giving up

[imforeverakid]

im a leader for the youth group at our church. one of the girls that i mentor is clinically depressed and has been for a while. The doctors still have not been able to stablize her meds. She has also been admitted to a hospital at one point in time. I tried to tell her that God was still with her during this time and she will prevail. I encourage her to continue praying. However, I found out today that she has decided that if " God loves her, He wouldnt put her through this" she even has given up on prayer, and basically on faith all together.

does anyone have any advice on what i can tell this poor young girl?

 

[ptgd1st]

I don't know if this is going to be good advice or not. I was diagnosed with depression when i was younger and when i was in junior high i attempted suicide. For me nothing could pull me out of my depression. None of the doctors, none of the meds, nothing anyone said. For me I just reached a point where i did not want to feel this way before. I believe the Lord guided me through that and brought me back.

For this girl, i think the best thing you can do is just be with her. Don't try to pull her out of it. Don't treat her like she is depressed. Just be there. Through your actions show that you love her and that you can be someone she can come to when she is ready to talk. Keep her coming to church.

Hope that helps.

 

[TruthSetsYouFree]

im a leader for the youth group at our church. one of the girls that i mentor is clinically depressed and has been for a while. The doctors still have not been able to stablize her meds. She has also been admitted to a hospital at one point in time. I tried to tell her that God was still with her during this time and she will prevail. I encourage her to continue praying. However, I found out today that she has decided that if " God loves her, He wouldnt put her through this" she even has given up on prayer, and basically on faith all together.

does anyone have any advice on what i can tell this poor young girl?

Could you give me a little more background of her past? Does she have a history of depression in her family tree? Siblings, parents, grandparents, etc. Is there any clear reason for this depression? Do you have any ideas of how and when this started?

In Christ,
Bobby

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I've recently discovered the world of depression. Now that I know what it is I realize that I've lived with it all my life. A good doctor is a good start. My doctor costs a pile of money but he gets the job done quickly. He believes that you should feel a remarkable difference quickly, even though the med may take time to reach maximum effectiveness, and also he does not believe that someone should endure side effects. Also, for her, some anti-depressants seem to have less than stellar effects on teenagers.

It's hard. You feel the effects of depression, which are varied. This is what you see and what you believe to be true because it is what your head is telling you. However, feelings are unreliable. I like to mention weather. Changes in the weather have amazing effects on our moods and emotions. A song can have an effect on our emotions. I've learned that relying on emotions to indicate to me what is right and true is the wrong way to go about things. God loves me and has a plan for me. He created me, and I am something special to him. I definitely don't feel that, but I choose to believe that regardless of how I feel.
We are created in the image of God. We truly are special. We have an enemy who would love nothing else than to destroy that image, to destroy us. He's pretty freaking good at it too.
I fight this guy every day, and the depression he uses so cunningly.

Wearing masks seems to be how we are all conditioned. We wear a happy face to hide what we are dealing with from the world around us. This is dysfunctional. Without writing too much, I think that this, in a nutshell, contributes to our emotional destruction.

 

[TruthSetsYouFree]

God loves me and has a plan for me. He created me, and I am something special to him. I definitely don't feel that, but I choose to believe that regardless of how I feel.
We are created in the image of God. We truly are special. We have an enemy who would love nothing else than to destroy that image, to destroy us. He's pretty freaking good at it too.
I fight this guy every day, and the depression he uses so cunningly.

Hey Brother!

You are sooooooo right about that!!! If the enemy can distort how we see our relationship with God, he can cause us to feel distant from our Heavenly Father, and that spawns a lot of worries, fears, spiritual insecurities, and depressive junk! There's a verse that says perfect love casts our fear (1 John 4:18). I've heard that there's a good book that helps us learn of our position in Christ, it's called Victory over Darkness by Neil T. Anderson. I haven't read this book, but I have read his book The Bondage Breaker, and it is AWESOME! (Another book I would highly recommend reading.)

I've been through a LOT myself, and one thing I found helped me, is learning who I am in Christ, and learning the truth about my relationship with the Father. It's important to see our relationship with our heavenly Father for what it really is! I think you would get a lot out of those books I mentioned! I know the Bondage Breaker has helped me out immensely!!

In Christ,
Bobby

 

[VivDaGurl]

im a leader for the youth group at our church. one of the girls that i mentor is clinically depressed and has been for a while. The doctors still have not been able to stablize her meds. She has also been admitted to a hospital at one point in time. I tried to tell her that God was still with her during this time and she will prevail. I encourage her to continue praying. However, I found out today that she has decided that if " God loves her, He wouldnt put her through this" she even has given up on prayer, and basically on faith all together.

does anyone have any advice on what i can tell this poor young girl?

Have you tried to go deep down the root to find out what had caused her to be depressed? Sometimes, it helps....like the book recommended by TruthSetsYouFree, the Bondage Breaker, is helping one to go down the root of the problem and acknowledge it. Work from that way...

For example, I get really miserable when people start to tell me that I'm stupid or whatsoever it is. Yes, it's something that concerns about other's speech but then again, it hurts me and lead me to depression sometimes. When I was younger, my mom likes to compare my studies results with the rest of my cousins and when my results are really bad, I get lots of beatings and/or forfeits. Just like what TruthSetsYouFree said, learn who we are in Christ helps a lot. God never make a mistake to make me the person I am and of course, I'm not a stupid creature here He had created but He had created me for a reason, for a purpose - to glorify Him. How can a stupid person glorify the Lord?

Be there for her and when you realised that she's depressed, offer to pray together with her. You can also encourage her to pray...another thing you could do is do some simple Bible studies with her - Bible studies that will be able to help her see herself. I would suggest doing Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren with her would be a good start.

I hope this help and I will be for you as you help this poor girl.

Never give up on her or anything at all! I welcome your PM if you need to....

 

[TheMainException]

You may not be able to tell her a thing to lift her from her from this whole world of pain and suffering that she lives in....not much helps when we depressives are ready to throw in the towel like she is doing. I encourage...no....I insist that you pray if you want this girl to get better...and I know you do...so that's what I would do. Now...I say this...do not think that if she decides to end her life, that you have failed. This is on her shoulder's. If someone is gonna kill themselves, you can do as much as you can, but if she doesn't tell you, what are you going to do. At no point does the blame fall to you unless you fail to act if she says she is gonna kill herself. Otherwise, keep encouring her and praying for her.

 

[imforeverakid]

Could you give me a little more background of her past? Does she have a history of depression in her family tree? Siblings, parents, grandparents, etc. Is there any clear reason for this depression? Do you have any ideas of how and when this started?

In Christ,
Bobby

She has a younger sister who is bipolar. But besides her, to my knowledge, there is no other traces of depression in her family. Her depression first started when she began high school, so about a year and a half ago. She "fell in love" with the youth minister at the time and had a very hard time with that. She craves attention in so many ways, especially from boys. She has done things in the past with boys that she regrets, and she wont let it go.

 

[imforeverakid]

i appreciate all of your advice.

as far as having her find herself in Christ, how exactly can i encourage her to do that??

also, i failed to mention that i have depression too, which makes me take more heart to this girl. I try to tell her the verses that got me through my bad times, but hers is much much worse.

thanks again

 

[TruthSetsYouFree]

She has a younger sister who is bipolar. But besides her, to my knowledge, there is no other traces of depression in her family. Her depression first started when she began high school, so about a year and a half ago. She "fell in love" with the youth minister at the time and had a very hard time with that. She craves attention in so many ways, especially from boys. She has done things in the past with boys that she regrets, and she wont let it go.

You mentioned her having done things with boys that she regrets, and she won't let it go. Do you mean she's been emotionally wounded in some way by it, and won't get it off her mind? There could be a 'wound' there that needs to be healed. Does she feel guilty for her sins? Excessively? Do you know how the depression started in her sister? With this attention/boys thing, are there any similar weaknesses in her family that could attribute to her desire for the attention from boys? I know unholy relations between unmarried people can create soul ties, which can cause depression... if the person they had relations with had depression, I believe it can be 'transferred' to both persons, because the two become one flesh (1 Corinthians 6:16). If that is the case, a soul tie(s) may need to be broken. I'm also curious how it started in her sister's life, because often when two siblings share the same thing, it's often (but not always) a sign that it could have been handed down.

On a very positive note, I've been through some pretty heavy depression and fears before, and the Lord has brought me out of a LOT. If He can do it for me, He can do it for you and this girl too! Whatever the situation, the root of the problem needs to be found and solved, and I believe that through Christ, this is fully possible.

In Christ,
Bobby

 

[mikeforjesus]

are u serious u can transmit depression like this? so does that mean its better for me not to get married so that I dont make my wifes life a living hell? And what if she is happy happy will that make me happy?

 

[TruthSetsYouFree]

are u serious u can transmit depression like this? so does that mean its better for me not to get married so that I dont make my wifes life a living hell?

I don't believe the enemy can create a bridge like that if your relationship is holy. It's through sin that the 'bridge' (unholy soul tie) is created. I've never heard of anything like that happening, and people get married all the time to somebody who's had things like fears or depression going on, and aren't affected by it.

I believe the evil bridge is born from a sinful relationship; I don't believe it can be spawned from a holy relationship.

And what if she is happy happy will that make me happy?

I believe if you are facing depression, then it needs to be addressed individually. Usually there's some kind of a root that needs to be broken or overcome in depression, and it's something that's gotta be attacked at the root in order to experience 100% freedom that lasts.

So when did your depression start? Did your ancestors or siblings struggle with depression too?

In Christ,
Bobby

 

[imforeverakid]

You mentioned her having done things with boys that she regrets, and she won't let it go. Do you mean she's been emotionally wounded in some way by it, and won't get it off her mind? There could be a 'wound' there that needs to be healed. Does she feel guilty for her sins? Excessively? Do you know how the depression started in her sister? With this attention/boys thing, are there any similar weaknesses in her family that could attribute to her desire for the attention from boys? I know unholy relations between unmarried people can create soul ties, which can cause depression... if the person they had relations with had depression, I believe it can be 'transferred' to both persons, because the two become one flesh (1 Corinthians 6:16). If that is the case, a soul tie(s) may need to be broken. I'm also curious how it started in her sister's life, because often when two siblings share the same thing, it's often (but not always) a sign that it could have been handed down.

On a very positive note, I've been through some pretty heavy depression and fears before, and the Lord has brought me out of a LOT. If He can do it for me, He can do it for you and this girl too! Whatever the situation, the root of the problem needs to be found and solved, and I believe that through Christ, this is fully possible.

In Christ,
Bobby

i guess you could say she committed some sins with boys a few years ago that she deeply regrets and feels excessively guilty.
As far as the bipolar disorder with her sister, i have no idea on the origins of that.
The want for attention from boys is most likely stemmed from her father. From what i understand, her parents do not have a great relationship since her father is very "work-focused." He neglects giving attention to his wife, or even to his daughters. This girl is often upset by her father for these reasons.

 

[mostie]

Although im by no means an expert on anything like this (seems like i start every post i make with a sentence such as that, lol)....I suffer from depression, although ive never been treated specifically for it- I can recall being depressed at the age of 8, for absolutely no reason, I just....was. This wasn't a constant occurrence, but it happened on occasion- so I find it difficult to believe that a person's personality can't play some sort of roll, big or small, in whether or not a person is predisposed to depression. And I think the one thing that ive learned, even though it doesn't make me 'feel' any better....is to just hang on for dear life to God through it all. At the end of the road, this is really all there is- when it comes down to it. Other than that, just letting her know you care, trying to make things feel normal....read the Psalms to her, Psalms 91 is a comforting one- even David suffered from depression at times, his Psalms reflect it all over the place---but just letting her know you are there for her---maybe God placed you directly in her path, knowing you suffer depression as she does, so that you can minister to her effectively, knowing what she is truly going through---I hope things work out---ask God to lead you in what He would have you do.

 

[TruthSetsYouFree]

i guess you could say she committed some sins with boys a few years ago that she deeply regrets and feels excessively guilty.
As far as the bipolar disorder with her sister, i have no idea on the origins of that.
The want for attention from boys is most likely stemmed from her father. From what i understand, her parents do not have a great relationship since her father is very "work-focused." He neglects giving attention to his wife, or even to his daughters. This girl is often upset by her father for these reasons.

It sounds to me like she's felt rejection from her father, and it has caused her an emotional (and spiritual) wound. The enemy loves to take the opportunity of rejection to move in on a person, and cause them to build up hurt and bitterness inside. Unforgiveness is the enemy's goal here. Now this is where it gets a little bit tricky, because a lot of people get offended when you approach them and tell them that they must forgive those who have hurt them. And quite often, it's very hard for a person to forgive somebody from his or her heart. But this is almost always a 100% necessity for her to be set free from this. If she doesn't forgive her father, it blocks God from forgiving her sins (Mark 11:26), and it opens her up to be turned over to the tormentors (Matthew 18:23-35). That emotional wound NEEDS to be cleaned and properly healed. She needs to let go of those hurt feelings, and give them to Jesus. I can't tell you how many people are hurting out there all because of unforgiveness. It's a deadly spiritual poison.

Two books I would recommend (and both are around 100-130 pages - small books) are Root of Rejection & The Power of Forgiveness, both were written by Joyce Meyer. I have read about half of the forgiveness one, and I know enough about Joyce Meyer to be pretty confident that her book on rejection has to be awesome!

As for her sister, do you feel that she is bitter against her dad too? Does her mother feel any bitterness against her husband?

In Christ,
Bobby