- Feb 25, 2006
- 2,875
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This has been happening to me every single year about this time for the last almost 6 yrs now -- i had to put my previous dog to sleep in dec of 2005. I admit, i still miss him tremendously and starting just a couple of days ago, this guilt started hitting me up again and i started to get depressed again over this dog.
nobody understands why i'm still taking this so hard. But, if they only knew what that dog did for me during those years he was alive, maybe then they'd understand. I had this special bond w/ him and he stood by me thru thick and thin. Several years i had been suicidal, yet, my dog (Teddy), was always there for me -- he was the only one i told (yeah, i kno, he was a dog, but, somehow, he just seemed to understand) -- And, when he got sick and i finally had to put him to sleep, the image of him dying in my arms -- just horrible -- w/ me one second and gone the next -- his head collapsed right in my arms after the vet injected him -- something i don't want to re-live but, always do. I just can't seem to let him go -- or, maybe i don't want to let him go, or, maybe both -- i don't know.
It took me 3 yrs to adopt another dog after Teddy's death and i was super depressed those 3 yrs. I adopted another dog, and named her Sunshine -- She looks similar to Teddy and stupid me, i keep trying to compare her to Teddy, but, she's nothing like him (not in a bad way -- i still love her to death), however, i keep goin back to Teddy. I have 5 pictures of Teddy on my dresser, and I also have a box of his remains sitting on my dresser. I've only opened up the box once -- and i will NEVER open it up again -- i don't care if u think it's gross or what not, but, I feel good having it in my room, bc i still feel like he's w/ me. I miss him so much still. I can't believe it's almost been 6 yrs since he passed away.
I kno i shouldn't be carrying this guilt along w/ me for this long a period of time and i kno i couldn't do anything to save him and i also know God sent me Sunshine in place of Teddy and Sunshine is a wonderful dog -- i could never live w/o her, but, she can never replace Teddy...... I'm sad tonight and will be having Sunshine sleep w/ me in bed to comfort me. I just miss Teddy..........
nobody understands why i'm still taking this so hard. But, if they only knew what that dog did for me during those years he was alive, maybe then they'd understand. I had this special bond w/ him and he stood by me thru thick and thin. Several years i had been suicidal, yet, my dog (Teddy), was always there for me -- he was the only one i told (yeah, i kno, he was a dog, but, somehow, he just seemed to understand) -- And, when he got sick and i finally had to put him to sleep, the image of him dying in my arms -- just horrible -- w/ me one second and gone the next -- his head collapsed right in my arms after the vet injected him -- something i don't want to re-live but, always do. I just can't seem to let him go -- or, maybe i don't want to let him go, or, maybe both -- i don't know.
It took me 3 yrs to adopt another dog after Teddy's death and i was super depressed those 3 yrs. I adopted another dog, and named her Sunshine -- She looks similar to Teddy and stupid me, i keep trying to compare her to Teddy, but, she's nothing like him (not in a bad way -- i still love her to death), however, i keep goin back to Teddy. I have 5 pictures of Teddy on my dresser, and I also have a box of his remains sitting on my dresser. I've only opened up the box once -- and i will NEVER open it up again -- i don't care if u think it's gross or what not, but, I feel good having it in my room, bc i still feel like he's w/ me. I miss him so much still. I can't believe it's almost been 6 yrs since he passed away.
I kno i shouldn't be carrying this guilt along w/ me for this long a period of time and i kno i couldn't do anything to save him and i also know God sent me Sunshine in place of Teddy and Sunshine is a wonderful dog -- i could never live w/o her, but, she can never replace Teddy...... I'm sad tonight and will be having Sunshine sleep w/ me in bed to comfort me. I just miss Teddy..........
