Good friday and abuse

[Lily76_]

This time of year is really hard for me because of ritual abuse ...it happened all through out the year but there were set days for it happening one of them good Friday.
I know that i should think about what Jesus went through that day that he died for our sins.
But i cant get my mind to go from what happened to me i get flashbacks and nightmares from what happened ...i know it was a long time ago and that no one can hurt me now .. but am still scared that they can.
I cant even go to church as one of the abusers was a priest and going to church reminds me of that fact
I have met the pastor of the church that i will be going to from now on but i didn't talk to him about my past.( i met him through the mental health crisis team and we talked for a while )
I know i should see the church as the house of the lord ...but it still triggers me.
Am struggling so much that i have self injured and want to drink ( am an alcoholic ).
i just feel that its going to be hard getting through the next few days .

 

[PeaceRose]

I understand. I was abused by a priest on a Good Friday, too. Also on other important days in the Christian calendar. Yes, abused at other times but it was always worse on particular days like Good Friday. Don't know what to say except I understand and Good Friday is always hard for me too and I am always triggered on that day. It always seems worse as well, because no-one understands, and you feel so alone with it. Will be thinking of you.

 

[Johnnz]

Ritual abuse creates deep seated fears and horrible memories. You can't erase memories, but you can discover how Jesus can free you from the worst effects of abuse. Most often some skilled person will be so helpful in guiding you through that process.

See yourself as the house of God (God's temple) not the building. That may give you a different perspective on some things. But the associations of church and abuse are still very strong for you and you may struggle with this for a while. Being aprt of a small group (eg a home group) that gathers away from the church building might be helpful.

John
NZ

 

[Colleen1]

This time of year is really hard for me because of ritual abuse ...it happened all through out the year but there were set days for it happening one of them good Friday.
I know that i should think about what Jesus went through that day that he died for our sins.
But i cant get my mind to go from what happened to me i get flashbacks and nightmares from what happened ...i know it was a long time ago and that no one can hurt me now .. but am still scared that they can.
I cant even go to church as one of the abusers was a priest and going to church reminds me of that fact
I have met the pastor of the church that i will be going to from now on but i didn't talk to him about my past.( i met him through the mental health crisis team and we talked for a while )
I know i should see the church as the house of the lord ...but it still triggers me.
Am struggling so much that i have self injured and want to drink ( am an alcoholic ).
i just feel that its going to be hard getting through the next few days .

You're in my prayers and I feel for you. This sort of pain isn't easy to deal with. There can be so many reminders of our abusive situations that some days it seems every where we turn we are reminded of these hurts. Everything from a color or a facial gesture to words and the physical features of people and some of the things people say. This can be overwhelming. When I've gone through these times I've kept positive reminders near by or carried them with me to counter act these negative thoughts. Or have said quick prayers some not even having words just me feeling all the hurt in my heart with God. It can be difficult if we associate our abuse with church, etc. I keep a little business card-sized writing in my wallet that reminds me of God's love and that he considers me valuable and remind myself that He does not approve of abuse. I have found this helpful.