Hello everyone, this is my first ever post and I'm not sure I even have the right category. My question is about God calling a person to do something. Right now I'm feeling compelled to help a specific person in my life that I don't know very well. I feel like God is pushing me to jump in and help this person/family. I just don't know how to tell if it's God's will or if I'm just imagining it. That's the short of it.
The long of it requires a little background and I truly hope I don't offend anyone with my words, I just want everyone to understand where I'm coming from and why I'm confused. First, I'm not a particularly religious person. I don't attend church, but I do pray and have a relationship with God. I am a believer, but I guess you could say I'm a little lost. Next, I am a teacher and the people I feel compelled to help is the family of a couple of my students. Around Christmas time the children in the family (my students) and I formed a very strong bond out of nowhere. We always go along, but something changed in our relationship and I started feeling very protective of these kids. Soon I was feeling compelled to communicate with their mother and we formed a relationship as well. I have a strict code of conduct and I never get personally involved (meaning friends, not romantically...that's out of the questions) with my kids parents. This parent added me on social media and I accepted without hesitation, which over my 5+ years in education I've never done. Anyway, we have built a little bit of friendship over the past several weeks, but I wouldn't say I really know her yet. So this is where my confusion comes into play. At first I thought I was developing a crush on the mom (I occasionally get same sex feelings, but have never acted on them) but then I started to think it was more than that. Higher than that. This family has been on my heart for several weeks now and I just can't shake them. One of the blessings God has bestowed upon me is the ability to get people to open up about their problems and feel comfortable sharing. This mom did just that at our last meeting. She told me about her youngest child who suffers from a severe mental illness. By the way she spoke I could tell she adores this child but also suffers greatly because there is nothing she can do to help improve said child's situation. I happen to be familiar with the child's disability and major disability in general as I grew up with a severely disabled sibling. This is where I feel God pushing me.
It's like He's telling me to reach out to this woman..I say her because she is the heart of the household, if I help her, I help them all. I understand the loneliness that comes with raising a disabled child, as I saw it with my own mom. I understand her child's disorder and that the child can make their lives a living nightmare, all while seeming perfect in public. I understand the toll this child is taking on this family. Most importantly, I understand that this child is loved unconditionally by a strong Christian family that will do anything to get this disorder under control. That's where I start thinking...they have God, why would they need me?
Yet today I really felt Him in this situation. I was in church, at a funeral, and in a moment of prayer (after the service) I asked God to give me a definitive sign if it was Him that was pushing me towards this family and not just something I'm imagining. Less than 30 minutes later I ran into the parents at the store and made plans to get together. That is odd because I have never, not once, seen these people in public. I feel like I'm being lead down a slippery path. I do not get involved with parents socially. I never have and swore I never would but I find myself doing it more and more with this family. I have never felt compelled to do this and I know I have to trust that He is leading me in the right direction but it's hard to let this happen. Have any of you ever experienced God pushing you towards something? Does he really speak to us this clearly?
The long of it requires a little background and I truly hope I don't offend anyone with my words, I just want everyone to understand where I'm coming from and why I'm confused. First, I'm not a particularly religious person. I don't attend church, but I do pray and have a relationship with God. I am a believer, but I guess you could say I'm a little lost. Next, I am a teacher and the people I feel compelled to help is the family of a couple of my students. Around Christmas time the children in the family (my students) and I formed a very strong bond out of nowhere. We always go along, but something changed in our relationship and I started feeling very protective of these kids. Soon I was feeling compelled to communicate with their mother and we formed a relationship as well. I have a strict code of conduct and I never get personally involved (meaning friends, not romantically...that's out of the questions) with my kids parents. This parent added me on social media and I accepted without hesitation, which over my 5+ years in education I've never done. Anyway, we have built a little bit of friendship over the past several weeks, but I wouldn't say I really know her yet. So this is where my confusion comes into play. At first I thought I was developing a crush on the mom (I occasionally get same sex feelings, but have never acted on them) but then I started to think it was more than that. Higher than that. This family has been on my heart for several weeks now and I just can't shake them. One of the blessings God has bestowed upon me is the ability to get people to open up about their problems and feel comfortable sharing. This mom did just that at our last meeting. She told me about her youngest child who suffers from a severe mental illness. By the way she spoke I could tell she adores this child but also suffers greatly because there is nothing she can do to help improve said child's situation. I happen to be familiar with the child's disability and major disability in general as I grew up with a severely disabled sibling. This is where I feel God pushing me.
It's like He's telling me to reach out to this woman..I say her because she is the heart of the household, if I help her, I help them all. I understand the loneliness that comes with raising a disabled child, as I saw it with my own mom. I understand her child's disorder and that the child can make their lives a living nightmare, all while seeming perfect in public. I understand the toll this child is taking on this family. Most importantly, I understand that this child is loved unconditionally by a strong Christian family that will do anything to get this disorder under control. That's where I start thinking...they have God, why would they need me?
Yet today I really felt Him in this situation. I was in church, at a funeral, and in a moment of prayer (after the service) I asked God to give me a definitive sign if it was Him that was pushing me towards this family and not just something I'm imagining. Less than 30 minutes later I ran into the parents at the store and made plans to get together. That is odd because I have never, not once, seen these people in public. I feel like I'm being lead down a slippery path. I do not get involved with parents socially. I never have and swore I never would but I find myself doing it more and more with this family. I have never felt compelled to do this and I know I have to trust that He is leading me in the right direction but it's hard to let this happen. Have any of you ever experienced God pushing you towards something? Does he really speak to us this clearly?