Friend EX friend

[Taylor43]

I am sorry to vent but i am ready to let go of a friend because all she does is judge me and gives me tough love. I have tried and tried but everytime i talk to her she says i am not doing anythiong to help myself and i am wasting my counsellors time. I do have a eating disorder when I tell her i am doing better she says i am pleasing people.

I have other friends that are more friendly who kindly help me. This friend makes me feel guilty and a bad person. I have tried to talk to her but it does not work. All i am able is to move on and do what life bring me. If i need counseling or extra help it is ok. Last month we went out for lunch and basically she called me fake, because i am a counsellor and know it. Sorry my mood is not that way.

Love
Taylor

 

[Jeshu]

I am sorry to vent but i am ready to let go of a friend because all she does is judge me and gives me tough love. I have tried and tried but everytime i talk to her she says i am not doing anythiong to help myself and i am wasting my counsellors time. I do have a eating disorder when I tell her i am doing better she says i am pleasing people.

I have other friends that are more friendly who kindly help me. This friend makes me feel guilty and a bad person. I have tried to talk to her but it does not work. All i am able is to move on and do what life bring me. If i need counseling or extra help it is ok. Last month we went out for lunch and basically she called me fake, because i am a counsellor and know it. Sorry my mood is not that way.

Love
Taylor

I fully agree that a friend who hurts and belittles is not much of a friend. And if you can't discuss her behaviour with her in a meaningful way, than there is not much more scope then to terminate the relationship.

Gerry

 

[UnitynLove]

Is she a believer?

 

[Mskedi]

If you are not doing anything to help yourself (either in truth or in her perception) then she may very well be doing what she thinks is best for you. Our best friends are not always the ones who tell us what to hear, and the friends who you say are kind may be enabling.

I obviously don't know what's being said by her or by your other friends means I can't really have an opinion here, but I would hesitate to write off a friend that's hard on you when you do actually have a legitimate problem and you describe her actions as "tough love" which means, at least, that her heart is very well in the right place.

Tough love isn't beneficial for everyone, and maybe it isn't for you, but I wouldn't necessarily write her off as a friend.

 

[tapero]

I am sorry to vent but i am ready to let go of a friend because all she does is judge me and gives me tough love. I have tried and tried but everytime i talk to her she says i am not doing anythiong to help myself and i am wasting my counsellors time. I do have a eating disorder when I tell her i am doing better she says i am pleasing people.

I have other friends that are more friendly who kindly help me. This friend makes me feel guilty and a bad person. I have tried to talk to her but it does not work. All i am able is to move on and do what life bring me. If i need counseling or extra help it is ok. Last month we went out for lunch and basically she called me fake, because i am a counsellor and know it. Sorry my mood is not that way.

Love
Taylor

Dear Taylor,

Hi, I personally wouldn't maintain a friendship with someone that makes you feel guilty and like you are a bad person. Let it lead you closer to Christ though.

You have full rights to have problems like everyone else and being a counselor makes it a little harder, because it's hard to find someone good to share with that isn't constantly needing you to help them.

I would suggest not to doubt yourself.

My mother used tough love on us because she went to AA. It's a cold love, and we weren't alcoholics, but we had to endure whatever she was going through. It's not nice to push that on someone else because they themselves need it to deal with their own problems.

Tough love might help some, but some personalities can not bear it. You sound like one that can't nor could I.

I have strong boundaries that I keep with confidence. I let the Holy Spirit convict me, well, He convicts me over things. I can discern when they are false, not from God.

It sounds like she has a critical spirit, whether she's a believer or not. We are not to be torn down, nor apart by our friends, but loved and gently helped.

In your ed there are wonderful forums here where you will recieve support and love.

God bless you in your journey.

Please write me anytime.

In Christ's love,
Tapero

 

[Taylor43]

Thankyou for all your replies i am feeling better.

 

[Taylor43]

yes she is a believer

Is she a believer?

 

[Taylor43]

I unberstand what you are saying. Friends do surgar coat, but this friend just pushes me and at time i need to sit back. The advice she gives me is good but not her new idea's. I am trying so hard to understand her idea. The truth will set me free,