I have some minimal suicide prevent training and the number one thing in preventing a suicide is to find out who has a planned method and what it is. The people with a planned method are at highest risk for actually carrying it out...and without knowing about the plan, no one understands how to intercede. On a forum like this...and being related to our "Christian" name, I would hope that we are here to help and befriend people who are very lonely and at very low places in their lives. We can't do that if the posts get erased before the rest of us can sign on and recognize the pain and risk. It also takes time to build up trust with someone to get to the point where you actually can get them to give out the information necessary to provide help when we are working with anonymous people.
I believe that Christianforums needs to consult a crisis organization and revisit their policies. Doing what "feels right" by a bunch of people with no training in this area or using the general policy of "we are not professionals, if you need help, contact one" is also not a Christian viewpoint...though it may be legally "safe". People who are hurting that bad aren't usually going to looking for that kind of help without constant encouragement...if they are going to at all. If they have posted, they are asking for help RIGHT NOW and if it is here, then this is who they are asking help from. Erasing their posts or the details of their pain only shows them that they are correct in assuming that no one cares and they aren't worth listening to.
And yes, on a forum specifically for a named mental health issue like depression, anxiety, PSTD, grief....etc....need to be monitored more carefully because the members are more in a delicate state ... but erasing them isn't the answer either...I would hope that these forums are monitored by a trained someone who can actually reach out to the hurting individuals before "erasing" their pain. However, on a general talk like this one, most of us are not quite to delicate or as likely to be triggered.
I do appreciate you for talking to us. It is hard to be a grown adult and be treated like we are children who don't know what is best for us by some unknown entities. We do need to know if one of our friends has died. That is common respect. Maybe even a simple post that has said that "The forum is sad to announce that they have learned that XXX had passed away by his own hand. In respect for his family, we cannot pass on any more details. XXX-XXX-XXXX is a number to contact if you are feeling suicidal. We do care." and you can post any national suicide hotline phone number...it doesn't have to be associated with Christianforum.
Can I say that your "mod hat" is the most respectful one I have seen in this ordeal. I also thank you for talking to us like adults.
