Gay thoughts struggles

[Lincs]

I am a divorced man just into my 50's and ever since i was 18 i have struggled with gay fantasies. I've never actually fancied a man, only women but I only ever fantasise about being with men.
I go through spells where all i can think about is being with a man, go on gay dating apps and chat rooms and look at gay themed pics and stories. Then i want nothing to do with the subject.
I have also gone through spells where i would wear female lingerie (sometimes my girlfriends/wife's) and clothes.
Its an endless cycle. When i come put of my gay cycle i hate myself for so long.
I have not been with a woman for over 10 years but in that time i have been with a few guys but only once with all of them, i never see them again or want to. When i say that out to myself, i think well i must be gay then surely.
I really don't know to do. Its really geting to me. It might help if i could to someone who has been going through something similar. Please help!

 

[redleghunter]

I am a divorced man just into my 50's and ever since i was 18 i have struggled with gay fantasies. I've never actually fancied a man, only women but I only ever fantasise about being with men.
I go through spells where all i can think about is being with a man, go on gay dating apps and chat rooms and look at gay themed pics and stories. Then i want nothing to do with the subject.
I have also gone through spells where i would wear female lingerie (sometimes my girlfriends/wife's) and clothes.
Its an endless cycle. When i come put of my gay cycle i hate myself for so long.
I have not been with a woman for over 10 years but in that time i have been with a few guys but only once with all of them, i never see them again or want to. When i say that out to myself, i think well i must be gay then surely.
I really don't know to do. Its really geting to me. It might help if i could to someone who has been going through something similar. Please help!

Have you spoke to your pastor about this?

 

[Lincs]

Yes, he didn't know what to suggest other than pray about it

 

[Lincs]

Have you spoke to your pastor about this?

Yes, he didn't know what to suggest other than pray about it

 

[redleghunter]

Yes, he didn't know what to suggest other than pray about it

Well that’s important. But is there a men’s group at your church which meets and discusses issues?

 

[Lincs]

Well that’s important. But is there a men’s group at your church which meets and discusses issues?

Unfortunately not

 

[Michie]

I am a divorced man just into my 50's and ever since i was 18 i have struggled with gay fantasies. I've never actually fancied a man, only women but I only ever fantasise about being with men.
I go through spells where all i can think about is being with a man, go on gay dating apps and chat rooms and look at gay themed pics and stories. Then i want nothing to do with the subject.
I have also gone through spells where i would wear female lingerie (sometimes my girlfriends/wife's) and clothes.
Its an endless cycle. When i come put of my gay cycle i hate myself for so long.
I have not been with a woman for over 10 years but in that time i have been with a few guys but only once with all of them, i never see them again or want to. When i say that out to myself, i think well i must be gay then surely.
I really don't know to do. Its really geting to me. It might help if i could to someone who has been going through something similar. Please help!

Maybe you should get a referral from your doctor. I would not recommend discussing such intimate subjects on the internet with complete strangers.

 

[Lincs]

Maybe you should get a referral from your doctor. I would not recommend discussing such intimate subjects on the internet with complete strangers.

1. Thats what forums are for.
2. What exactly is a doctor going to do? It's not an illness!

 

[Michie]

1. Thats what forums are for.
2. What exactly is a doctor going to do? It's not an illness!

For a referral to someone that is a professional you can talk to. I’m sorry but forums are for safe discussion. Not discussions that require professional help about your kinks. This is also an introduction forum. It is not an ‘ask a stranger for advice’ forum. If you do not think it’s a problem then why does it disturb you so? You could be referred to group therapy where people are struggling with the same issues in a safe, professional environment.

 

[HatedByAll]

You are not alone. Many of us have struggled with this. A good place to start is on this forum. Go to the index and look for sexual struggles under mental health and recovery. A good place to read testimonies of former homosexuals is at the Changed Movement Website and Facebook.

There are many others, but most of them can be found linked to from there.

 

[Michie]

Smh.

 

[Deade]

Hello Lincs,
welcome to CF.

I hope you'll enjoy your stay here.