Friend Trouble

[amanda092]

I've known my friend since our freshman year of high school. (I'm 20 and she's 21) I've noticed that when we first met, we had a lot of things in common. When we were in high school, I wasn't actually Christian. I'm not sure what i was in, I was interested in Paganism and just doubting a higher power all together. That's one thing we had in common. We hung out and found other things in common, and we have become best friends. Many things have changed in my life. I've recently become engaged and I'll be moving three hours away for college (and closer to my fiance and his family). When I got engaged, I told my friend she could be my maid of honor, but recent events have somewhat changed my mind. She's learned about my fiance, and how his parents are the leaders of the college group there, and he is the co-leader. My fiance is the one who has lead me to Christ and to change myself, but when I've told my friend all about him, she responds with "I don't understand how you can be with him. He's too religious for me." She herself is Wiccan now and from her attitude it seems she does not like Christians. I'm not sure what to do about her. She is the sweetest person I know (she's paid for my dinner when I had no money, she's given me rides to places and helped me with emotional support) I don't want to exclude her out of my life completely, but her negative attitude is starting to annoy me. I would confront her about it but I don't want her mad at me.

 

[bsd31]

I've known my friend since our freshman year of high school. (I'm 20 and she's 21) I've noticed that when we first met, we had a lot of things in common. When we were in high school, I wasn't actually Christian. I'm not sure what i was in, I was interested in Paganism and just doubting a higher power all together. That's one thing we had in common. We hung out and found other things in common, and we have become best friends. Many things have changed in my life. I've recently become engaged and I'll be moving three hours away for college (and closer to my fiance and his family). When I got engaged, I told my friend she could be my maid of honor, but recent events have somewhat changed my mind. She's learned about my fiance, and how his parents are the leaders of the college group there, and he is the co-leader. My fiance is the one who has lead me to Christ and to change myself, but when I've told my friend all about him, she responds with "I don't understand how you can be with him. He's too religious for me." She herself is Wiccan now and from her attitude it seems she does not like Christians. I'm not sure what to do about her. She is the sweetest person I know (she's paid for my dinner when I had no money, she's given me rides to places and helped me with emotional support) I don't want to exclude her out of my life completely, but her negative attitude is starting to annoy me. I would confront her about it but I don't want her mad at me.

Confront her and use scripture to convict her of her wickedness and depravity so she will turn to Christ. Remember what Jesus said -

And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Matthew 10:28 (ESV)

 

[seeingeyes]

I think you should show some patience here. Don't forget, you are the one who is changing, she's just the same girl she always was. You are the one who, from your friend's perspective, changed all of your religious views, your extracurricular activities, and maybe even a lot of your friendships because of this guy's influence.

So her 'negative attitude' may stem from what, from her point of view, looks like you adjusting everything about your life, including your address, for your fiance. She's probably worried that you are losing yourself.

Take her out and buy her dinner. Tell her that you want to hear what she has to say. And just listen. Don't argue. And then, tell her all the ways that your life is better because of your fiance.

Then share dessert and talk about shoes.

 

[renewed21]

I think you should show some patience here. Don't forget, you are the one who is changing, she's just the same girl she always was. You are the one who, from your friend's perspective, changed all of your religious views, your extracurricular activities, and maybe even a lot of your friendships because of this guy's influence.

So her 'negative attitude' may stem from what, from her point of view, looks like you adjusting everything about your life, including your address, for your fiance. She's probably worried that you are losing yourself.

Take her out and buy her dinner. Tell her that you want to hear what she has to say. And just listen. Don't argue. And then, tell her all the ways that your life is better because of your fiance.

Then share dessert and talk about shoes.

tha's much better than what I was going to post.

But , yes let your ations and words be a witness to her, show her love.

Congrat's on your engagement

 

[Pal Handy]

Her reaction only verifies and confirms the truth of the gospel of
Jesus Christ and how that the world will hate you because you belong to Him.

If you told your friend that you were joining any other religion she
wouldn't have blinked an eye but because you have chosen Christ
the god of this world will influence her to reject you and withdraw from
your threat to bring the light of Christ into her life.

Pray for her.

Christ in your life will cause change and those that you cared for that do not follow Christ
will reject you just as the world rejected Christ.

It hurts to think of all that you shared and how cruel it now seems
that she would turn her back on you but such is the divide between the
fallen kingdom of this world that is ruled by the devil and the kingdom
of God that you now belong to because of your faith in Christ.

Pray for your friend and reach out to her whenever God puts her on
your heart but understand that your choice to follow Jesus Christ
has put a divide between you and those who are blind to the truth and in darkness.

Keep praying for your friend and ask God to bring her out of the
darkness of this fallen world and into the light of Jesus Christ.

You are starting a new life with the man you love so leave the
past behind and trust in the Lord to guide you and believe that God
will bring new friends into your life and have faith that even though
friends my come and friends may go, Jesus Christ will never leave
or forsake you.

Develop a deep relationship with God in Christ and He will teach
you and comfort you and He will show you the path He has for your life
that will lead you safely through this life and into His arms of love.

John 15:18
Jesus speaking: “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.

 

[turkle]

I agree that an honest and kind discussion is in order. If she doesn't seem interested in changing her attitude about your fiance after you tell her why you love him, then it is appropriate to say "I'm sorry that you feel that way. I need my maid of honor to be supportive of my marriage. Because you don't, I need to ask someone else." You can do this firmly and graciously.

It's a tough situation to be in, and the friendship just might end. But you don't owe her the honor if she isn't supportive of you. I wish you well!

 

[amanda092]

Thank you everyone for your words I think what I need to do is take her out to lunch or dinner before I move and talk to her about this. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but her attitude about being a Christian rubs me the wrong way.
Thank you guys <3

 

[KathyW]

She also may be struggling because God is speaking to her heart -- and she may be afraid and resisting. Love, love, love her. If she was the only one in the world, Jesus would have died for her, too.

 

[Holden Caulfield]

Like others have said already, make sure that whatever you do it's lead by love. If you're confrontational with a friend like this, especially in a hostile or condescending manner, it ends up causing more harm than good. Just remember that we're ambassadors for Christ, we represent everything about him to others and so we should do it accurately, exuding love from every facet of our being.

 

[renewed21]

Like others have said already, make sure that whatever you do it's lead by love. If you're confrontational with a friend like this, especially in a hostile or condescending manner, it ends up causing more harm than good. Just remember that we're ambassadors for Christ, we represent everything about him to others and so we should do it accurately, exuding love from every facet of our being.

Agreed. Let your words and actions toward your friend be motivated out of love for her and not from any negative thought or feeling.

 

[Ark100]

Your friend said He's too religious for her?
You are the one engaged to him, not her. So you get to decide who is too religious or not.
Friends come and go. I agree with the part where some said be nice and all. But you have to remember if she becomes a stumbling block to your new found relationship with Christ, you have got to let her go.
This is the part where Christ says you would have to choose between Him and the world. Between Him and family, friends etc.
wicca for one is not something God approves of. Nothing biblical about it. You can pray for her as a friend so the Lord shows her the light.
The utmost part is to focus more on your relationship with the Lord, and of your fiance.
If your friend causes you problems about your new found love for Jesus, let her GO.
God will bring you new friends, those who love Him