Guidance in my relationship

[24601]

Hi , i would appreciate some advice ..
22 years old , female , in a relationship that im not having peace about ...
He said he was a Christian but his lifestyle said otherwise .
I broke up with him because he was addicted to painkillers and in and out of jail , also he was pressuring me to sleep with him , said that sex isn't a big deal that it's ok if we are "commited" . Has a very promiscuous past and disrespectful towards me about it .
After we broke up he was in jail for a month and there was a ministry that came there (christmas behind bars) and it affected him deeply . He got out and was very persistent and i started to see him again , and I do believe God is working in his life he is sober now and much better .
But I don't believe hes committed to being pure , he still tries to initiate things and im 99% if i didn't put my foot down and stop him he would just go all the way . Keeps saying he's sorry but he just keeps on doing it . i have purpose fully distanced myself and stopped going to see him so often . I have been letting it go because of his past and his addiction , but honestly ii can' stand it anymore and i feel God is convicting me for not breaking up with him sooner ..
He loves me so much i know it would break his heart if i broke up .. i trust that if he truly is a Christian and if he trusts God he will overcome it . But he's 100% sure im his soulmate because if he never would have met me he says he would be in jail with no motivation to stay clean or go to church .
So he's too dependant on me and I feel like it's not God s will for me to marry him , im getting godly counsel and im constantly praying .. i appreciate any feedback no matter what if its harsh or judging , its time for me to get it together and make up my mind for good . Thanks

 

[Southernscotty]

Sister if you do not feel right, Then run. Break this relationship off and do not look back. He has NO right to disrespect your wishes ever and I really admire your stance on waiting till marriage. God bless You.

 

[Kevin Snow]

Listen to me, I agree with you. I'm a 27 year old man and I know his type. He definitely is depending on you for comfort but he needs to get his life together. I would certainly break up with him but tell him that he needs to be reading his bible both day and night (Joshua 1:8) and that he needs a church home and he needs to get stable.

Think about the standard. A man is supposed to be in self control all by himself. If he can't do this without you then it would be a devastating relationship, where he is always relying on you to keep himself together.

I know what he needs is some tough love but if you can afford to do it with putting him in a direction towards church and counseling that would be even better. Don't let him escape the rod that God has for him.

 

[HisAngelOnEarth]

Hi , i would appreciate some advice ..
22 years old , female , in a relationship that im not having peace about ...
He said he was a Christian but his lifestyle said otherwise .
I broke up with him because he was addicted to painkillers and in and out of jail , also he was pressuring me to sleep with him , said that sex isn't a big deal that it's ok if we are "commited" . Has a very promiscuous past and disrespectful towards me about it .
After we broke up he was in jail for a month and there was a ministry that came there (christmas behind bars) and it affected him deeply . He got out and was very persistent and i started to see him again , and I do believe God is working in his life he is sober now and much better .
But I don't believe hes committed to being pure , he still tries to initiate things and im 99% if i didn't put my foot down and stop him he would just go all the way . Keeps saying he's sorry but he just keeps on doing it . i have purpose fully distanced myself and stopped going to see him so often . I have been letting it go because of his past and his addiction , but honestly ii can' stand it anymore and i feel God is convicting me for not breaking up with him sooner ..
He loves me so much i know it would break his heart if i broke up .. i trust that if he truly is a Christian and if he trusts God he will overcome it . But he's 100% sure im his soulmate because if he never would have met me he says he would be in jail with no motivation to stay clean or go to church .
So he's too dependant on me and I feel like it's not God s will for me to marry him , im getting godly counsel and im constantly praying .. i appreciate any feedback no matter what if its harsh or judging , its time for me to get it together and make up my mind for good . Thanks

Hi

You are in a tough spot. Do you love this guy? Do you trust him? It seems that his mind and ways are pretty set in his ways. If he does something that bothers you one time, then it can be forgiven. If keeps doing the same things over and over again, then it shows that he CANNOT change his ways, mind and actions.

You have goals and agendas as all of us do, if he is violating them...then you need to cut ties with such a person. It might be hard, it might be difficult. In the end it's your life and your relationship with God that matters.

In life if something is negative and draining, then get rid of it and move forward. I don't see him changing and he will simply drain you and be an extra baggage that you really don't need.

I am all about giving people a chance and loving them. If they keep burning my trust, then I have to cut ties with them and do what is best for me and my faith and my ways in life.

God bless you

 

[Lowlander]

But he's 100% sure im his soulmate because if he never would have met me he says he would be in jail with no motivation to stay clean or go to church .

He is dependent on you, and indirectly blackmailing you in that way. If you break up the connection, he will end up in jail. Is that what you want in a partner? Of course not. I understand that it’s difficult to let him down, but his life is not your responsibility. And even when you’re not romantically involved with someone, you can still look after that person. You could be friends.

 

[Bebe11]

It sounds like you already know what to do. You have to have a peace about this relationship. Since you don't, I agree that you should break all ties with this man. My concern is how he will accept this. Do you have family close by? You might consider staying with them for awhile.