering how other parents do this. I have some strategies in place that are helpful, but it still the biggest thing that I struggle with as a stay-at-hom-mom.

How do you negotiate fairly, keep them from hurting each other, bring down the intensity, teach them to handle their own conflicts .... and all that good stuff.

 

[*Drops~Of~Jupiter*]

How old are your kids? I'm not a parent but it isn't easy to always negotiate fairly. as far as teaching them to handle their own conflicts.... try sitting them down at the kitchen table and telling them to talk it on their own and set a few ground rules, such as no raising voices, no name-calling, etc. That's what my mom did with my sister and I when we were little, but after we both got past the age of ten she pretty much ignored us when we tried to tell on each other unless it was something really serious. It did work for us...we still argue occasionally but we're pretty good at talking it out on our own. Hope that helps.

 

[Evening Mist]

They are 2 and 6. The biggest problem is that the 6 yr. old is very reasonable, but gets furious with the 2 year old's lack of reason.

 

[Beckijhn]

It depends on how old they are. Mine are finally past the smacking each other stage. (well for now LOL)

It's not an issue of who's right and wrong, but their character. Teaching them to handle it the way Jesus would want them to. Sometimes you can't be fair, you may never know the whole story. Hitting and throwing things, being nasty to each other, isn't an option in our home. It doesn't matter who started it.

 

[Amy]

Hitting and throwing things, being nasty to each other, isn't an option in our home. It doesn't matter who started it.

Very wise.

 

[Christian Mom]

Well mine are 4 and 17 months. It gets frustrating sometimes ,I am also a stay at home mom. I really always try to be fair who ever had it first gets it back. Who ever hit gets punished. I try never to give in to my son just because he is a baby and may not understand why he cant have everything he wants. I know alot of people who do that.

Just be fair!!-Christian Mom

 

[lucypevensie]

There are definitely times when we need to step in and help calm things down. But I try to not do that every time. They almost always know who's right and who's wrong (whereas I often have no clue who had what when). As often as I can I tell them they must resolve their fight on their own. No yelling allowed and no name-calling--if that happens then I step in.

At first they hated me making them sit down and talk, they were very confused. But it got easier after just a few tries. Now they're almost experts They still have to be told to talk about it--they're not quite at the stage where they just automatically stop on their own and say "Let's talk this over".