Friend is Drinking Alot

[NeedHelp11]

I have a friend who has been through alot, some things that upset her etc.
sexual assault, difficult step mum etc.

She has been drinking quite heavily, maybe a bottle of spirit an evening, possibly more.

Im interested in what it is that it gives her, why she does it and whether there might be any suggestions on ways to help her stop?

If anyone can help id be gratefull

 

[ephraimanesti]

I have a friend who has been through alot, some things that upset her etc.
sexual assault, difficult step mum etc.

She has been drinking quite heavily, maybe a bottle of spirit an evening, possibly more.

Im interested in what it is that it gives her, why she does it and whether there might be any suggestions on ways to help her stop?

If anyone can help id be gratefull

MY DEAR BROTHER IN CHRIST,

As an Alcoholic, i know from personal experience that Alcohol is a very effective anesthetic--it numbs out pain, blots out reality, and allows us to escape from things we don't want to, or can't, deal with.
Reading your description of your friend above, it is obvious that she is in a lot of pain--especially from the sexual assault. So, as a guess (not knowing her personally) i would say that the extremely traumatic effects of the sexual abuse are causing her so much pain that she has chosen Alcohol as a means of escape.
My first suggestion would be that you help her to get into Sexual Abuse Counseling A.S.A.P. My guess--and its only a guess, please remember--is that until all her pain and shame from this terrible event is healed and resolved, it will be extremely difficult for you to convince her to give up the Alcohol which is probably her only source of relief from her pain at this point in time. (It would be kind of like someone trying to convince you to give up aspirins when you are suffering from a painful headache.)
Secondly, i would suggest that you go with her to some Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings. This is the most effective Program around for helping people to honestly face the negative effects of their drinking and to provide very effective tools in helping them stop. You would need to go with her because she probably won't go on her own--at least not at first.
Thirdly, and probably most importantly, PRAY FOR HER, PRAY FOR HER, PRAY FOR HER! In the final tally, IT IS GOD ALONE WHO CAN DELIVER YOUR FRIEND FOR HER DEPENDENCE ON ALCOHOL--AS WELL AS FROM THE REASONS FOR HER DRINKING!

MAY YOU BE BLESSED FOR YOUR CONCERN FOR YOUR FRIEND, AND MAY OUR LORD HAVE MERCY ON HER AND HEAL HER PAIN!
WITH MUCH LOVE IN CHRIST TO YOU BOTH,
ephraimanesti

 

[madison1101]

I ditto the suggestion to attend AA meetings with your friend. There are open meetings where anyone can attend. I also suggest that you seek out an Al-Anon meeting, for friends and loved ones of alcoholics.

I am a recovering alcoholic and I drank to numb the pain in my life. Your friend may not be interested in getting sober, but prayer can help that. Pray for your friend. Suggest alternatives to numbing out, like journaling and exercise.

Your friend is blessed to have a friend like you.

 

[Im-revived]

As a counsellor I can only offer advice, one thing that is needed though is to find out wether this friend admits she has a problem, or is in denial of having a problem. This is the most important part if she is to recover. If you wish PM with where shes up to with that.

From what you've said which isn't much detail, yes obviously she is suffering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and is using the drink to cover her emotions up of what shes been through or maybe still going through.

A bottle of Spirits every night like you say is heavy drinking, infact its more than any average women should drink in 6 days, so she is at serious risk of Liver problems if it continues. What you will be sad to hear also is that unless she wants help, she won't attempt to get it however much anyone tries to help. Its like to a minor degree if the whole world said to someone you have to stop a certain habit, unless they admit the problem and want help they won't get anywhere.

The reason shes doing this is because it numbs all emotional pain and brings a sense of calmness in her mind for a while. At night is the worst time for memorys to come back, and she may even be at the point where she drinks till shes asleep, therefore in a drunken sleep no memories keep her awake.

Your best thing at present aswell as praying for her, is find out if she thinks shes got a problem, if she wants help, then look into getting help. If she wants help firstly see the doctor with her, and she will be directed to help, but also she will need counselling to talk through the issues of whats driven her to drink. At present if you want support on how to help her there is AA and other services, which are not just for the alcoholic but for advice for you too. Remember PM if you wish! aand I'll be praying.

Im-revived

I have a friend who has been through alot, some things that upset her etc.
sexual assault, difficult step mum etc.

She has been drinking quite heavily, maybe a bottle of spirit an evening, possibly more.

Im interested in what it is that it gives her, why she does it and whether there might be any suggestions on ways to help her stop?

If anyone can help id be gratefull

 

[athiestrevival]

**** it get drunk with her you girlieman.

 

[krisran1]

As to why she might be drinking, it kills the pain. While under the influence she can forget everything. I drank that way for years. There isn't really a whole lot you can do for her unless she is willing to admit that she needs help. Prayer definitely works, but not always as fast as we want. Iknow that it is painful to sit back and watch her destroy herself with alcohol, but it is equally as painful and frustrating to continuosly offer help when she doesn't feel that she needs it.

 

[ephraimanesti]

As to why she might be drinking, it kills the pain. While under the influence she can forget everything. I drank that way for years. There isn't really a whole lot you can do for her unless she is willing to admit that she needs help. Prayer definitely works, but not always as fast as we want. Iknow that it is painful to sit back and watch her destroy herself with alcohol, but it is equally as painful and frustrating to continuosly offer help when she doesn't feel that she needs it.

MY DEAR SISTER IN CHRIST,

What you say is absolutely correct, but i would hope that it is possible to find a middle ground between the two extremes of pushing your help on someone who doesn't want it on the one hand--and "to sit back and watch her destroy herself" on the other. Prayerfully and also tangibly being there for her with open arms and open heart is the closest i can come to describing the middle ground--perhaps somewhat as Jesus stands by sorrowfly watching us sin and destroy ourselves, but bound by our God-given gift of free-will unable to act without our permission, but running to us and throwing His Loving Arms around us in unfathomable joy and gladness at the sound of a single word.

MUCH LOVE IN CHRIST'S LOVE,
ephraimanesti

 

[ArmouredSaint]

As to why she might be drinking, it kills the pain. While under the influence she can forget everything. I drank that way for years. There isn't really a whole lot you can do for her unless she is willing to admit that she needs help. Prayer definitely works, but not always as fast as we want. Iknow that it is painful to sit back and watch her destroy herself with alcohol, but it is equally as painful and frustrating to continuosly offer help when she doesn't feel that she needs it.

I have to second this post opinion. Killer of pain: drug use

 

[NeedHelp11]

**** it get drunk with her you girlieman.

hows it going, ok?

you sound kinda angry

 

[AngelDove1]

I have a friend who has been through alot, some things that upset her etc.
sexual assault, difficult step mum etc.

She has been drinking quite heavily, maybe a bottle of spirit an evening, possibly more.

Im interested in what it is that it gives her, why she does it and whether there might be any suggestions on ways to help her stop?

If anyone can help id be gratefull

HI there....
well......sorry to hear your friend has taken a mind altrating way to face her day's.

the only thing I can suggest ...is that you ask her to go to a ..AA meeting with you.

there she will hear stories from others that have gone that route. And let that play in her mind.She'll know if sh fits in or not.

But from what your telling us...she might just fit in.

Hearing other pl's story sometimes is a rude awakening for us..

I know ..been there done that.

Go to Al-Anon meetings for yourself help.There you will hear stories that will help you as a co-depenent.

Shalom......