Get Behind me Satan!

[fluffy_rainbow]

I hate it when I start to think too much and satan get his foot in the door. Ever since my divorce my parents have told me I probably should have stuck it out. I agree and I am very sad over my divorce; however, my mother does believe God has someone else for me and to just be patient and let Him put this man in my life. So, that's what I'm doing, but it's so hard when you can't let go of the ex. He abused me, caused me to have a miscarriage, cheated on me, and now he has moved on and had a child with his "other woman". They even named their daughter what he and I were going to name our first daughter . I feel cheated. She's getting to have the best of him. The Jared that learned from the mistakes he made with me. They have a child together and one on the way, and I was left grieving over the son or daughter I lost. His family loves her, they hated me.

It's sad. I talked to him around this time last year. I needed him to know my regrets and that I was so sorry for the things I did to him...namely, divorcing him instead of trying harder. He admitted that on the day of our divorce hearing, he wanted to run across that courtroom and beg me to forgive him, but my dad was there and was worried about a nasty confrontation. He told me he never stopped loving me, but that he also loved his new wife and that it was a different type of love. He admitted to still having all of the memorabilia he'd saved from our seven year relationship. Everything from movie ticket stubs to drinking straw wrappers, hair scrunchies, and pictures. On one hand, our conversation offered me alot of closure and peace. At least he forgave me, but he's no longer mine. It opened up alot of old wounds that still won't heal. I'm scared they never will and he will go on and have a happy life in a marriage that should have been ours, while I'll be left alone and lonely...grieving over a marriage that I allowed to die. It's not fair.

So when I start thinking up things is when satan takes control. I often wonder if I will hear through the gossip grapevine that he and his wife were splitting up and then I'd rush to find him and beg for another chance. I often let satan try and tempt me to ruin his marriage. I shouldn't have these thoughts. He cheated on me, he has remarried, and I have been released. So why do I feel as if I am shackled to this?

 

[E_Powers]

if you wait resolution in this matter just give forgiveness and dont for get the event but dont let it control your everyday life. learn to strengthen your self in the lord. you have a higher calling and god want you at your best. just be with the lord all other worries will fall in place.

i know you are battered and bruised spiritually, but what was broken is to be fixed by the lord. just like you healed physicallyand as if you haven' heard it enough HAVE PATENCE

 

[Yitzchak]

It can be tough to break an emotional connection to someone who you were married to and loved.
I will pray for you.

 

[Southern Cross]

So when I start thinking up things is when satan takes control. I often wonder if I will hear through the gossip grapevine that he and his wife were splitting up and then I'd rush to find him and beg for another chance. I often let satan try and tempt me to ruin his marriage. I shouldn't have these thoughts. He cheated on me, he has remarried, and I have been released. So why do I feel as if I am shackled to this?

Your heart is wounded, fluffy rainbow. It's not even a scar yet, you're still bleeding. It will take time for that jagged tear in your heart to begin healing. But you have strength. And you have God to uphold you when your strength fails.

Understand this. Satan is a master strategist and liar, and his timing is perfect. He gives no quarter in battle, and this is a battle for your heart and mind is being waged between his forces and God. Satan understands that your heart is your weak point right now, and he will use that against you at any cost. Right now, he's probably using the past and your remorse about how things turned out to make you feel shackled. His goal is to use your thoughts against you and ultimately destroy you before tossing you aside. So as your strength in the Lord grows, you should expect more pointed attacks in both your thought life and physical temptations. It's so very subtle you'd never notice unless you were watching for it.

I hear the hurt in your words, and I feel for you and I mean it. I will pray for healing for you - and discernment to know when you are being set up for a fall. I think you've done a remarkably good job. Many women would have given in and tried to wreck their husband's second marriage. Men would do the same. I think you have a strong sense of dignity and self worth because you have not given into that temptation and you have a hope for your future. Still, you are going to feel that way from time to time. I know I certainly felt that way about the my wife's affair, and doing some emotional damage to my wife and going after the other guy was something I thought about often enough. I'm not one to take things lying down, but I really struggled with what an appropriate response should be.

As I think about your situation, a thought pops into my mind. Be very, very careful about future relationships. Seek God's approval first. You are really vulnerable in some ways, and Satan could easily send someone who looks like a perfect match into your life. Just trust me on this one - I know what I'm speaking of. Satan will use circumstances and your own righteous desires to put a plan in motion to give you the opportunity to sin and you'll be hurt more than you were in the past. If you look closely, you may see some orchestration going on. So you need to be careful, seek discernment from God and watch for Satan's deception. He knows your weak point, fluffy rainbow. And this stuff can really contribute to a wounded and hardened heart.

Oh, I did learn something very valuable from your post. Come January or early February my wife and I will be in meetings with a family law mediator to make final agreements on our divorce settlement. I will certainly not hesitate to get up from the table and pull her outside and ask for one more chance if things get that far. The story of how your husband almost did it makes me resolved to go through with it even if it seems hopeless.

Stay strong!
Southern Cross

 

[madison1101]

Honey, you are still wounded, not only physically, but emotionally. You need lots of time, and help to heal. Have you been in therapy? I highly recommend it. I don't know how I would have gotten through my divorce without a professional to help me.

You have suffered some terrible losses, not only your hopes for a loving marriage, but a child.

The holidays make it harder. Knowing he is happy and doing all you had hoped to do with him doesn't help. I know, my ex remarried, and is taking her to Florida every winter, which he refused to do when we were married, and to Europe. I got to go to the woods on vacation. They have tons of money together. I can barely make my bills.

Anyway, you don't need to hear me whine. Do something for someone else this holiday season. Volunteer at a homeless shelter for a few hours. See if the Salvation Army needs any volunteers. It will help you see how wonderfully blessed you are.

 

[heartnsoul]

Hi fluffy,

Big hugs to you!! We feel your pain. Continue to pray hard and find your strength in God. We will pray for your healing. Every time I am feeling down, I turn to God because he is the best friend anyone can have. Please give God a chance to work in your life. God will never leave you even if you feel alone. Try to leave the past behind you and look forward to the future. I know this is easier said than done. God bless you.