How to begin... when I was 15 the Lord showed me a dream. In that dream there was a girl I didn't know, but I brought her home and took out a bible and opened it to Amos and started discussing the bible with her. The bible itself was made of gold and it had the colors of the rainbow tinted all over it. Later the Lord showed me that the girl in the dream was the one I would marry. Also, back then I didn't even know Amos was even a book in the bible, but hey there it was.
Fast forward 8 years. 23 years old. I met the girl I saw in that dream. I didn't recognize her at first because I had stopped thinking about the dream. But then I realized it. We became friends, and I helped her out in hard times. The Lord impressed on me that she was indeed the wife He prepared for me. I was skeptical and doubted. So I asked Him to prove it. 3 times I asked for arbitrary signs that wouldn't normally happen under any circumstance, and each time I got my sign just when I asked for it. Whenever I fell into doubt, I would go to church and the message spoken would speak directly to my doubts. Sometimes someone who didn't even know the situation (or me) would come up to me and prophecy the very same thing that the Lord had been impressing on me about this girl. Of course I doubted, but began to believe.
It went well for a while. We became best friends. We would say our "I love you's" every night (via phone). Our friendship grew strong. Very strong. We both considered the other as family.
Problem: this girl is a lesbian. As you can see, I had good reasons to be skeptical about God's "promise". But even though she was extremely uncomfortable with just about every other guy, she was very comfortable with me.
Bigger problem: our friendship hit a rough patch. We ended up going our separate ways. Part of the reason is because I am a Christian. She's an atheist and hates everything that has to do with God or Christianity to the point that it makes her physically ill. And here am I, devout Christian living for God. It was bound to happen. One day she told me that she couldn't stand the fact I was a Christian, so she blocked every channel of communication. I haven't spoken to her in nearly a year.
And so, this brings us to the present time.
So, what do you think? And what should I do? Although originally I couldn't see her as anything more than a friend, I came to love her dearly (although I've never even been physically attracted to her, not even once). She became more important to me than myself. Since we went our separate ways I've been faring well for the most part, because of the grace of God that gives me strength, and Christ who comforts me. But I've never been able to forget her (I tried). And I know I never will. In my 25 years of life, she is the one and only woman I have ever truly loved.
Any feedback or suggestions as to what to do, where to go from here?
Fast forward 8 years. 23 years old. I met the girl I saw in that dream. I didn't recognize her at first because I had stopped thinking about the dream. But then I realized it. We became friends, and I helped her out in hard times. The Lord impressed on me that she was indeed the wife He prepared for me. I was skeptical and doubted. So I asked Him to prove it. 3 times I asked for arbitrary signs that wouldn't normally happen under any circumstance, and each time I got my sign just when I asked for it. Whenever I fell into doubt, I would go to church and the message spoken would speak directly to my doubts. Sometimes someone who didn't even know the situation (or me) would come up to me and prophecy the very same thing that the Lord had been impressing on me about this girl. Of course I doubted, but began to believe.
It went well for a while. We became best friends. We would say our "I love you's" every night (via phone). Our friendship grew strong. Very strong. We both considered the other as family.
Problem: this girl is a lesbian. As you can see, I had good reasons to be skeptical about God's "promise". But even though she was extremely uncomfortable with just about every other guy, she was very comfortable with me.
Bigger problem: our friendship hit a rough patch. We ended up going our separate ways. Part of the reason is because I am a Christian. She's an atheist and hates everything that has to do with God or Christianity to the point that it makes her physically ill. And here am I, devout Christian living for God. It was bound to happen. One day she told me that she couldn't stand the fact I was a Christian, so she blocked every channel of communication. I haven't spoken to her in nearly a year.
And so, this brings us to the present time.
So, what do you think? And what should I do? Although originally I couldn't see her as anything more than a friend, I came to love her dearly (although I've never even been physically attracted to her, not even once). She became more important to me than myself. Since we went our separate ways I've been faring well for the most part, because of the grace of God that gives me strength, and Christ who comforts me. But I've never been able to forget her (I tried). And I know I never will. In my 25 years of life, she is the one and only woman I have ever truly loved.
Any feedback or suggestions as to what to do, where to go from here?
