- Nov 21, 2018
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Does your husband share your beliefs about inappropriate content? Also, did/ do you share all of your sexual fantasies and masturbation activities with him? His reason for not telling you about his tumbler inappropriate content would be the same as your reasons for not telling your fiancé about every sexual fantasy or masturbation experience.Hey Everyone.
This is my first thread on this site so please forgive me if I don't know how to post/what I'm doing. lol
I'll try to make my long-winded story as short as possible. My husband and I got married last month. A couple months before we got married my husband told me that he had a Tumblr where he reposted different pieces of inappropriate content that he would touch to. As a young girl, I kind of figured that he was looking at inappropriate content sometimes...sadly it's so common and I wasn't under the impression that I had the perfect fiance. Anyway, my husband (then fiance) had always been so awkwardly honest. Though I hated hearing it, I was still glad he told me. He had told me he looked at inappropriate content before telling me about his blog but I had said I didn't really want to hear about it as long as it wasn't going to be an issue after marriage. Yeah, I should have known better than to say that. When he told me about this Tumblr, I asked him if he communicated with people through it, he said no, it was just a place to save different things he had found. I basically told him that I wasn't going to tolerate any type of inappropriate content and that since we were engaged he needed to get his life in order before we got married and that this was a huge red flag and trust issue for me. He told me it was just a bad habit, he was sorry for not being more transparent earlier, that he thought I just wouldn't want to know and that he was going to stop after we got married. I didn't tell him to delete his blog right away, even though he offered because I didn't want it to be my decision. It was a day after being told about his blog when he told me he deleted it on his own and said he was not going to be looking at inappropriate content anymore. Since then, I had only asked once (a month before we married) if he had been able to not look/if he was struggling. He had told me it really hadn't been an issue for him.
I prayed and prayed and sought advice on this issue when it first came up. I felt peace about it before we got married, which is why I married him. A few weeks after we got married he asked out of the blue if I trusted him. I said yes and asked why he would say that. And he said because of what I had told him when I first learned of his Tumblr. Then he went on to say that he knew he could stop looking at inappropriate content/stop masturbating but he didn't know it would be as easy as it has been. I didn't say much, I was just happy to hear that he hadn't been struggling.
When I married him I knew I would have to accept the uncertainty, that maybe someday he would look at inappropriate content again even if I never knew about it. But my heart tells me that he really isn't looking at inappropriate content/doesn't have a strong desire to, that it really was just a bad habit. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. But how do I move past this myself? I feel like I'M struggling over something he did that he's already moving past. How do I let myself completely trust him again when he's already doing absolutely nothing wrong? I appreciate your kindness and honesty as I feel so guilty about this. Thank you.
He's not as against it as I am but definitely understands my point of view. I did share everything with him, yes. Mine were easier to share though since I don't watch inappropriate content. It was probably more difficult for him/he thought I didn't wanna hear about it. I see what you're saying though.Does your husband share your beliefs about inappropriate content? Also, did/ do you share all of your sexual fantasies and masturbation activities with him? His reason for not telling you about his tumbler inappropriate content would be the same as your reasons for not telling your fiancé about every sexual fantasy or masturbation experience.
While I understand not wanting to hear about it, that will inevitably lead to your partner hiding things due to shame. Plenty of Christians watch inappropriate content and have healthy intimate relationships. My husband and I watch it together sometimes.He's not as against it as I am but definitely understands my point of view. I did share everything with him, yes. Mine were easier to share though since I don't watch inappropriate content. It was probably more difficult for him/he thought I didn't wanna hear about it. I see what you're saying though.
So true - I wish I was less scared to hear what he had to say, we could have avoided so much miscommunication. And I don't believe in inappropriate content but if that's something that another couple wants to partake in together then I don't see anything wrong with that. Every couple is different and that's totally ok!While I understand not wanting to hear about it, that will inevitably lead to your partner hiding things due to shame. Plenty of Christians watch inappropriate content and have healthy intimate relationships. My husband and I watch it together sometimes.
Not a good source of entertainment,While I understand not wanting to hear about it, that will inevitably lead to your partner hiding things due to shame. Plenty of Christians watch inappropriate content and have healthy intimate relationships. My husband and I watch it together sometimes.
Jesus is already here, and I’m not terrified.Not a good source of entertainment,
Ponder this,
My desire is to never do, watch, say or wear anything I wouldn't want to be doing when Jesus comes.
Because someday He will and I don't want to be terrified when He does. (Luke 12:42-49)
While I understand not wanting to hear about it, that will inevitably lead to your partner hiding things due to shame. Plenty of Christians watch inappropriate content and have healthy intimate relationships. My husband and I watch it together sometimes.
Wow!So true - I wish I was less scared to hear what he had to say, we could have avoided so much miscommunication. And I don't believe in inappropriate content but if that's something that another couple wants to partake in together then I don't see anything wrong with that. Every couple is different and that's totally ok!
I agree with you entirely. I spent 24 years working with people whose primary malfunctions began with this sickness.I pray that this isn't true re: married Christian couples watching inappropriate content together.
inappropriate content is not a healthy source of entertainment.
Yeah - it happens.I pray that this isn't true re: married Christian couples watching inappropriate content together.
You’re entitled to your opinion.I pray that this isn't true re: married Christian couples watching inappropriate content together.
inappropriate content is not a healthy source of entertainment.
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