I just read a thing online that said, godly sorrow is when you are " sorry enough to change your actions."
can this topic see exploration because I'm Wondering if I found my gem, and maybe something that could be helpful to others seeking that word I don't understand, repentance.
There is a godly fear, first, that results from sin. When you are intensely aware of what you deserve and awful temporal consequences seem imminent, and you are disgusted with yourself and expect the worst --almost welcoming it to get it over with--, God's kindness and reprieve cause a new fear --a godly fear-- you KNOW you were at the cusp, and he should have finished you, but he did not. The thankfulness is overflowing, with an internal trembling at the patience and power of God who would be entirely justified in doing you in --THAT God-- who will not be mocked, forgives you for HIS OWN SAKE. Not because you deserve it nor because he owes you anything.
Then, you do it again, and again, teaching yourself to ignore all protests and even thought, and driving the Godly fear away, and teaching your mind new habits of blocking the conscience, but then the Spirit of God touches you and you are overwhelmed. I don't know any other words to name the scream of pain you feel crying out to God for help, for strength, for integrity, for the righteousness and holiness you have so desired for so long, and keep pushing away from you, but to name it "Godly sorrow". No longer is it about you, but about God.
It is God who works in you both to will and do according to his good pleasure.
Repentance, no matter how sincere, is not repentance unless God works it in you. You can make all your rules and sayings, and be measured by them, but you will fall short. Only God can do this.