- Jan 18, 2007
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Hello brothers and sisters,
I normally act like a sniper and scanning thru the forums seeing posts where I can be helpful. Today I think I just need to humble myself and I have to realize I need help too.
I am very introverted, I'm the dude in the background watching everything making sure everything is OK. Stepping in when I need to help out. I am very knowledgeable and I have a heart to help people. Yet because of my personality I am very isolated. It is so hard to care about idle chatting or just have fun like other people do.
I normally cheat and use people who are strong with social skills to hear about things people are going through and get my foot in the door. Now the wonderful women in my life, wife and mother in law, are going thru seasons of their own problems. Now that avenue is closed.
I been having therapy sessions with God to help work through my anxieties. Forgiving people who hurt me in the past, "daddy issues", and so forth. To see if that would help me to become 'free' from my limitations. I made a lot of progress over the years, but it is still there. That invisible barrier, that keeps me from impacting people around me.
Worst part is my gifts and talent requires people to work. I have to hear their problems to feel alive. No matter how much I want to run away from people, I need people. I am called to teach the Word, to help people discover their gifts, and encourage them when things get tough. Yet I can't connect with people naturally. It sucks so much.
My home church home group just disbanded and now our only option is large reformed church in the area. Which is like getting lost in a crowd again. I have no one to talk to about this other than the Lord and my wife. I guess I am kinda desperate at this point.
I appreciate any feedback I get. Thanks for taking the time to read my rant.
I normally act like a sniper and scanning thru the forums seeing posts where I can be helpful. Today I think I just need to humble myself and I have to realize I need help too.
I am very introverted, I'm the dude in the background watching everything making sure everything is OK. Stepping in when I need to help out. I am very knowledgeable and I have a heart to help people. Yet because of my personality I am very isolated. It is so hard to care about idle chatting or just have fun like other people do.
I normally cheat and use people who are strong with social skills to hear about things people are going through and get my foot in the door. Now the wonderful women in my life, wife and mother in law, are going thru seasons of their own problems. Now that avenue is closed.
I been having therapy sessions with God to help work through my anxieties. Forgiving people who hurt me in the past, "daddy issues", and so forth. To see if that would help me to become 'free' from my limitations. I made a lot of progress over the years, but it is still there. That invisible barrier, that keeps me from impacting people around me.
Worst part is my gifts and talent requires people to work. I have to hear their problems to feel alive. No matter how much I want to run away from people, I need people. I am called to teach the Word, to help people discover their gifts, and encourage them when things get tough. Yet I can't connect with people naturally. It sucks so much.
My home church home group just disbanded and now our only option is large reformed church in the area. Which is like getting lost in a crowd again. I have no one to talk to about this other than the Lord and my wife. I guess I am kinda desperate at this point.
I appreciate any feedback I get. Thanks for taking the time to read my rant.