Free from marriage?

[Light of Jehovah]

"I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has a particular gift from God, one having one kind and another a different kind.

To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am.

Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife...Yet those who marry will experience distress in this life, and I would spare you that.

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord... And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit.

I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord."


-- 1 Corinthians 7:7-9, 27-28, 32, 34-35 (NRSV)

​

I will be honest; I have not lived a pure and chaste life, unfortunately, but I have been through enough experiences to convince me away from the poison of what society has taught us: that we need to marry and have a spouse to be happy.


All my life, I have been spoonfed this unfortunate societal normality of partnering up with a mate for happiness in this life; to find a husband, have children, and raise them in a good and God-loving environment; however, I have become in recent months, happier and happier of my single state.


I certainly pray that I will continue to courageously live for the Lord as a single woman and be somehow of service to Him, although I can only serve Him a little. I wish we had more single women and men out there who lead exemplary lives, and not necessarily limiting to some monastic community.


If a man comes into my life, that is wonderful. Otherwise, I would rather live fully between myself and Jehovah God, free from anxieties. I only hope that I stay this way for the next few decades!

 

[Somber]

What ever God has planned for my life I think I will do it gladly. If He wants me to stay single, I'll be happy single, and if He wants me to marry, then i think I'll be happy that way as well.

 

[Light of Jehovah]

What ever God has planned for my life I think I will do it gladly. If He wants me to stay single, I'll be happy single, and if He wants me to marry, then i think I'll be happy that way as well.

Amen, sister! I think we need more happy single folks out there as good examples!

 

[Somber]

Amen, sister! I think we need more happy single folks out there as good examples!

Yes, I think we do! !

 

[Justin.Parton]

Only thing that I would like to add is that while being a single person is fantastic. Don't easily discount the married life as being full of anxiety. It's not peaches and cream all the time, but neither is single life.

Each has it's strengths and weaknesses.

The idea is to find out from God:

Did you give me the gift of single life or marriage.


For the longest time I though that I was going to be metaphorically equal to a unice for the rest of my life(I got convicted from god for dating). Come to find out, everyone has a temporary gift of single life. Up until the point where they are happy and content with it in Christ that god says "now I'll give you your husband/wife.

So totally focused on him, that the thought of marriage makes us think we'll miss out on god. That's when he says "your ready"

But then There's the gift of single life. And it has it's own Benefits and hurdles. I don't have to remind someone of my plans, but then I have no one to tell me of my dreams/goals intimately (except god, but he cheats because he knew before I did).


But then again, I believe in courtship. Not dating. So I will be single until I get married.

 

[TanteBelle]

I will be honest; I have not lived a pure and chaste life, unfortunately, but I have been through enough experiences to convince me away from the poison of what society has taught us: that we need to marry and have a spouse to be happy.

All my life, I have been spoonfed this unfortunate societal normality of partnering up with a mate for happiness in this life; to find a husband, have children, and raise them in a good and God-loving environment; however, I have become in recent months, happier and happier of my single state.

I certainly pray that I will continue to courageously live for the Lord as a single woman and be somehow of service to Him, although I can only serve Him a little. I wish we had more single women and men out there who lead exemplary lives, and not necessarily limiting to some monastic community.

If a man comes into my life, that is wonderful. Otherwise, I would rather live fully between myself and Jehovah God, free from anxieties. I only hope that I stay this way for the next few decades!

I wouldn't say that society has 'poisoned' us with that idea. That's being human. God made mankind unique in that while He gave us a need to need Him, He was also selfless in allowing us to also need each other. And to that, God said, 'It is good!' God meant it that way.

I'll be honest, marriage freaks me! And no, it's not commitment or the work involved or having to care for others; that doesn't fase me at all! No problems there; mine are of a different nature! There was one point in my life where I'd rather swim in a school of sharks than take my chances at marrying. But my reasons for not wanting to marry were not good either and I had to be ruthlessly honest with myself there! And 'something' (I don't like laying things at God's feet that might not be from Him, so, I'll just say 'something') just said within me, 'Is that your reason!? Give me a better excuse than that!'. Folks fear marriage and having kids for all sorts of reasons but not too many that I think come from God's side. My reasons have nothing to do with God but rather what impressions mankind in our carnal nature has put upon me. It's not of God.

Now I'm not a girl who's one of those 'do or die' girls either but I have had to learn to wait on God and start getting my priorities in order! Going back a couple of years, my first priority was to block God for fear of what might be His will. God asked me to let go of the reins on my life and give them to Him. I said, 'Okay!' But I found myself now afraid that I'd be called up to face my fears (from man, not God!), so I tried to block God from Him getting His way. I know, right? Talk about hard headed! LOL! I was sitting down writing one day when something just said, 'What are you doing? You said you'd trust Me to take hold of your life. Do you trust Me or not!?' And I suddenly realised that I hadn't actually handed over my life to Him. I was trying to block God's will out of my life because of fear. Now, to be fair, I still struggle with my fears and some times they have a greater hold on me than others, but that's a different story.

Now, it's not my position to be telling folks their destiny at all, God forbid that I should. But I find myself wondering why so many modern Christians want to be single. In the old testament, the only sure record we have of someone being single all their life was Jeremiah. From what I can gather, he wanted to marry and God said 'No!' In the new testament, the only sure record that I can think of is Paul (if someone can think of more, please tell me! ). Maybe you might like to ask yourself some hard questions like, 'What are my reasons for wanting to be single? Are they of God?' I just know that anything that is not of God in my life, I want to battle it out of my life! It's not good there. Now yes, my focus is on God at this point in my life, but I have to also be aware that I don't block God.

Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Oh wait, my apologies, Light, that's talking to blokes, not to ladies! Blokes are the ones with the upper hand! LOL!

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I'd rather be married and face typical marriage issues if it means I'll have someone that loves me.

The alternative is to stay single and try to survive and then die alone. Not much fun at all I think.

 

[J.B.]

This is a very interesting discussion that I'll try to keep up with and read. I'm 22 years old and single, and I haven't dated yet. I'm not sure whether I have the gift Paul was talking about or not, but I suppose it is a good thing indeed for some to be free from marriage in their lives, and to have more time to serve God (which I should try harder to improve). Naturally, I am susceptable to the sin of lust on occasion (until fairly recently it used to be more frequent I feel), but I don't intend to commit adultery or fornication either. It is difficult, I know, to live an almost entirely Godly lifestyle. Pray for me, so that I may be guided by Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I feel as though there are certain points where my urges are strong, and I'm weaker than otherwise. Being a university student and around the young adult age, you may imagine how difficult it is to maintain one's integrity and grace. I'm going through a very difficult period in my life right now, and occasionally, I even feel a hint of jealousy seeing guys with their girlfriends.

Once again, I'm still undecided about marriage, yet somehow I have the notion that I can in fact manage living my life alone. People and their thoughts change however, and I may end up getting married after all.

 

[Somber]

Only thing that I would like to add is that while being a single person is fantastic. Don't easily discount the married life as being full of anxiety. It's not peaches and cream all the time, but neither is single life.

Each has it's strengths and weaknesses.

The idea is to find out from God:

Did you give me the gift of single life or marriage.


For the longest time I though that I was going to be metaphorically equal to a unice for the rest of my life(I got convicted from god for dating). Come to find out, everyone has a temporary gift of single life. Up until the point where they are happy and content with it in Christ that god says "now I'll give you your husband/wife.

So totally focused on him, that the thought of marriage makes us think we'll miss out on god. That's when he says "your ready"

But then There's the gift of single life. And it has it's own Benefits and hurdles. I don't have to remind someone of my plans, but then I have no one to tell me of my dreams/goals intimately (except god, but he cheats because he knew before I did).


But then again, I believe in courtship. Not dating. So I will be single until I get married.

Very good and well said

 

[redeemedbychrist]

Only thing that I would like to add is that while being a single person is fantastic. Don't easily discount the married life as being full of anxiety. It's not peaches and cream all the time, but neither is single life.

Each has it's strengths and weaknesses.

The idea is to find out from God:

Did you give me the gift of single life or marriage.


For the longest time I though that I was going to be metaphorically equal to a unice for the rest of my life(I got convicted from god for dating). Come to find out, everyone has a temporary gift of single life. Up until the point where they are happy and content with it in Christ that god says "now I'll give you your husband/wife.

So totally focused on him, that the thought of marriage makes us think we'll miss out on god. That's when he says "your ready"

But then There's the gift of single life. And it has it's own Benefits and hurdles. I don't have to remind someone of my plans, but then I have no one to tell me of my dreams/goals intimately (except god, but he cheats because he knew before I did).


But then again, I believe in courtship. Not dating. So I will be single until I get married.

I have struggled a lot with this myself, I sincerly want to get married but I also know that I need to serve the Lord and right now I probably would get sidetracked from it.

 

[a2prosper86]

"I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has a particular gift from God, one having one kind and another a different kind.

To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am.

Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife...Yet those who marry will experience distress in this life, and I would spare you that.

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord... And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit.



I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord."


-- 1 Corinthians 7:7-9, 27-28, 32, 34-35 (NRSV)

​

I will be honest; I have not lived a pure and chaste life, unfortunately, but I have been through enough experiences to convince me away from the poison of what society has taught us: that we need to marry and have a spouse to be happy.


All my life, I have been spoonfed this unfortunate societal normality of partnering up with a mate for happiness in this life; to find a husband, have children, and raise them in a good and God-loving environment; however, I have become in recent months, happier and happier of my single state.


I certainly pray that I will continue to courageously live for the Lord as a single woman and be somehow of service to Him, although I can only serve Him a little. I wish we had more single women and men out there who lead exemplary lives, and not necessarily limiting to some monastic community.


If a man comes into my life, that is wonderful. Otherwise, I would rather live fully between myself and Jehovah God, free from anxieties. I only hope that I stay this way for the next few decades!

That's not societies ruling though that was God's right back to Adam and Eve.

Although if you are happy being single then great! Paul in the bible was, Jesus was. Spend your time catering to God rather than to a mate! He is after all the greatest mate one can have but i wouldn't let your aspect of marriage continue less you minister to a failing couple and advise them wrong! Marriage and family life has its place in Gods will for creation and thats not to be snuffed at but neither is remaining alone. You must try and be balanced with your thinking. Make sure your experiences don't deceive you from the truth of Gods word and original commandment.

Again nothing to do with monastic. I am a single woman who loves her singleness and want to enjoy my single relationship with the Lord to its fullest but one day i would also love to be a wife and mother but all if God wills! If i am called to be single i will but if not i trust God no matter what but i see the beauty in both. In fact if you see news and stuff today society views have changed now the perfect family is man + man + kids or woman + woman + kids and were not going there!

U need to be fully open to Gods will not time limit him. If he decides you will be married this year know that marriage is a ministry and it is God who should be give then control not us. But i hope all works blessed for you
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