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remorse12

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Hi im new here

Im so confused and agitated right now...
I was in hospital not so long ago cos of ana, and God miraculously healed me, I could eat normally again and Ive had no problem with it...up till now...
I dont really understand where its come from, I mean (as far as I can tell) theres been nothing to trigger it, though I dont think Ive worked through the issues behind the ED, but I dont have a clue how to do that! I really really dont want to go back to psychiatrist, perfectly nice people and that but didnt help, health service over here is so under budgeted they dont have time # proper therapy, besides I would feel like I 'failed'.
I dont know how to deal with my feelings... since I was young ive had some type of 'coping mechanism' and I dont know what alternative there is! I supress my feelings a lot, and I know all the suggestions like writing it down etc but Im so busy and/or tired all the time (non related stuff that I cant help) I dont have the energy or the means.
I feel like Im just doing everything wrong... even though I try to fight the urge not to eat etc and ask God for help I still feel like im losing it... I talk about things with people I care about, and though it does help abit at the time it doesnt last, and it doesnt solve anything...
I dont want to go back down the ana route (though part of me does), but I feel like I dont have control over it
any suggestions?
God bless ^^
 

goldenviolet

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aaawww hun, humble yourself to be ministered to. you aren't a failure. could this be a cycle or temptation? the temptation is huge, don't risk your health, go back to the doctor and ask for some support. please don't delay, we all know the longer you wait it's more frustrating to get back on track. and keep us undated, and let us be here for you. ~ love dee
 
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