From Private School to Public School

[SelfProtect]

My kids (5th Grader and 7th Grader) have been in private school all their lives - 6 years. I have been divorced for almost 2 years and I see no way to keep them their this upcoming schoolyear. The school I have them at, does not have scholarships. It is a kindergarten through 12 Grade environment. It was my desire to keep them there until they graduate. Now my heart is breaking, can anyone offer words of encouragement/experience in having been through this. I'm not even sure if I can afford one of the bigger private schools that have scholarship even with the scholarship. To me, to move them to another private school or public, its equally heartbreaking. I was raised in public school and had a horrible experience - I was addicted to drugs at a young age and sexually promiscuous. Although, I have a better relationship with my kids than my parents had with me. Its just yucky. I feel like I want to give my kids good gifts as my Father in heaven desires to give us good gifts. So why are we having to go through this? I will trust the Lord but need emotional support from you guys.

 

[bliz]

I have been blessed having a great Christian school my kids have attended - my youngest has 2 years to go! Which is to say, I know what a huge loss this would be for you and your children.

Have you spoken to your school board or governing body? Unless they have a big waiting list, a family receiving some financial help, or discounted tuition, still brings more money into the school than leaving the seats empty. Can they start a financial aid program? My kids school (parent controled, K -12) has a policy of 10% of tuition revenues being used for financial aid.

Check out the other private schools with scholarships. You need to know all the information so you can make wise decisions. Yes, it may still be too expensive, but you will not know that until you find out.

Make your needs known before men. Tell your church. Tell them of your situation and ask them for prayer. The raising of your children is not your business alone. If your kids were baptised, the church stood up with you and pledged to help your children develop spiritually.

Having said that... we both know that God loves your children more than you do, and is is better able to care for them than you are. I have found that as a parent I wish to spare my children from things that hurt me. But, lo and hold, the things that hurt me do not necessarily phase them at all and other things that I coped with, turn out to be major problems for them. Sometimes we focus so much on giving our kids what we needed, we don't don't pay enough attention to what our kids really need. Your children's needs are not the same as yours. As your rightly point out, their relationship with you is quite different from what you had with your parents.

God has called his people, including children, into some interesting situations. Esther, the nice Jewish girl, ended up in the King's harem! Samuel was sent to live with the Eli, who was fallling into sin, as were his sons. You will still be the biggest influence in your kids lives, and they will come home to your house every day.

Schools vary greatly! There are horrible public schools. And there are great public schools. There are great Christian schools and dradful Christian schools. I can guarantee you that, as a rule, kids in private (non-Christian) schools have much greater access to alcohol and drugs then kids in public schools. Sex? You canot show me a school, including Christian schools, where some kids are not having sex. Before you scare yourself to death, learn about the school your children would attend. There are Christain teachers and principals in public schools, and other Christian students.

Of course I have no idea what God has in mind for you and your children, and I know this is very upsetting for you. Just remember that God's vision sees around the corners, and sees through time, and that His love for you and your kiddos is far greater than yours.

God be with you.

 

[SelfProtect]

Thanks Bliz.

I may go by the public school with my kids this week to check it out. The thing is that I am $10,000 in debt (includes my car). Not as much as most people but its always been a dream / goal of mine to be debt free. But since my divorce, I figured I would carry the debt into the kids adulthood (in order to keep the kids in private school - see my post in Personal Finance about refinancing my home to get debt free). Anyway... This year I would be paying about $8,000 in private school (for both my kids). I just am not sure I am being a good steward of the money God has provided me. So, I can take them out and be debt free in a little over a year or I can borrow another $1,000 and keep them in another year and be $11,000 in debt. I can afford it on paper but the unexpected costs is what jolts me all the time and now I'm about $1,000 short according to my budget/forecast. Of course, keep in mind, I'm not able to save for my financial future or their college tuition. Anyway, I hope and pray to find peace for me and my kids through this situation.

 

[kayanne]

selfprotect, for several reasons, last summer we realized we would need to transfer our middle son from his christian highschool to public school, and our youngest from homeschool to public school. oh, i was soooo worried about the "wrong influences" and the "bad kids" etc etc

my sons had a wonderful experience!! my middle son says he never once encountered drugs (never saw any or overheard any transactions or even heard any of his friends talk about doing drugs) and this is a highschool with a reputation for drugs! you see, he has a strong christian foundation, and he just pretty naturally migrated to other christian kids. academically he did great there, and was very impressed with the huge number of options there (classes as well as extracurriculars) compared to his small christian highschool.

my youngest son was in 7th, and other than dealing with one particularly cranky teacher, and a massive homework load, his experience was very positive also.

i have praised the Lord for protecting them and bringing them christian friends and helping them make the transition soooo smoothly!!

 

[SelfProtect]

Thanks Kayanne for your reply.

I visited 5 public schools yesterday. I have talked to a lot of friends and neighbors about the public school we are zoned to and have heard nothing but bad news about the middle school which has a small campus with 1700 students attending. I have a friend who lives in a nicer subdivision whose middle school has a large campus with 1100 students attending. The School District we attend allows you to apply at a different school you are not zoned to but it is up to that school if you are accepted or not. I am applying for the school in my friends neighborhood. Also, from talking to parents and neighbors if my children can get into the Gifted and Talented classes the class of students attending are more respectful to the teachers and each other.

I feel a little better since I've gained more info. For me the option is my friend's school or back to private school.

 

[bliz]

When I was wrestling with the decision about where to send our kids to school, I worried about money for college, too. A friend shared her decision with me and it was a great help to me: "You kids can always borrow money for college. They can't borrow an education."

I'm glad you checked out the possibilties! There are many good ways to educate children and as much as I have loved our Christian school, that hardly means that is the right way for everyone. So much depends upon where you live and what schools are available.

May God give you wisdom and peace in your decision.

 

[kayanne]

Also, from talking to parents and neighbors if my children can get into the Gifted and Talented classes the class of students attending are more respectful to the teachers and each other.

yes, very good point. i didn't mention in my post (didn't want to sound braggy) that my kids were both placed in the highest honors program, and in general, that does keep my kids around "good students." don't misunderstand, i'm not at all saying that "good kids" will be found only in the honors classes!! but usually the druggies and the "i don't care about school" kind of kids won't make it into the honors program.