Got a problem...need urgent help

[CBlade]

This is the only place I could think of posting this because for some reason Jehovah's Witnesses aren't considered Christians.

But I have a problem with the evil M-Word, masturbation. I started it quite a few months ago, and it hasn't ever really gotten better. I did it because I was curious, naievely didn't know it was addicting, and learned it was definitely the BIGGEST mistake I've EVER made in my entire life. I almost always do it in front of my computer late at night when my parents are asleep, and I've considered telling them, but they are very protective, not too understanding, and it seems even harder to tell them than to stop the addiction. Perhaps I could just leave a note "Mom, need to talk with you urgently" and when she comes to me, maybe I'll be able to discuss it with her.

I hear it gets easier after a week or so, but the longest I've made it is like 4 days. It's pitiful that I can't stop, I've tried praying to God, or closing my eyes and shutting off the computer...but somehow even still my willpower broke and I ended up turning it back on and doing it. I want to just stop somehow, and I think there is someone here who's done it. Some tips...help, please? I'm desperate

 

[PaladinWithGun2]

This is the only place I could think of posting this because for some reason Jehovah's Witnesses aren't considered Christians.

But I have a problem with the evil M-Word, masturbation. I started it quite a few months ago, and it hasn't ever really gotten better. I did it because I was curious, naievely didn't know it was addicting, and learned it was definitely the BIGGEST mistake I've EVER made in my entire life. I almost always do it in front of my computer late at night when my parents are asleep, and I've considered telling them, but they are very protective, not too understanding, and it seems even harder to tell them than to stop the addiction. Perhaps I could just leave a note "Mom, need to talk with you urgently" and when she comes to me, maybe I'll be able to discuss it with her.

I hear it gets easier after a week or so, but the longest I've made it is like 4 days. It's pitiful that I can't stop, I've tried praying to God, or closing my eyes and shutting off the computer...but somehow even still my willpower broke and I ended up turning it back on and doing it. I want to just stop somehow, and I think there is someone here who's done it. Some tips...help, please? I'm desperate

The best advice I can offer you is to tell someone you can trust, someone who can hold you accountable. As long as it remains a dirty little secret (yes, unfortunately confessing this in CF lacks the weight of a face-to-face confession) it allows Satan a foothold by the shame you feel. I'd also suggest you put your Bible within eyeshot of your computer - anything that might keep you grounded instead of getting lost in your interludes. Keep praying, and know God loves you but expects more. I'll put you in the prayers of my men's group and in mine as well, so hang in there. God won't give up on you, so neither should you.

Shawn

 

[jesusmysaviour76]

I don't want to be a trouble maker but can someone show me a scripture that says touching yourself is against God. I am just interested to know for future reference.

Now for the OP, lets pray.....

Lord I thankyou for Your son of God, that he has brought forth a problem that he needs Your help with. All of us here agree that You are the healer of all things, you are the deliverer of all things, you are the breaker of all addictions. Lord your word says that where two or more stand in agreement then it shall be done. Well I stand today with my brother that this addiction will be broken right now in the name of Jesus. That he will be strengthened so that he is able to resist temptation when it strikes. Lord I pray that you give him the strength to stand up and shout "get behind me satan" just as Jesus did. That he have the strength to recognise the deciet that satan brings and that he be able to fight against. Lord I also pray that you raise up people around him that he is able to turn to and confess his short comings in trust. Lord I thankyou that although we all fall short you are there to forgive us and show us a loving hand. Thankyou Lord, in Jesus precious Name. Amen.

 

[PaladinWithGun2]

I don't want to be a trouble maker but can someone show me a scripture that says touching yourself is against God. I am just interested to know for future reference.

In 1Corinthians 7:1-7, Paul states that sexual union is to be reserved for the husband and wife, and that their attentions be restricted to each other except when abstaining joinly for prayer to God. This would seem to indicate that sexuality outside of the marriage between man and woman is wrong, because it only satisfies the craving of one person's flesh. (If I'm wrong, PLEASE tell me ) If my understanding is weak, then I guess it's a sin for that oldest reason of all: Blade feels like it's a sin.

Shawn

 

[jesusmysaviour76]

Thankyou you have definately answered it however just a note to it i do believe that 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 is better suited to single people who are more likely to have a problem with touching yourself as it says.

"But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion".

But then saying this it could be open up to personal interpretation in saying that the self control may only mean having sex with another rather than pleasuring ones self.

But thankyou anyway for the verses it was very helpful. God bless you.

 

[Onlythingavailable]

The first thing you should do is list the reasons why you want to quit for yourself. Quitting because God doesn't want you to do it is perhaps the best reason ever. But don't believe God will destroy you if you fall. Ask for forgiveness and God will grant it. Then rise again, stronger than before. Always remember the hurt you feel when you fall. You easily forget it, I know I did, but remembering it will give you strength.

When you sit at your computer and start to feel the lustful thoughts approaching, turn it off immediately and go do something else. Never toy with the thoughts, thinking you can control them. They always break free and cause havoc. Doing something that requires your concentration when the thoughts come might be a good idea.

But the key to it all is relying on God's strength, not your own. Pray to Him, and cry out for His help. Crying out it in your mind "In Jesus' name get away from me satan" works very well. It always clears my mind. Even when you are not praying, talk to God and Jesus. Converse with Him, and make him a constant part of your life.

Praying for you.

P.S. I think Jehovas Witnesses aren't counted as Christians because you don't believe Jesus was God incarnate, and I've also heard something about your bible being altered. I know this isn't exactly on-topic, but it's something you should look up.

 

[Shane Roach]

I think this verse is one of the reasons why they try to have people not debate whether or not someone's struggle is a sin:

Rom 14:19-23
19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.
20 For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence.
21 It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.
22 Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.
23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin .
KJV


For those who struggle with things that are not clearly denoted as sin, however, there is also this:

Rom 14:1-6
14:1 Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations.
2 For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs.
3 Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him.
4 Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.
5 One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.
6 He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks.
KJV

I note that many who struggle with masturbation also struggle with porn, which though again not exactly listed as a sin or crime in the Bible is nevertheless rather more universally frowned on by most moderate to conservative leaning Christians. If someone's conscience is speaking to them about these matters, I think it is a beautiful thing that they take on their bodies in this way. As has been mentioned above, though, I would hope that people who strive after purity not get the idea that if they fail they are losing the battle against Satan. Rather, you are doing a good thing out of faith in the Lord, and as long as you strive towards that goal in faith you will not lose Christ.

 

[jesusmysaviour76]

I'm not going to start a debate lol but I believe the reason that pornography is frowned upon by Christians in general is because generally it is adultery. A big bold statement but in Matthew 5:27-28 it says "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery'. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

This suggests that if we watch pornography that it is adultery still. Okies well like I said I don't want to start a debate because we are here to help the OP not war on the scriptures so if anyone disagrees with what I have written then please take it up with me in pm, not here, we need to have a bit more respect than that.

 

[CBlade]

I've read through the discussion about this, and some people say masturbation without even thinking about someone is all right, and I'm not sure what I'd say to that, but I don't really care, because that's the only way I'll do it. Videos, pictures, I can't help it...but I don't want people talking about it not being a sin. Frankly, I don't care if it is or not. I want to stop, and I know God wants me to stop, so that's it.

But on the other hand, thank you very much for your support guys. As of recently it's been happening every night, but just getting it off my chest (you are the first to know about it) makes me feel better and more confident. Already tonight I'm not going to do it, I'm positive about that. I'm hoping to go 7 days at first, and then try a cold turkey. I'll see how things go, try to update every day, it'll just make me more confident, if that's all that matters.

My favorite scripture has been Romans 8:38,39 because it talks about how nothing at all can keep me from God's love and doing his will. I vowed to myself at one point that this would never happen, and I let myself lapse, but I know God still loves me, I just need to break this barrier and the guilt and read my Bible every day again to draw ever closer to him. (I've been lapsing on that because of staying up late doing this...)

I'm changing my ways!

 

[jesusmysaviour76]

Praise the Lord, just take one day at a time and remember He will always be with you.

 

[CBlade]

Okay well that's through 2 nights which was real easy because my friend was over, and then 3 with tonight. Woot!

 

[twest]

I'm really proud of you! You're doing great. A technique that I've found really effective is that when you're tempted, just physically move to a different location and begin reading the Bible out loud and with authority. Call out the temptation and command it to leave you. Even if the temptations keep coming, just push through it and have faith that Jesus will bring you victory. God won't allow you to be put against anything you can't overcome. And when you do overcome it, you will be so much stronger for it. Good luck, and I'm continually praying for you.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

The one thing that I urge you to do is to free your mind from the junk on the computer. I don't really think masturbation is a big deal. People may disagree. But one thing that I believe we all can agree on is that pornography is not a healthy way to explore/discover one's sexuality.
Work on that first. Know that you're not a bad person and also that you're not alone.

 

[TheWakeUpCaller]

Congratulations on your desire to change. I do believe God will honor that, and help you. His grace is sufficient for all your needs. If you have to give up being on the computer for a while, just do it. In the end it is worth it. Sin promises big, but cannot deliver. May God bless you. michael

 

[mixiejoeusa]

Just remember one thing and that is this.....sin is sin and maybe if you know that there is no mystery in sin, that is ugly and always be ugly. you will never be fullfilled when sin is in your heart. trust God with all your life and remember you will get past the tempation.

God bless!
Your in my prayers

 

[JosephD3000]

Fast! trust me it works! the desire will leave, i fasted for 4 days it may be different for you,

it's very hard if not impossible to break otherwise,
the bible says it destroys bondages

 

[YoungJoonKim]

Fast! trust me it works! the desire will leave, i fasted for 4 days it may be different for you,

lol, amazing.
I can't even do ONE day now days..
I feel really weak..I guess it's expected since I'm jailed in my home -_-;;

And..er back to advise..
CBlade,
I have no absoulte definate answer for you.
Since I myself a struggler lol.

Yes, I started mine as curiosity since everybody was talking about it without any shame.
I was completely confused at first..
Ah...that disasterous night...I shouldn't have done it.
But anyways..
Yes, it is truly bad thing, self-grafication (touching yourself)

It DEVELOPES into something WORSE and I ensure you that. Because it developed into something worse, it's harder to quit.
It's harder to control.
It's harder NOT to recognize.

What I learned from this struggle was (3 years, well it's nothing compared to those who struggled for 50 years..)
FAITH.
Believe that you can overcome.
Believe that God will grant you his almighty grace and love.

This struggle is not only you, it's all around you.
It's your life.

it's THAT serious. touching yourself and pornography is LIFE DESTROYER.

I've read about COUNTLESS broken marriages because of touching yourself and pornography addiction of some people, including women.

Also, their discouraged and prideful heart and shame because of their sin.

Well, it's all steps and thank Lord that your not there yet but you know, once you think, "Oh well, someday it will end", it will 10 years of more struggle.


So don't give up!

And I'm not sure if this site can help you since you just began but..

http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/

Feel free to be blessed by Lord!

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I think it's just a part of growing up and figuring yourself out.
There are many other things you should focus your energies on such as loving others and showing them that you do, having good attitudes about things in your life, such as school. I think focusing so much on masturbation 1. prevents you guys from developing other more pertinent areas of yoru character. 2. often leads to an incapacitating guilt and discouragement.
I see these things as the work of the enemy.

 

[CBlade]

I haven't posted here in almost 2 weeks I think. Actually the sad part is that I think I only made it 3 days then anyway. It almost seems unbreakable because at some point the hormones are all building or something and it's like some animal's urge to do something no matter what.

It didn't help that I told one of my best Christian friends about it and apparently he's been doing it for 3 years and doesn't really feel too bad about it...he says "almost everybody does it until they get married". So that kinda screwed up my motivation THAT time, which was almost a week I think. I might have started to get "blue balls".

A little while ago I had to tell my brother, who had apparently struggled as well (wow, yeah, I'm not alone), but he said he found a way to break it by everytime he got an inkling of a thought to do it, he would pray to God and get away. Still, it even takes extreme willpower to do that after some days.

But now my bro's making it harder in some ways because he's forcing me to go cold turkey or else he'll tell our parents, and he can monitor everything on my computer (He's a genius). And that's really difficult not to have a goal to start with...because at a point I'll be thinking "I'll never get to do it again...so I have to now" and then it's over.

*Sigh* I'll see how quitting works out this time. Thanks for the support once again though, everybody.

 

[sweetstrawberry_801]

first of all dont feel guilty about this because jesus died for ur sins on the cross and rose again and he doesnt want u to feel guiltly about this. as long as u ask for fogivness and repent if u mess up and keep on trying trust in the lord he will help u and set u free from this. and know that u have victory in jesus because jesus had victory on the cross for us.
here are some sugesstions to help u stop.

1.Spend more time away from your computer. The 1 trigger for this kind of addiction cycles? Loneliness. The 1 solution to loneliness? Face-to-face interaction with other human beings. That means no computer. get out of ur room more and do some activities of interest such as a sport u like or are interested in.

2.if u have a problem with looking at sexual images or porn on ur computer Install a content watcher like x3watch, which watches what sites you go to and emails an accountability partner with what questionable sites you've visited.

3.get an accountability partner. That's a mature male in whom you can confide your problem. It should be someone you can contact on a moment's notice when you are weakening against temptation. Using something like x3watch will help keep you honest with your accountability partner.

4.Continue your walk with God and praying, worshiping and keep reading Scripture. also if u do not already go to church start going to chuch and speak to ur pastor or minster. if the church has a youth group for ur age group you could go to the youth group and speak to ur confide in ur youth leader, preferably a male leader.

I suggest u go to this site http://settingcaptivesfree.com/home/ and do this. its helps people with this kind of addiction. so many people on here have said it has helped them with there addictions. heres an example of how its helped someone.
http://www.christianforums.com/t3296650-yes-13-days-without-porn-or-masturbation.html