Going through a divorce

[Kaseye330]

I am currently going through a divorce and am for prayer to get through this time in my life. I was married for 13 years and found out my husband started cheating on me with a co-worker of his. I wanted to go through counseling but he wanted none of it. We have been separated since June and I am trying to move on with my life, but he will not complete the divorce. There is nothing left of the marriage except what's on paper. I am having a difficult time dealing and coping with things in my life on a daily basis. My parents are a great support in my life. I am looking for strength and peace in my life.

 

[saturnnights]

We have been separated since June and I am trying to move on with my life, but he will not complete the divorce. There is nothing left of the marriage except what's on paper.

Welcome to the forum...

Why won't he complete the divorce?

 

[Kaseye330]

We have to finalize the settlement of debt and he's being difficult by not agreeing to any offer

 

[saturnnights]

We have to finalize the settlement of debt and he's being difficult by not agreeing to any offer

Oh, okay... I was just wondering if it had something to do with him having second thoughts about the divorce itself.

You're not alone in that respect - there are others here who are dealing with soon-to-be-ex-spouses who are creating trouble over alimony, child support and division of household goods. You have to focus really hard on this issue and make sure that you get what's fair. Some spouses play mind games and make promises to do things or behave in certain ways in order to manipulate their spouses into giving them more than they deserve in the division of finances. Be prepared for him to do that and pray for strength and wisdom to fight for what's best for you and your children, if you have any?

 

[Kaseye330]

We didn't have any children, but I made sure I have the cat. It's all over the debt we owe and yes he is trying to play mind games, but he's not getting out of any of this

 

[Kaseye330]

I talked to my attoney's assistant today to get an update. I was told last week that the new settlement offer to my husband hasn't been sent because ther office has been busy with custody hearing cases with the upcoming holiday, but they would be sending out the offer and I would receive a copy. When I spoke with the today I again found out they haven't sent it out because of more custody hearings. Is my divorce not as important because I don't have kids? How hard is it for someone to type up a letter and put it in the mail. It just doesn't seem like they are taking me serious when I tell them that I am being effected both mentally and physically the longer this goes on. As I was talking to her I was so stressed that I could actually feel my arm and hand going numb and I'm suffering from a headache now. I'm so frustrated about this and them telling me I shouldn't be concerned because it hasn't gone on that long

 

[Tropical Wilds]

I talked to my attoney's assistant today to get an update. I was told last week that the new settlement offer to my husband hasn't been sent because ther office has been busy with custody hearing cases with the upcoming holiday, but they would be sending out the offer and I would receive a copy. When I spoke with the today I again found out they haven't sent it out because of more custody hearings. Is my divorce not as important because I don't have kids? How hard is it for someone to type up a letter and put it in the mail. It just doesn't seem like they are taking me serious when I tell them that I am being effected both mentally and physically the longer this goes on. As I was talking to her I was so stressed that I could actually feel my arm and hand going numb and I'm suffering from a headache now. I'm so frustrated about this and them telling me I shouldn't be concerned because it hasn't gone on that long

It's not them saying your case is unimportant, it's just them saying that a lot of family court, or whatever your state designates them as, has more deadlines coming up due to the holidays and custody issues that surround them (vacations, holidays themselves, etc). It all goes in waves.

As for the physical/emotional issues, honestly, they're lawyers. They probably don't care... It's not their field and there's no way to expedite a divorce for such reasons. If it's a concern, like you're having anxiety or panic issues, visit a doctor or a therapist to get either medications or suggestions on coping skills. Beyond that, the divorce may take quite awhile so... As much as you may want to, there is just no rushing it. Even if you were divorced tomorrow, it sounds like the issues that you are dealing with will still be there. So I'd check with a medical professional and leave the lawyers to do their thing.

 

[Kaseye330]

I am currently on something to help me get through each day. I have no patience unfortunely