Friendship: The Singles' Support Network

[caitlincares]

Friendship: The Singles' Support Network Dr. Jan Yager (excerpt)

For singles, how well they handle the emotional demands of being single, especially when they are romantically unattached, will often depend on creating and maintaining a supportive friendship network.

Friendship enables single men and women to have intimacy on their own terms. Unlike marriage, friendship does not involve their entire life, a status shift, a change in living arrangements, or a new name.

Sociologist and singles expert Peter J. Stein, who interviewed 60 single men and women between the ages of 25 and 45, concluded, "For all of these adults a major source of intimacy came from opposite and same-sex friendships. In the absence of marriage these single adults noted the importance of substitute networks of human relationships that met their needs for intimacy, sharing and continuity."

It is vital to keep adding to a friendship network as friends become unavailable because someone moves or gets totally immersed in a romantic relationship or an all-consuming situation, such as a new job. These friendshifts enable you to replenish your network so you always feel connected to at least one close friend.

Full article: http://www.christianwomentoday.com/womenmen/friends.html

 

[KeilCoppes]

You know, caitlin, this indeed a true thing. However, I think we probably miss that acquaintences don't totally meet the need for intimacy - that place in which we are able to totally share with someone and know that they share everything with us down to the deepest thoughts of the heart and value us in a way that no-one else does and that can never be shaken.

And yet, what we do have is very important. I am going to be in a difficult situation when my parents go to be with the Lord. My other friends aren't friends on the same level.

 

[caitlincares]

I believe the word friend is overused.
I personally distinguish the differences as acquaintenance and "true" friend.

Acquaintances would be folks I work with, or church folks or folks I meet on a message board UNLESS we both take the time to BUILD the FRIENDSHIP.

There is one person on this board I have been building a friendship with. We PM and email each other - sharing more than we would on the open board. We think a alot alike so we can understand each other. Already we have been able to turn to each other - what a blessing! Friendship is a blessing.

"True" friends I can count on one hand. We may not talk every day or even every week or even every month. But I know they are there when I need to talk. And they know I am here for them when they need to talk. Those friends WE both made an effort to invest in developing a friendship - and they do all happen to be Christians.

I pray for you Keil to be able to MAKE some good friends.

 

[Grunt]

I think its true enough. At the moment I have just about zero true friends and I'm borderline on going insane.

 

[Ginsu]

I think its true enough. At the moment I have just about zero true friends and I'm borderline on going insane.

Same here. But instead of going insane, I did the most logical thing one would do in a situation like this. I made up my own imaginary friends.

They are great to be around with, except one particular individual. Sir Morian of the order of the Crimson Hammers made a pass at me today which some would take as sexual harrassment. I was not impressed at all with this kind of behaviour.

 

[TriptychR]

I know how it feels to have a good friend become consumed in a romantic relationship and spend less time with you. You almost feel betrayed, but you have to accept that it's mostly natural and you'd probably do the same if you were in that situation. But for that reason I agree that it's important to branch out.

 

[KeilCoppes]

I pray for you Keil to be able to MAKE some good friends.

Thanks - being open is easy, having other people grow to be comfortable with being open, that's a challenge! And thanks again.

 

[Love&Pain]

That is a great article! Thank you for sharing that with me Caitlin! I think the term friendship can be overused. I call a lot of people my friend. Anyone who doesn't envy me, judge me, or look down at me is considered my friend. If I talk to you one day and I find that you have a kind heart, you are called my friend. Even if we only talked once and it wasn't a long conversation. I do not really have any close friends. I do have friends though. I know that when I need them they will be there for me like you are Caitlin. Thank you for being my friend and for helping me in times of need!

 

[Fatolia]

So far I've met two wonderful people on this board that I've had a chance to meet in person and often talk to them over the phone. I hope these friendships mature and develop into something awesome.

As well as having same gender friends, you're definitely right that we need opposite sex friends. I found that I stopped getting all desperate for women after I started developing some lady friendships.

I prayed sincerely for this, of course! And how did God answer my prayer? Did he just throw a bunch of women in my direction? No, he opened my eyes to see the women I had around me, and he changed me so that I would learn how to interact with them. That gift was greater than gold.

 

[JPPT1974]

Hopefully that God wil answer your prayers in his time and will as well as we depending on the Lord. Thank you for this board and may the Lord bless and keep you all.