So i have a slight predicament, i was discussing with my fiance (just got engaged last friday!) about the wedding party and she has 4 picked out for her party and i only have 3 good friends that i have considered for it as usually you would have an equal amount devided between the men and women... BUT i also have an awesome friend that is a girl and my fiance suggested that i ask her to be a groomswoman... what do people think of this? im considering it, it is my wedding but i still am not sure on it... so tell me some stories on non traditional wedding parties...
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Groomswoman?
- Thread starter 72_Chev_Truck
- Start date
JesusWasn'tWhite
Well-Known Member
One of my good friends is going to be the best man in her best friend's wedding. Yeah.. she's a girl.. being best man. I think it's cool. If the shoe fits...
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i asked my mother and father about it and they about freaked and said no way... still wondering why it would matter that much to them... its my wedding...
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I
Inperfected
Guest
I think it's a great idea... Just remember 4 is quite a few to dress and everything for the day.. Make sure you know what you are doing.
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Maeyken
Senior Veteran
Many people are doing away with traditional bridal parties these days.
A few ideas for having a female groomsperson:
- have her wear a black dress similar in style to the bridesmaids (or if the guys are not wearing black, then whatever colour the guys are wearing)
- have her wear a suit like the guys (a woman's suit of course)
- have her wear the same as the bridesmaids, just stand on your side
Some of the possible difficulties with having a girl on the guy's side:
- what to do about the bachelor party- would she be invited? left out?
- would she get ready with the guys or girls?
I think it's a great idea, and like you said, it is your wedding. Perhaps your parents would warm up to the idea over time- for them it's probaby a very foreign concept. Maybe if you explain the reasoning to them, they will be more understanding- especially if you show them you've thought it out.
Also, having an uneven number in the wedding party is ok too! No one says it has to be symmetrical!
A few ideas for having a female groomsperson:
- have her wear a black dress similar in style to the bridesmaids (or if the guys are not wearing black, then whatever colour the guys are wearing)
- have her wear a suit like the guys (a woman's suit of course)
- have her wear the same as the bridesmaids, just stand on your side
Some of the possible difficulties with having a girl on the guy's side:
- what to do about the bachelor party- would she be invited? left out?
- would she get ready with the guys or girls?
I think it's a great idea, and like you said, it is your wedding. Perhaps your parents would warm up to the idea over time- for them it's probaby a very foreign concept. Maybe if you explain the reasoning to them, they will be more understanding- especially if you show them you've thought it out.
Also, having an uneven number in the wedding party is ok too! No one says it has to be symmetrical!
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When we got married, I had 3 friends that I wanted to be bridesmaids while my fiance only wanted his brother as a groomsman. So what we did was dress one of my friends in a darker shade of blue than the other two girls and she stood on the guys side. She still had flowers and walked in with the girls though.
It worked out really well.
It worked out really well.
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I
Inperfected
Guest
It's alright! Right now theres going to be one bridesmaid and two grromsmen in our party... (Growl to the ones who drop out!)
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reverie_maiden
The Lord is my Shepherd
I have heard of it done before. Who goes completely traditional anymore anyway. I mean at our wedding we aren't having any attendants. *shrugs* Whatever floats your boat, that's what I always say.
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I think it's great that you're focusing on including the people closest to you rather than trying to create some kind of matched set. 
I know a couple who had just their siblings standing up with them, which meant her brothers stood on her side and his sisters stood on his. No big deal, and meaningful for everyone.
One way to compromise with your parents, or at least to calm them down, is for your fiancee to treat your friend as she might be already treating your sister, if you have one: ask her to be a bridesmaid. That way your friend can still be in the wedding. She can attend showers and get to know your fiancee a bit better, which might be nice for both of them. There won't be any question about her attending the bachelor party, or what to wear, or where to dress, because she's just another bridesmaid. The only difference is that after she walks down the aisle for the processional she'll go stand with the groomsmen instead of the bridesmaids. And you can print your wedding program to include one list of all your attendants, rather than two separately labeled lists with the gender-specific headings "Bridemaids" and "Groomsmen."
Even if you work out a groomswoman arrangement, I still like the idea of having her dress like the bridemaids. If I were in her shoes, I'd feel unhappy, unfeminine, and self-conscious wearing a suit. I'd feel as if I were being forced to look like a boy right when there were four beautifully dressed women in the immediate vicinity. She is a girl - let her dress like one.
Oh, and congratulations!
I know a couple who had just their siblings standing up with them, which meant her brothers stood on her side and his sisters stood on his. No big deal, and meaningful for everyone. One way to compromise with your parents, or at least to calm them down, is for your fiancee to treat your friend as she might be already treating your sister, if you have one: ask her to be a bridesmaid. That way your friend can still be in the wedding. She can attend showers and get to know your fiancee a bit better, which might be nice for both of them. There won't be any question about her attending the bachelor party, or what to wear, or where to dress, because she's just another bridesmaid. The only difference is that after she walks down the aisle for the processional she'll go stand with the groomsmen instead of the bridesmaids. And you can print your wedding program to include one list of all your attendants, rather than two separately labeled lists with the gender-specific headings "Bridemaids" and "Groomsmen."
Even if you work out a groomswoman arrangement, I still like the idea of having her dress like the bridemaids. If I were in her shoes, I'd feel unhappy, unfeminine, and self-conscious wearing a suit. I'd feel as if I were being forced to look like a boy right when there were four beautifully dressed women in the immediate vicinity. She is a girl - let her dress like one.
Oh, and congratulations!
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Southern Cross
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Yes - I've seen this often enough. A guy recently filled the shoes of the "maid of honor". He put up with a lot of ribbing, but he had been the bride's best freind for the longes time. It worked out wonderfully. I got a few pictures of the grromsmen gooding off with him and pretending to goose him, etc diring the wedding party pictures. That was hilarious!
I've also seen a woman fill the shoes of the best man quite a few times. It's more common than you may think.
I say do whatever makes you happy.
I've also seen a woman fill the shoes of the best man quite a few times. It's more common than you may think.
I say do whatever makes you happy.
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I'd just stick to the uneven numbers. We ended up with that in effect - 3 groomsmen, 3 bridesmaids, 1 flowergirl. To all intents and purposes the flowergirl really acted like another bridesmaid, so we had 3 on one side and 4 on the other. Nothing wrong with it at all.
But 4 girls is an enormous number to organise, is your wife certain she must have all four? Could be much more trouble than you realise... The one piece of advice I would give people after our wedding is to have FAR FEWER people in the bridal party than we had. The simplest thing is to have one bridesmaid and one groomsman, but anything is better than 4 bridesmaids!
But 4 girls is an enormous number to organise, is your wife certain she must have all four? Could be much more trouble than you realise... The one piece of advice I would give people after our wedding is to have FAR FEWER people in the bridal party than we had. The simplest thing is to have one bridesmaid and one groomsman, but anything is better than 4 bridesmaids!
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