Going back to treatment

[madison1101]

After a rough therapy session on Saturday, and really getting honest with myself and God, I decided I need to return to outpatient treatment for my alcoholism. While I had over five months of sobriety, I relapsed so quickly due to the physical pain, it scared me. The fact that I could rationalize it so well, doesn't help. The fact that I preceded this alcohol relapse with a few weeks of terrible cutting, acting out in a horrific way with razor blades.

I called the treatment therapist and he is very welcoming in having me return. I was originally going to start back on Wednesday, but decided I want to go tonight instead.

Just need to let you all know where I am at. It has been 9 days since I had a drink, and I am really hoping I get whatever I am supposed to get from going to treatment again. A year ago, when I originally went, it was my therapist's idea. This time, it was my idea, and I did not even discuss it with my therapist. Hopefully, that helps me.

Trish

 

[Mayflower1]

madison, thank you for being such an encouragement. You never give up, you get right back up on your feet and go again. Bless you sister. with a spirit like that, you will overcome!

I struggled with self-injury for many years. so I know your pain. please try and talk to someone before cutting. drinking too .

 

[BlessEwe]

I agree with Lily Madison, and I am sorry to read you are having a difficult time. I know you have your own home, and a do have a dog. But I wonder if a sober living home would be helpful for you. Or is that not at all what you would like.

 

[madison1101]

I agree with Lily Madison, and I am sorry to read you are having a difficult time. I know you have your own home, and a do have a dog. But I wonder if a sober living home would be helpful for you. Or is that not at all what you would like.

Hi Bless Ewe,
I am not sure what you mean by a sober living home. We have recovery houses and sober houses here in this part of the country. Usually they are recommended to people who have no other options, and have been through rehab and need to step down to a less controlled environment. I have never needed inpatient rehab. I am only doing group therapy once a week, and have been sober for 8 days now. I had over five months prior to picking up over a week ago. If I had been going to my meetings and discussing the pain with my doctor more openly, I would not have picked up in the first place. It was the physical pain that put me out there this time. No excuses, just discussing the trigger.

My treatment therapist suggested talking to a pain management doctor about suboxone. I need to find one.

Thanks,
Trish

 

[Mayflower1]

I know inpatient rehabs aren't for everyone. the important thing is that you are getting help. I will pray you continue to stand firm in Christ!

 

[TheMainException]

I'm glad that you're continuing to be proactive Trish...keep digging, I know there is something important yet to be gained that will bring you a much bigger step forward...open your mind and realize that possibilities...just stay real. You're a tough one...whether you believe that or not.

 

[madison1101]

I know inpatient rehabs aren't for everyone. the important thing is that you are getting help. I will pray you continue to stand firm in Christ!

My drinking binges were not what most rehabs would be able to get insurance to pay for. In the past two years, I had occassional one or two day binges, one week long binge, a 10 day binge, and most recently, three days where I consumed a bottle and a half of wine in three days. Given that I have been in AA for twenty years, have a sponsor and go to meetings, and just completed 11 months of outpatient treatment in September, I doubt the insurance would have covered inpatient treatment at all. I had five months of sobriety, three days of drinking and am now sober 8 days. I know how insurance works and it takes someone needing detox to get my insurance to cough up a few days inpatient.

Then, there is my employer. There is no way I am going in to a rehab and having my job find out I am there. My employer would have to have a card signed by a doctor with a diagnosis and prognosis. My principal reads that card. No way am I going inpatient and having that revealed. My boss does not know I am in recovery and shall never know.

Thanks for the suggestion. I appreciate the prayers.

 

[BobW188]

Paraphrasing the old cowboy line, you done yer durndest. Best wishes!

 

[BlessEwe]

No what i was thinking of was a home where recovering people live for a year or 2. Having the consent support of others maybe helpful, but then it may be more stressful. Or if you didn't want to move, rent a room to someone with some time under their belt.

 

[madison1101]

No what i was thinking of was a home where recovering people live for a year or 2. Having the consent support of others maybe helpful, but then it may be more stressful. Or if you didn't want to move, rent a room to someone with some time under their belt.

Yes, we have them here, but the atmosphere is usually difficult, from talking to the people in my group who live in them. I would not want to share a room, give up my dog, and deal with the negativity that a lot of the younger addicts and alcoholics bring there, which I hear about every night at group. I like having my computer and TV at my whim, not to mention being able to visit my kids when they come to town. I am living on my own for 8 years, and am grandmother to my munchkins. My daughter would never bring my grand children to such a place. I know her and her prejudices.

I was able to put together over six years of sobriety, living alone, after my divorce. I know I can do this, if properly motivated.

Thanks for the suggestion. That thought has crossed my mind in recent months, but I have thought about moving in with my sister and rooming with her. She has over 20 years of sobriety.

Pray for me in this regard.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[Mayflower1]

My drinking binges were not what most rehabs would be able to get insurance to pay for. In the past two years, I had occassional one or two day binges, one week long binge, a 10 day binge, and most recently, three days where I consumed a bottle and a half of wine in three days. Given that I have been in AA for twenty years, have a sponsor and go to meetings, and just completed 11 months of outpatient treatment in September, I doubt the insurance would have covered inpatient treatment at all. I had five months of sobriety, three days of drinking and am now sober 8 days. I know how insurance works and it takes someone needing detox to get my insurance to cough up a few days inpatient.

Then, there is my employer. There is no way I am going in to a rehab and having my job find out I am there. My employer would have to have a card signed by a doctor with a diagnosis and prognosis. My principal reads that card. No way am I going inpatient and having that revealed. My boss does not know I am in recovery and shall never know.

Thanks for the suggestion. I appreciate the prayers.

there are places like Teen Challenge, that can take you in for free where you can get inpatient help.

 

[Mayflower1]

Yes, we have them here, but the atmosphere is usually difficult, from talking to the people in my group who live in them. I would not want to share a room, give up my dog, and deal with the negativity that a lot of the younger addicts and alcoholics bring there, which I hear about every night at group. I like having my computer and TV at my whim, not to mention being able to visit my kids when they come to town. I am living on my own for 8 years, and am grandmother to my munchkins. My daughter would never bring my grand children to such a place. I know her and her prejudices.

I was able to put together over six years of sobriety, living alone, after my divorce. I know I can do this, if properly motivated.

Thanks for the suggestion. That thought has crossed my mind in recent months, but I have thought about moving in with my sister and rooming with her. She has over 20 years of sobriety.

Pray for me in this regard.

Hugs,
Trish

this sounds like a good idea too!