Friendship and commitment

[Left]

Someone might have told me they wanted to be my best friend and I thought they became it, but then they didn't want any commitment to come with it, and wanted to treat me like they would their acquaintances. It really hurt me . You see, I consider commitment to be a part of friendship, and if someone says they want to be my best friend, but don't want the commitment or any of that best friend stuff, I consider it they might as well have lied to me.

 

[Left]

I was taught that if a person says they are wearing a red shirt, but are wearing a blue, not to trust them.

Likewise, either you are all in for something, like best friends, or you are not.

And I feel to be friends with these people who are, for lack of better words lukewarm, gives me panic attacks .

I want friends, but I want them to be able to handle the responsibility of the friendship. Otherwise, I'd rather just be on my own.

 

[HereIStand]

Friendship takes time. Something people are sometimes reluctant to give. Better though to spend limited time with others. Being on one's own in the world is too difficult.

 

[Winken]

I "reached out" for friends for years. Only three became friends back then. I just withdrew into my shell, digging deeper and deeper into depression. One of the results was that when others pulled away, or bullied, or laughed, was to lash out in anger; the behavior of others reminded me of, and enforced, my loneliness.

I entered the U.S. Army, and then the U.S. Air Force. No time for depression or anger !! Then I became a Christian Mediator, a Minister of the Gospel, and had opportunities to teach.

One of my classes was based upon this:

WDo ÷ mT = mR

The Words and Deeds of others, divided by my Thoughts about them, results in my Response.

It was an awakener for classrooms, whether college students or Christian assemblies.

Who was responsible for the result? Me. I could short-circuit, basing my response on resentment or anger or disappointment or outburst or withdrawal or hurt ---- but where did those come from? Me.

NOW ..... what to do? I look into the reasons for my responses.

That revealed that I (and everyone in my audience) could expose and deal with the ways in which I responded.

I recall a classroom setting where each one in the audience would actually pause before responding to anything !! What was the pause all about?

Each was examining self, just in a second or two !! It was not an agonizing pause....on the contrary, it was a brief revelation of how to respond in every circumstance and situation.

I cherish those memories..........

Good Nite --- and Be Blessed !!