Genuine relationship for singles

[Joven]

What if God is referring you to a guy/girl that you don't want. He/she is not your typical type but God wants him/her for you. God has been bothering you for a long time. It is just lingering into your mind because you still have doubts if God really wants him/her for you. All the confimations that you wanted has been given to you. What will you do? Will you marry him/her now or you will still wait until you totally fall in love with him/her or you will insist to God that you want somebody other than the person He's giving you? Guys and Girls may post their opinion(s) though they're not experiencing it. Or may give your advice(s) for those who are having this kind of situation.

 

[waterbear]

Aside from that fact I really don't see that happening in my life... I don't think people are "called upon" to marry, and if I'm not interested in the marriage than I'll stay celibate. Marrying someone I'm not attracted to seems... wrong at best, destructive at worst. Would I get to know the person - yes. Would that likely change my mind - no.

 

[mmadison777]

I would never marry someone who I did not feel comfortable with. There are so many other things that God wants me to do. Geting married is not something I think God would lead me into.

 

[blueroses27]

I think that God not only wants, but KNOWS whats best for you. And He wont reffer you to somebody you wont be happy with. He knows our hearts and He will honour our desires, as long as they are in line with His will.

But on the other hand. I would make sure that it is God speaking. And I certainly wouldnt jump into marriage right away!

 

[Joven]

i was struck at all of your answers. im reminded that God is also After our happiness too. Well actually, me too, i won't marry that girl im not compatible with. I know for sure that God will make us compatible as soonest as we are ready enough to get married. has anyone here read the book of joshua harris "I kissed dating goodbye" and "boy meets girl"?

 

[soda]

I hope God will make you fall for him before you get married....

 

[Wakeup2god]

If you're not attracted to this person in any way then don't go there. God made us that way, to see beauty and to have chemistry with te right person, and I don't particularly mean physical chemistry.

Wait untill you fall in love if you think that's a possability. There must be some indication. Attraction to the personality etc... I don't think we shoould have a 'typical type'. Check your motives and your criteria for a partner. Finaly don't rush there's plenty of time.

 

[chanis]

I don't think that God would necessarily do that to some one I think he would birth a genuine love for that person, becuase ultimatley when it comes down to it you need to be drawn to that person and find something attractivea bout them...

 

[fishstix]

What if God is referring you to a guy/girl that you don't want. He/she is not your typical type but God wants him/her for you. God has been bothering you for a long time. It is just lingering into your mind because you still have doubts if God really wants him/her for you. All the confimations that you wanted has been given to you. What will you do? Will you marry him/her now or you will still wait until you totally fall in love with him/her or you will insist to God that you want somebody other than the person He's giving you? Guys and Girls may post their opinion(s) though they're not experiencing it. Or may give your advice(s) for those who are having this kind of situation.

I would wait for God to change my heart on the matter to match up with His. It wouldn't be fair to another person to marry them if I didn't really want to. In the meanwhile, I would remain single.

I would also prayerfully consider whether I might be misunderstanding God. I might be thinking "romantic relationship" when He is actually just wanting me to form a platonic friendship with the person. Or I might be thinking "now" when God is actually pointing towards something in the distant future.

 

[the_man]

I think the idea in our Christian lives is to have a walk with God that is so close that there is no difference between His will and our will; that His will becomes our will. When we question what God will is in a situation, it is more of a relevation that we are not in as close a relationship with God to be able to discern His will. That His will is not yet our will because His will is (and will be) known.

So if I find myself in that situation, it is time to focus on my walk with Him...after that, the path to take will be clear.

 

[gord44]

you have to remember that love is more of a choice to be with someone......romance is usually not a true feeling that you should rely on to gauge if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person.....IMO God does not choose one person for you, there are probably several options or maybe none or maybe a few.....use God to help you decide

 

[JPPT1974]

I think the idea in our Christian lives is to have a walk with God that is so close that there is no difference between His will and our will; that His will becomes our will. When we question what God will is in a situation, it is more of a relevation that we are not in as close a relationship with God to be able to discern His will. That His will is not yet our will because His will is (and will be) known.

So if I find myself in that situation, it is time to focus on my walk with Him...after that, the path to take will be clear.

If we compromise God's plans for our lives we miss out on a whole lot and that the Lord wants us to be close to Him in order to grow with Him regardless of what we do. His will and planning is the best and God also is the God who never, ever changes and never, ever will.

 

[swtldy622]

If you definitely know in your heart that the Lord wants this person for you, why fight it? Even if you absolutely cannot see yourself with this person, the Lord knows what He wants for you. He may see something in that person that you cannot see. I have this same issue. What if the Lord does send me someone that I think I don't want or that I could not see myself with? I wouldn't be able to accept it unless I actually received confirmation from the Lord. Otherwise, I am not committing myself to a relationship with that person, especially if I am not sure about that person.

But the Lord has given me confirmation about a guy that I was not supposed to be with. So I can see Him confirming a relationship also.

swtldy622

 

[Joven]

Hmmmm.???? All of your answers are like answers of a mature christian. Hope that we are not just good in what we say but also in our action and obedience. Some people I know of are just good in arguing but in the end, their Lordship is not totally 100%

 

[Princess Pea]

Hmmmm.???? All of your answers are like answers of a mature christian. Hope that we are not just good in what we say but also in our action and obedience. Some people I know of are just good in arguing but in the end, their Lordship is not totally 100%

Yeah, that's the trouble with asking questions in a place like this - we don't really know your exact situation, and you have no idea where your answers are coming from! You might be better off talking to your own pastor or another older Christian you know and trust, who knows you - or, better yet, both of you.

Here are my two cents: I don't know exactly what you mean by "confirmations from God", but if you mean there have been signs, be aware that it's REALLY easy to start seeing signs all over the place once you're looking for them. There have been entire threads on that topic in this forum - search back far enough and you'll find them. Signs, frankly, are the last thing I'd trust in making a big decision, especially if all your other decision-making factors are pointing in the opposite direction. (But if you must have a sign, the fact that you're struggling to love her is a huge one!)

I'm also trying to imagine your marriage proposal: "I don't want you, and you're not really my type, and I'm not in love with you, and I'm really wishing God had sent me someone better but He hasn't, and I think it's because He wants you to be my wife ... so, how about it?" Frankly, I would run the other way. Immediately.

Finally, consider this: It's not just about you. It's very much about her too. Sometimes the loving thing to do is to let someone go free. Do you honestly believe that you, with your current attitude about her, are the best God has for her?

 

[songz777]

Well if it was me I would not make any move toward a woman unless i was 100% pecaeful. If it were Gods will, then obviousally you would need to have some kind of love feelings fro them, and God would give you 100% happiness about it. God wants the best He isnt going to lead you to someone whom you feel unhappy about. If He wants you to marry such a person, ask Him to turn your heart / emotions everything around to the point where you dearly long for this person, and really begin to "gel" to them

 

[renaistre]

What if God is referring you to a guy/girl that you don't want. He/she is not your typical type but God wants him/her for you. God has been bothering you for a long time. It is just lingering into your mind because you still have doubts if God really wants him/her for you. All the confimations that you wanted has been given to you. What will you do? Will you marry him/her now or you will still wait until you totally fall in love with him/her or you will insist to God that you want somebody other than the person He's giving you? Guys and Girls may post their opinion(s) though they're not experiencing it. Or may give your advice(s) for those who are having this kind of situation.

I highlighted two of your sentances because to me they are, for the most part, mutually exclusive. One of the many confirmations that I would generally look for is that I would want the girl. I'm sure there might be exceptions to this, but I think it's usually a safe assumption.

I think the idea in our Christian lives is to have a walk with God that is so close that there is no difference between His will and our will; that His will becomes our will. When we question what God will is in a situation, it is more of a relevation that we are not in as close a relationship with God to be able to discern His will. That His will is not yet our will because His will is (and will be) known.

So if I find myself in that situation, it is time to focus on my walk with Him...after that, the path to take will be clear.

I think this is good advice, in that our goal should be to have our will allign with God's. But I think of Jesus in the garden praying, "not my will, but yours." So is it wrong to have our will be different than God's, assuming that we follow His anyway? This one's actually got me a little stumped.

 

[JPPT1974]

We should do the will and work of the Lord. And if we don't then it compromises His plans for us. And that is Satan speaking to us to remove ourselves from Jesus and that we need to stay focus on Jesus and not be lead into temptation that Satan is trying to get our attention with.